


His Shining Light

by Loulou26



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-11
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-01-24 10:23:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 62,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1601429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loulou26/pseuds/Loulou26
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Slade's army takes over Starling City, Oliver starts to feel defeated. But there is one person who can still get through to him. However, Slade knows that Oliver's feelings for his executive assistant run a little deeper than friendship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> What started out as a small fic about the S2 finale, has quickly morphed into something much larger.

Oliver stood inside the clock tower, watching his city below with an ache in his chest. Fires were breaking out everywhere he looked; people were running screaming in the streets, trying to get away from Slade’s men. They were terrorizing the city, and he felt powerless to stop them. No, he was powerless to stop them. 

“I just got off the phone with Cisco at S.T.A.R. labs.” Felicity said. 

Diggle sighed. “The cure they sent us was all they had. And they used all the mirakuru we gave them so they can’t make more.”

“We can’t stop Slade’s men without the cure.” Oliver said, still staring out at the carnage.

“We’ll find another way-“ Diggle started.

“There is no other way!” Oliver shook his head, trying to reign in his anger. “The Foundry’s been compromised, we need to get Roy out of there.”

“I’m on it.” 

Oliver heard him leave but didn’t turn around. He could hear Felicity behind him, sniffling, upset. She hadn’t said much since they’d found the courier dead. He had asked if she was okay, and she had nodded but he didn’t believe her. 

“I didn’t know, Felicity.” He said, his voice low and quiet. “Five years ago I was a completely different person, and I had…no idea that something like this was even…possible. I couldn’t have imagined.”

He had no idea where this was coming from, but he couldn’t stand her silence any longer. For some reason, he needed to explain to her, to make her see. 

“When you and Diggle brought me back to Starling City, I made a vow to myself that I would never let anything like the Undertaking happen again.” As he spoke, he kept his back to her, it was easier that way. If he saw the look in her eyes, if she blamed him at all…it would be too much for him to handle. Yet he needed to say this. She was the only one he could really talk to. 

Ever since Slade had revealed himself and his plan, Felicity had found ways to reach him that even Sara hadn’t managed. Everything she’d said to him had struck him deep. She had always known exactly what to say. But now, with the city burning around them, with everything they’d been through, did she now blame him? 

“What’s happening now is not your fault.” She said, her voice weak and tearful as he turned around to face her. The ache in his chest grew bigger when she didn’t look at him. 

“Yes it is.” He replied, walking slowly towards her. “I have failed this city.”

She shook her head, holding trembling fingers to her temple. Still, she wouldn’t look at him. “Yao Fei, Shado, Tommy, my father…my mother. All that I have ever wanted to do, is honour those people.”

Felicity raised her head, tears pooling in her eyes but as Oliver looked, he could see a fire burning there too. “You honour the dead by fighting.”

Oliver closed his eyes, unable to believe her words. How could she believe that none of this was his fault? How could anyone?

“And you are not done fighting!” Felicity raised her voice, dropping her hand as she took a few steps towards him. “Malcolm Merlyn, the Count, the Clock-King, the Triad. Everyone who was trying to hurt this city, you stopped them!”

She stood directly in front of him now. “And you will stop Slade.”

Oliver wanted so badly to believe her, to have faith but he just couldn’t. “I don’t know how.”

“Neither do I. But I do know two things. You are not alone.”

She placed her hand on his forearm. “And I believe in you.”

Oliver stared deeply into her eyes, her words lifting something deep within his heart. It was like a balm to his battered soul. For the past year he had tried so hard to change. He’d made mistakes, he knew that. Roy, Thea, both had told him that they’d believed in him too, and he’d failed them. 

But Felicity was different. She had never judged him. If she disagreed with something, she called him out on it. She never hid what she was feeling. It was refreshing. The passion in her voice and her gaze right now, told him she meant every word. She really did believe in him.

Ever since he’d found out that Slade was out for revenge, he had pushed her away. To keep her safe, he had pretended to be indifferent around her, even cold sometimes. Because he knew that she was the one person he couldn’t bear to lose and if Slade knew that…she would be in even more danger. 

He had almost slipped up when they were at his secret lair. Her speech was so profound and heartfelt and the way she’d held onto his hand, as if she were afraid to let go, he’d felt himself leaning in. His eyes had roamed her face, and in that moment, that one weak moment, he had wanted to kiss her. Instead, he’d walked away. 

Now here she was again, fighting for him. 

Before he could argue or say anything, she threw herself forward and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Closing his eyes, he raised his arm and wrapped it around her waist, drawing strength from her words. He felt the warmth of her body seep into his and in that moment he knew, he knew that she was more important to him than anyone. And that scared him. 

They stood like that for a few moments in silence as the helicopter lights flooded the clock tower. 

“Thank you.” He said, breathing in her scent. She didn’t reply, except to lean against him further and lay her head on his shoulder. 

“Hey…” he said softly, but as he felt her weight pressing against him, he began to grow concerned. “Felicity?”

He frowned as he moved her and then gasped when he realised she was unconscious. “Felicity!”

He hooked his bow onto his back and lifted her into his arms, heading straight for the stairs. “Felicity, open your eyes.”

He felt like such an idiot. He’d seen the pain in her eyes, the way she’d held her head. Her sluggish movements as she’d been talking to him. He should’ve seen this coming. Instead, once again, he’d been too focused on himself to see what was going on right in front of him. 

Once he was out the door, he hit the ground running; Glades Memorial wasn’t far from here. He just hoped the doctors hadn’t abandoned it completely. 

“Stay with me, Felicity. Please.”

To Be Continued...


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I kinda lost the passion for this story a while back, but since the new spoilers came out it has returned with a bang. So...the premise of the story is going to change slightly but nothing that has been written so far is effected.

“Will she be okay?” Oliver asked, hoping the strain in his voice was not entirely obvious. His voice modulator could only hide so much. 

“She was in a car accident, you say?” The doctor asked again, frowning as he gently opened Felicity’s eyes to shine a light in them. 

The doctor, who had only recently tended to the Arrow’s damaged knee with gratitude for what Oliver had done for the hospital, glanced up at him. He stood back in the far corner of the room, hood concealing his face, in the dark, watching him work on Felicity. He nodded his head once, worried that his voice would betray just how scared he was. 

“I need to see what’s going on in there so I’m going to take her up to CT.”

“Is it bad?”

“I don’t know that yet I’m afraid. It could just be a concussion but we won’t know until I do the proper tests. The fact that she lost consciousness again does concern me, it could be a subdural bleed and if that’s the case-“

Oliver stepped forward a little. “A what?”

The doctor turned to face him. “Bleeding on her brain. If that is the case, and I’m not saying that it is, we’ll need to operate to remove the pressure right away.”

Oliver felt the blood drain from his face and it took all the strength he had not to yank his hood down and go to her. But he couldn’t. 

The doctor started pushing Felicity’s bed towards the door. “So the question is; with everything that’s going on around us right now, are you staying? Or are you going?”

Oliver didn’t like the challenge in the man’s voice, it was almost judgemental. But at the same time, he knew he was right. The city was burning, people were dying. He couldn’t ignore that and he knew that Felicity wouldn’t want him to.

In fact, he was sure she’d be pretty mad at him if he did. Yet everything inside of him was screaming for him to stay close to her. To protect her.

He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by his cell phone ringing. 

His mind at war with his heart, Oliver slowly nodded to the doctor and waited until he’d taken Felicity out of the room before answering the call. 

With his anger barely concealed, Oliver spoke first. “What do you want?”

“Same thing you do, Oliver.” Sebastian Blood said. “To save this city before it’s too late.”

“It’s already too late.” Oliver replied, looking out of the window at the city that was still suffering.

Sebastian sighed. “You were right about Slade, I should’ve listened to you. But I’m here now and I can help you.”

The words brought no comfort to Oliver but he was interested in where this was leading. “Why should I trust you?”

“Because Oliver…I have the mirakuru cure.”

Oliver blinked, not expecting that. “Why are you offering your help now?”

“I told you, I want to save the city. Look, believe me or don’t, that’s not really important right now. What is important is that you meet me at my office right now, Slade’s bound to know I have this by now and you need to get there before he does.”

“I’m on my way.” 

Oliver hung up and closed his eyes for a second. He didn’t want to leave Felicity here by herself. But he had to get that cure. It was his only way of stopping this. Of stopping Slade, once and for all. Ignoring the ache in his heart, Oliver knew he had no choice but to go. But he wasn’t going to leave her here alone.

Taking out his other cell, his Arrow phone, Oliver pressed speed dial.

“I was wondering when I’d hear from you.”

“Detective, I need a favour.”

~~~~~~~

 

“Oliver, are you sure this isn’t a trap?” Diggle asked quietly as they entered Blood’s office, stepping over numerous bodies, and both on the lookout for any sign of an ambush. He’d called Digg the second he’d hung up with Lance, and with Roy stashed safely at the clock tower, he needed his help. 

“Nope. But what choice do we have?”

“Good point.” He replied, looking as bad as Oliver felt. His eyes kept scanning the people lying around the office. As if he couldn’t look away. “All I’m saying is; Felicity will be pissed if we end up dead.”

At the mention of her name, Oliver hesitated, closing his eyes for just a second. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, she’ll be okay man. She’s strong, you know that.”

He briefly wondered why Diggle was consoling him when Felicity was as much his friend as she was Oliver’s. 

He nodded once to acknowledge that he’d heard him but said nothing else. They had a job to do and it was dangerous to get distracted. 

As they rounded the corner, they found Sebastian leaning on a cupboard next to the window, looking out at the devastation. Oliver’s eyes shot straight to the silver case lying on his desk. 

Slowly, Sebastian turned to face him as he took his hood down.

“Hello Oliver.”

~~~~~~~

Felicity opened her eyes and immediately slammed them shut again. The light, though dim, hurt her head and she could hear the blood pumping in her ears. She drew in a few deep breaths, trying to ignore the pounding in her skull and focus on where she was. Slowly she cracked one eye open and looked around. Okay, she was in hospital. But why? 

As she tried to sit up, she got her answer. A wave of dizziness hit her so hard she had no choice but to lie back again.

“Miss Smoak? Hey, don’t try to move okay?” She felt a hand touch her shoulder gently and looked up to see a doctor standing over her. His face was familiar and friendly but she couldn’t place it. 

“What happened?”

“You were in a car accident. Do you remember?”

She nodded slowly, trying to keep her head as still as possible. “I mean, how did I get here?”

“The Arrow brought you in. He seemed to be quite worried about you too.” The doctor, whose name she didn’t know, busied himself by checking her eyes again with a torch that made her feel like she was looking directly into the sun. 

“Did he leave?”

“He had to. Though I’m sure he didn’t want to.”

“Okay, I need to go.” She tried to sit up but the doctor quickly pushed her back down. She briefly wondered why he was the only one in a darkened room with her. Where were the nurses? 

“You’re not going anywhere young lady. You have a rather nasty concussion. Fortunately, your scans showed no sign of a bleed, but there is very slight swelling. Concussion is not something to be taken lightly.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “I realise that. Believe me, this is not my first one. Probably won’t be my last either. 

“I promised him that I would take care of you. I don’t think he’d want you running off in your current condition.”

“Him? You mean the Arrow? Wait, you’re the doctor who treated his knee.” Felicity sat up slowly, making sure to keep her movements to a minimum. Once she was upright, she felt a little of the pressure in her head ease off. 

“It was the least I could do. This hospital would not be standing right now if not for him.”

Felicity opened her mouth to say something else but before she could, there was a knock on the door and Detective Lance walked in.

She frowned. “Detective? Is something wrong?”

“Our mutual friend asked me to look in on you.” He explained with a small smile. He looked a little beaten up but there was a steely determination in his eyes that Felicity understood. Tonight was hard for everyone. Her thoughts flew to Oliver, to wherever he was right at that moment and whether or not he was okay. He wouldn’t have left her alone unless something big had happened. 

Lance turned his attention to the doctor. “How’s she doing, doc?”

“She is sitting right here, thank you, and she’s fine. I have a slight concussion-“

“Slight? Try again.” The doctor interrupted. “It’s quite severe…”

She ignored him and carried on, still looking at Lance. “I’m fine. I certainly don’t need to be in a hospital bed while the city tears itself apart. I need to help.”

The doctor, now sounding a little unsure of himself, stepped forward. “Miss Smoak, you were unconscious, twice. That’s not something you should take lightly, head injuries can be very serious.”

Felicity licked her dry lips and forced herself to speak calmly. “I am aware of that, I promise. I’m not about to go out and pick a fight but I need to be…where I need to be.”

“Felicity,” Lance started, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Maybe you should listen to him.”

“Why?”

“Well, for one thing you’re swaying like you’ve been on the vodka all night, and for another, you can barely hold your eyes open. Or were you even aware that you’re currently squinting at me?”

Felicity grimaced. “I’m just not wearing my glasses, that’s all. He needs me. I have to go.”

Her tone was almost pleading but it seemed to have no effect on either the doctor or Lance. So she huffed out a sigh and threw back her covers. “Fine, if you won’t help me, I’ll just find my own way out of here.”

But as soon as her feet touched the ground, she lurched forward and would’ve hit the floor if Lance hadn’t been there to catch her. The whole room tilted and she felt like she was about to throw up at any second. 

Lance sat her back down gently. “Like I said, you’re not going anywhere.”

~~~~~~~~

With the Mirakuru cure safely in his possession, Oliver and Diggle made their way back to Glades Memorial hospital. He knew that Slade was holed up at his own office in Queen Consolidated, but taking the fight to him right now would be suicide. He needed to meet him on neutral ground. But more than that, he needed to check on Felicity. 

“You really think Blood was doing this out of the kindness of his heart?” Diggle’s sceptical tone matched his own thoughts.

“It doesn’t matter. What matters now, is that we have the cure.”

As they raced in the direction of the hospital, Oliver’s com-link started buzzing. It could only be one person and he suddenly found his spirits lifting a little as he pressed on his chest to activate it. “Felicity?”

“Hey, where are you? Are you okay? Are you alone?”

Her rapid-fire questioning reassured Oliver that she was at least going to be okay even if she wasn’t right now. The fact that she hadn’t mentioned either his or Digg’s name meant she wasn’t alone either. “Digg’s with me, we’ve got the cure.”

“Really, how?”

“I’ll tell you later, I’m on my way back to you now. How are you feeling?”

“Like I was in a car accident.” She deadpanned and Oliver winced at the pain in her voice. She didn’t sound like her usual bubbly self, that was for sure. “And the bodyguard you sent is refusing to let me leave.”

Her tone left no room for misinterpretation. He would be hearing about this later. She could yell at him all she wanted; he just hoped there was a later for her to do so. 

“Hey,” he said softly. “Lance is looking out for you because he cares about you.”

“And because you asked him to.”

“Well…I needed to know you were safe while I was gone. I didn’t want to leave you…”

She sighed. “I know, but you can’t afford to think of me right now. We have a city to save.”

As much as he knew that was true, Oliver also couldn’t ignore the fact that he needed to see her too. “I know. I’ll be there soon, just…get some rest. Please.”

“Okay. Hey…”

“Yeah?”

Her voice was starting to sound tired and he could tell she was about to doze off at any moment. “Be careful.” She mumbled.

“We will.”

“I’m just saying, if you guys don’t come back alive, I’m gonna be really pissed.”

Oliver chuckled as he hung up and turned to Diggle, who was frowning with impatience. “Well, how is she?”

Oliver started walking again, a little faster than before, eager to see for himself that she was fine. “She’s going to be okay.”

~~~~~~~~~

 

Slade Wilson sat behind Oliver Queen’s desk, smirking as the call ended. He glanced up from his computer screen to look at Isabel, who seemed to get angrier each time Felicity spoke. The bug he’d planted in her phone had given him the perfect opportunity to track their every move and now he had something even better. 

Oliver Queen cared for Felicity Smoak. From what Isabel had already told him about their alliance and the worry he could so clearly hear in Oliver’s voice, Slade knew. Felicity was the woman he loved.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, this story has been giving me a bit of trouble lately. But hopefully you'll enjoy this :D

The hospital was quiet as Oliver and Diggle walked the long corridor to Felicity’s room. Too quiet. Oliver had expected the place to be crawling with patients, doctors and nurses. But as far as he could see, the entire floor that Felicity was on was abandoned. 

She was fast asleep when they entered, the room shrouded in darkness. Oliver’s gut twisted as he gazed down at the crumpled tissue in her hand and the redness of her eyes. She’d been crying. How long had she been here by herself? 

“Where’s Lance?” Diggle asked.

“Good question, and where’s the damn doctor?” Oliver kept his voice low, but apparently not low enough. Felicity stirred and slowly opened her eyes. Almost immediately, those bright blues focused in on him and even though he could still see the pain there, he could see the relief too. 

“Oliver.” She whispered his name so quietly it was almost a sigh, and he felt a slight tug in his chest as he took her hand in his.

“You’ve been crying…”

She shook her head. “It’s nothing. I just…I can hear them. The people screaming, the city…”

He tilted his head and gave her a sad smile. He couldn’t find the words to tell her it was going to be okay so he settled for the next question on his mind. “How are you feeling?”

She sat up slowly, leaning back against the headboard. “I’m good. Doc gave me some painkillers and anti-sickness meds so I’m ready to get out of here.” 

“You don’t look ready.” Diggle said, taking her other hand, and Oliver could see the concern in his eyes as he studied the bandage on her forehead. 

She smiled. “Nice to see you too, John.”

“Where’s Lance?” Oliver asked as Diggle chuckled and went to the foot of her bed to check her charts. 

“He got a call from Laurel, had to go meet her.” Felicity held up a hand. “Before you ask, she’s fine. I think. All I know is, he told her to stay where she was and he would meet her there.”

Oliver was a little surprised to realise that he hadn’t been about to ask, and that made him feel bad, but right now he had more pressing matters. 

Felicity obviously took his silence to mean something else because she grabbed his hand. “Hey, she’ll be okay. She’ll be with her father.”

He shook his head, how did she keep doing that? Building him up when her own pain was overwhelming her. Once again, the word ‘remarkable’ popped into his head. It was the only way to describe her. 

Her eyes fell on the silver briefcase in Oliver’s other hand. “Is that the cure?”

“Yeah. Blood gave it to us.” 

She glanced up at him warily. “Really? Just like that, no ulterior motive? I can’t imagine the man in the skull mask did all of this just for fun.”

He passed her the briefcase and she opened it carefully, the glow from the vials illuminating her face, and it was only then that Oliver realised just how pale she looked. 

“Felicity…”

“Why does every secret formula have to be a colour?” She murmured as she picked one up to study it. “Whatever happened to good old-fashioned clear?”

She replaced it gently and closed the briefcase back up again. “Okay so, according to S.T.A.R labs, if we inject one of Slade’s soldiers with this, it should counteract the effects of the Mirakuru. 

“We aren’t injecting anyone, you’re staying here.” Oliver said, anticipating her reaction as he stepped back and picked up his bow.

Diggle, who’d been silent while he read her charts, stepped up next to him. “He’s right, Felicity.”

The expression on her face turned from confusion to anger in a split second. “Don’t think for one second that you’re leaving me here.”

“Felicity, you’re hurt-“

“And so are a lot of other people, Oliver. A lot more will also be hurt if we don’t do this now.”

“I don’t want you to-“

“No!” She yelled. “This is not up for discussion. I am coming with you and so help me, Oliver if you don’t take me with you, I will follow on my own.”

Knowing that she would do just that, Oliver let out a growl. “Why do you have to be so stubborn?”

“Why do you have to be so bossy?” she countered. 

“Felicity!”

“Oliver!”

“Okay you two, enough.” Diggle stepped in. “We don’t have time for this right now.”

Felicity nodded and threw back the covers. “You’re right, so let’s get going.”

Oliver watched her collect her things and disappear into the adjoining bathroom, shaking his head. He shot Diggle a glare. “You had to encourage her.”

Diggle shrugged. “She was going either way, man; you know that as well as I do. As much as we want to protect her, the city needs us more right now.” 

It was a harsh truth, but one that Oliver couldn’t disagree with no matter how much he wanted to.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Felicity asked, standing next to Roy’s table, holding onto his hand. The pain in her head was slowly starting to get better, thanks to the pain relievers but her eyes felt so heavy. Once this was over, she planned to sleep for a week.

Oliver flicked a glance at her before returning to his task. “We don’t have a choice, Felicity. You heard what Amanda said.” 

Amanda Waller, leader of A.R.G.U.S, had mobilised her men at each entrance and exit point of the city. The three of them had only just arrived back at the Clock Tower when Lance called, telling Felicity to turn on the news. 

“She is going to level this city unless I can stop Slade and his men. We have to do this.”

“I know but…using Roy as a lab rat? It doesn’t seem right. What if it doesn’t work? What if it kills him? What if he wakes up and kills us?”

Oliver reached out to squeeze her shoulder, she knew it he meant it to be reassuring but right now, all she could focus on was Roy. 

“If I don’t try, he’s dead anyway. We all are.”

She reluctantly nodded and moved to stand at the foot of the table. Oliver filled the syringe with the cure and laid his hand on Roy’s chest as he leaned down to speak in his ear. 

“I’m sorry.”

Felicity could see the conflict in his eyes, the hatred at having to do it. After he pushed the needle into Roy’s shoulder, she stepped forward and grabbed his hand. He didn’t look at her but she felt him squeeze in response. 

“Now what?” she asked, not letting go of Oliver’s hand.

Oliver sighed. “Now we wait.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

It was during an attack on the clock tower that Oliver and his team discovered that the cure worked. Slade’s men had located them, but thanks to the proximity alarms Felicity had set up, they had enough warning to prepare themselves, as much as they could. 

“Talk to me, Felicity!” Oliver yelled, heading towards the window just as the pounding on the door in the floor began. 

“They’re inside, right underneath us.” 

A groaning sound to his right stopped him in his tracks. Roy was standing beside the table he’d been laying on, a dazed expression on his face. 

“Where am I?” he asked. 

Before Oliver had the chance to respond, the trapdoor flew open and a masked man appeared. Roy, without thinking, lunged at him. 

Oliver watched in shock as the punch Roy landed had no effect whatsoever and the thug swept an arm out and knocked a very confused Roy off his feet. Stepping into action, Oliver kicked as hard as he could at the guy’s face until he fell, taking the rest of them with him on his way down. 

He knew it would buy them precious few minutes, so they needed to move fast. As he slammed the door shut, a scream rang out and he turned to see another one reaching through a hole in the floor to grab onto Felicity’s ankle. Her scream reverberated in his head, the terror in it making him feel cornered, trapped. He had to get her out of there. 

Every part of him ached to go to Felicity’s aid, but he heard Diggle yell her name, and the resulting gun shot a second later. So he concentrated on shooting a line out of the window to the street below.

“Down the cable!” he yelled, watching as Diggle pushed Felicity in front of him. 

Oliver stood to the side as Roy went first, closely followed by Diggle who had grabbed the cure on his way. He watched as Felicity carefully climbed out onto the ledge, the fear on her face made his stomach clench. 

Just as he was about to head out after her, the door flew open again and another man appeared. He hit him in the throat with his bow and then, without another thought, he ran for the window. Grabbing Felicity with one arm around her waist, he hooked his bow onto the zipline and propelled them forward. 

After they were safely on the ground, Oliver took a second to check his team. Everyone seemed to be in one piece, but Felicity wasn’t looking so good. 

“Hey, you okay?” he asked, gently sliding his hand down her upper arm. 

She nodded, though she had the same expression on her face as when they did the Merlyn job and had to swing over an elevator shaft. “I’m fine.”

He didn’t believe her for a second, but his attention was diverted by a helicopter that sounded a little too close for comfort. He looked up to see a plain, black helicopter hovering above the clock tower. 

Lyla Michaels, Diggle’s ex-wife, was standing in the open doorway, holding a very large weapon. Oliver knew immediately what it was, and why she was there.

Seconds later the clock tower exploded, taking Slade’s men with it. He felt conflicted, on the one hand, those men needed to be stopped, but on the other, they were just men who didn’t ask for this. Now that he knew the cure worked, they could’ve been saved. 

“Come on, let’s go.” 

“Where?” Felicity asked. 

“The Foundry. We need to get this cure into some darts, and we need to do it now.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

The Foundry was a mess. Felicity’s computers were lying shattered on the ground, sparks shooting from the electrical wires that were hanging from the ceiling, debris everywhere they looked. 

As Diggle, Lyla and Oliver discussed their next plan of action, Felicity and Roy got busy filling every dart arrow they could find with the Mirakuru cure. It was painstaking work and it took all of Felicity’s concentration but it would be worth it if it worked.

She was thankful that the only thing she had to contend with at that moment was a headache, it could’ve been much worse. She knew Oliver had been worried, still was if the lingering glances he kept giving her were any indication. But she wished that he would stop. His focus needed to be on what was happening outside the Foundry, not on her. The last thing she wanted was to become a liability to them. 

“So it seems like I missed a lot.” Roy said quietly, snapping her out of her thoughts. 

She flicked a glance at him as she began filling another arrow. “Well…what do you remember?”

“Leaving town and heading to Bludhaven. I was out cold the whole time?”

She didn’t know what to say. How could she possibly tell him about the terrible things he’d done? 

“Felicity?” The look in his eyes told her that telling him the truth wouldn’t be a great idea. If he knew…if he found out what he’d done, especially to Thea, it would destroy him. 

She nodded. “You were out. The whole time.” 

She closed her eyes for a second, and when she opened them, she saw Oliver staring directly at her. He’d obviously heard what she’d said to Roy because he gave her a slight nod in agreement. 

“Slade has at least fifty or so of those human weapons.” Diggle said, standing up from where he, Lyla and Oliver had been crouching. “We’ll need a whole army if we plan on hitting them with the cure.”

“I know.” A voice said from behind Felicity. She turned just as Diggle and Lyla drew their weapons and Oliver stepped forward. “Which is why an army is what I’ve brought.”

Nyssa Al Ghul and the League of Assassins stood at the bottom of the stairwell, and Sara was with them. No one spoke for a few minutes and the stand-off was starting to make Felicity nervous. 

She stepped forward, right up next to Oliver with an arrow in her hand. “Gee Sara, you could’ve called before inviting…” she counted the men out loud. “Seven assassins into our top secret lair.”

Sara reached out to touch her shoulder but before she could say anything, Oliver spoke up.

“What is she doing here?”

“I asked her to come.” Sara replied, moving away to talk to him. 

Nyssa stepped forward and Felicity’s grip on her arrow tightened. “I’m Nyssa. Daughter of Ra’s Al Ghul. Heir to the demon.”

As nervous as she felt, Felicity refused to let this woman see it. “Felicity Smoak. MIT class of ’09.”

The slight smile on Nyssa’s face didn’t make Felicity feel any more at ease so she backed up a little, closer to Roy who seemed lost at the intrusion. Diggle and Lyla lowered their guns but didn’t put them away, their eyes staying glued to the newcomers. 

Oliver led Sara away and Felicity could only hear snippets of their conversation but it didn’t take a genius to work out what was being said. As Nyssa moved forward, Felicity followed, arrow still in hand. She wasn’t sure what she could actually do if Nyssa tried anything but she wasn’t going to give her a chance either. 

“You may not want my help, Mr Queen. But there is little question you are in desperate need of it.”

“First we need to find Slade’s base of operations.” Sara said.

“Slade Wilson and Isabel Rochev are using your former office building as their base of operations.”

With that, Oliver marched over to Roy as Felicity watched a silent interaction occur between Nyssa and Sara. What exactly were they planning?

After handing Roy a new mask and telling him not to hold back, Oliver turned back to her. “Felicity…”

“I’m coming.”

Sara placed a gentle hand on her arm. “Are you sure? That wound looks nasty.”

Felicity’s irritation grew when she caught the concerned look Sara and Oliver shared. “Look, I appreciate the concern but I am not made of glass, okay? I am a part of this team so will everyone stop treating me as if I’m about to break at any second? I’m not as fragile as you all seem to think!”

Oliver didn’t say anything but she could see that he wanted to argue. She raised her eyebrows at him, daring him to say something. "Fine, but you stay with me. Got it?"

"Got it." she nodded. 

He clearly hated the idea but remained silent. He pursed his lips and turned back to Nyssa and the League. 

“We do this my way.” He growled. 

“The League does not take prisoners.”

“It does tonight.”

To Be Continued...


	4. Chapter 4

 

_“You’ve killed before; tonight I suggest you get back in the habit.”_

Lance’s words hung in the thick air, reverberating off the walls, a constant echo. 

Felicity watched Oliver as he stood staring out of the windows in his office at Queen Consolidated. The attack on Slade did not go well. Isabel was dead, courtesy of Nyssa and Sara, but Slade had escaped. She couldn’t tell what Oliver was thinking, but there was a slump to his shoulders that worried her. Was he giving up again? 

She felt so powerless, could only stand by and watch as Detective Lance stormed in, and demanded that he kill Slade to save Laurel, who’d been taken by him. And now, there he stood, the only movement was the muscle ticking in his jaw. 

Once everyone had cleared the room and they were alone, she stepped forward. “He’s wrong.” 

Oliver turned towards her as she approached. “He’s right.” 

His voice was soft but Felicity could almost hear the defeat and it pained her to realise that her words in the clock tower had had no effect. 

“I’ve lost everything because I’m fighting Slade Wilson with one hand tied behind my back.” His gaze moved to the wall behind her head, almost as if he couldn’t look her in the eye. “The man murdered my mother. I have to kill him.” 

Keeping her voice low, though she wanted to scream at him, Felicity placed her hand on his arm. “You told me you had a choice. That years ago you could’ve cured Slade but you chose to kill him instead. This isn’t happening because you’re not willing to be a killer, it’s happening because you were one.” 

“You’re right. That’s how this started.” His eyes locked onto hers. “It’s how it has to end. The only move he’s left me is to kill him. I can’t cure him, I can’t capture him, I can’t even out-think him.” 

“Then don’t!” She blurted. She shook her head, trying to think of anything she could say, anything that would work. Anything that would pull him back from making yet another mistake that she knew in her heart he would regret. 

She knew he’d taken lives before, but each time he did, no matter how much he hid it, she knew that it had stripped away little pieces of himself. In the time since Tommy’s death, she’d seen him grow, to try harder to be better. She was proud of what he had achieved. That he seemed to be enjoying making a difference in the city without a huge body count trailing behind him. 

But it didn’t erase the things he’d already done. He carried enough guilt about that to last him a lifetime. He didn’t need to add more to it. 

“Make him out-think you instead.” 

Oliver blinked. “What do you mean?” 

“I mean that you should come up with a plan to make him think that you aren’t aware of what his next move is going to be. Trick him into thinking that Laurel isn’t the woman you love.” 

She saw the moment it dawned on him. “No.” 

“Oliver, we don’t have time to argue about this. Slade’s men are trying to escape the city, Waller is planning on destroying it, and Slade has _Laurel_.” 

“You want me to willingly put you at risk? Because I’m assuming that’s what you’re saying.” He looked at her as if she’d just slapped him across the face. “How can you even ask me to do that?” 

She stepped a little closer and put both hands on his upper arms. “I’m not asking. We have to do this.” 

Oliver shook his head violently and pulled himself out of her grasp. “No, I’m not talking about this. It’s not happening. I will find another way but you are not going to be a part of it.” 

“Oliver…” 

“Don’t you get it? I’ve tried so hard to keep you away from danger, to keep you safe. I _cannot_ do that, Felicity. I won’t.” 

She huffed out an exasperated sigh. “Then what are you planning to do?” 

He was silent for a few moments and she could practically see the cogs turning in his head. Then he raised his eyes to hers. 

“I know what I have to do.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Oliver, what are we doing here, the whole city’s falling apart.” 

He closed the door of his family home behind him and grabbed her arm as they started walking. “I know.” 

It was strange coming back here with it being so dark and empty. His family home, taken from him, along with everything else he loved. He stopped in front of the fireplace and glanced down at Felicity. Well, almost everything. 

“You need to stay here.” 

“What?” He could see the confusion in her eyes but he could also see the large head wound and that fueled his reasoning for this more than anything else. She was already hurt, he would not allow anything more to happen to her. 

“Why? You can’t just ask me to-“ 

“I’m not asking.” He cut in, throwing her own words back at her. “I will come and get you when this is all over.” 

“No!” 

“Felicity.” He warned as he walked away, but she kept following him so he stopped and turned back. 

“No, not unless you tell me why.” 

He drew in a deep breath. How could he tell her? He’d tried so hard to hide it, to keep her safe. If Slade never knew, she could never be in danger. It had worked so far. But there were only so many chances he was willing to take and by knowing she was at the mansion, he would be able to focus on taking down Slade. 

“I need you to be safe.” 

“I don’t want to be safe; I want to be with you.” He closed his eyes against the wave of emotion that came with her words. “And the others, unsafe.” 

“I can’t let that happen.” He leaned in a little closer and placed his hands on her shoulders. “You have to stay here.” 

She frowned. “I don’t understand, I’ve been with you this whole time and now you’re side-lining me?” 

“Felicity…” He said her name so softly, the way he always said it whenever he was trying to convey his innermost thoughts to her. He needed her to understand. “This is my fight, I don’t want you involved. I need you here so that I can concentrate out there and I can’t do that if you’re not safe.” 

“Since when? Look, I know I’m not a trained assassin or a bodyguard ex-soldier, but I can hold my own.” Unshed tears shone in her bright blue eyes. 

He’d hurt her, that was not his intention. His hand dropped from her arm to grasp her hand tightly. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.” 

“Then what did you mean? You’re being so cryptic.” 

He moved his other hand to cup her cheek, staring directly into her eyes. “Felicity, I…” 

“What?” she prodded, her frustration mounting. “Oliver…what’s going on?” 

She sounded so confused and he couldn’t stand it any longer. Drawing some air deep into his lungs, he let it out slowly. “Slade took Laurel because he wants to kill the woman I love.” 

She frowned. “I know. So?” 

“So he took the wrong woman.” 

The air fell silent; the only sound was that of their ragged breaths as Felicity frowned up at him. She didn’t get it, he could see that she was trying to process his words and coming up blank. 

This whole evening had been a downward spiral, each event worse than the last, and the only thing that had pulled him back from the brink was Felicity. How could she not know what she meant to him? 

Letting instinct take over, he moved in and leaned his forehead against hers. “I love you.” 

Her head reared back away from him, eyes wide, her mouth a perfect ‘o’ shape. “Oh.” 

“Do you understand?” he asked, needing to be sure. 

Her voice, almost a whisper, cracked a little. “Yes.” 

A tiny, relieved sigh escaped him as he trailed his thumb over her knuckles. “So you see why I need you here.” 

She nodded. “Just…” 

“What?” 

She licked her lips, something she always did when she was nervous, he realised. 

“Please be careful. Don’t leave me here for too long.” 

“Felicity…” He trailed off, not knowing what to say. He’d blurted his feelings out and now that they were out in the open, he felt different, almost lighter. “I’ll always come back for you.” 

He started to walk away, her hand holding onto his much as it did earlier that day. Slowly his hand slid out of her grasp and he couldn’t bring himself to look back at her, because he knew if he did, he wouldn’t be able to leave her there by herself. 

As he reached for the door handle, he took a moment to steady himself, to take stock of what he was about to do. He had to end this tonight. Somehow, for the last time, he had to stop Slade Wilson.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

The fight in the tunnel was one of the longest and toughest Oliver had ever been through. With the help of Nyssa, and a couple of her fellow League of Assassins, Sara, Roy, and various others, they had managed to cure most of Slade’s men. All of whom were now unconscious. It could’ve been a very different ending if Nyssa had decided not to listen to his rules though. 

He prayed that Diggle and Lyla had managed to convince Amanda Waller to call off her attack. The city was now safe. The only problem that remained was Slade. 

As he climbed onto the hood of a nearby taxi, Oliver’s comm buzzed. Assuming it could only be Diggle or Felicity, he pressed to activate it. “Go!” 

“You’ve been busy, kid.” Slade’s voice, dark and dangerous, came through. 

“It’s over, Slade. Your army is broken.” He growled. 

“And I pity them. But once again, you miss the point. I have the one you love.” 

Oliver squeezed his eyes shut, the guilt of leaving Laurel with Slade all this time, weighing heavily on him. 

“You’re going to meet me, where I say. Otherwise I am going to kill her.” 

He couldn’t afford to give Slade anymore leverage than he already had. “You do what you have to do. I’m done playing your games.” 

“You’re done when I say you’re done!” Slade yelled, stopping Oliver short. “I was surprised, I thought you had a thing for stronger women.” 

Oliver frowned, wondering where he was going with this. Slade knew that Oliver knew about Laurel, so why…? His heart froze as he listened, fear clogging up his throat. 

“Now that I’ve met her, I can see the appeal.” 

His eyes widened, and he couldn’t swallow past the lump in his throat. 

He heard Slade draw his sword, the same sword that had killed his mother, and his blood turned to ice. _No, not her. Please not her._ How would he have even known to go looking for her? 

Then Slade spoke the words that Oliver had been dreading. 

“She is quite lovely…your Felicity.” 

“Slade-“ 

Slade didn’t even give him a chance, he cut him off. “You are going to meet me, kid. Or you know I will kill her.” 

Oliver clenched his fists. Slade had Felicity. How, he didn’t know but that didn’t matter. He had to get her back.  

“Where?” 

After he told him where to meet him, Oliver hung up and jumped back down to the street. 

“Ollie? What is it?” Sara asked as he hunched over, trying to catch his breath. He felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him and it had nothing to do with the fight he'd just been in. 

“He took her.” 

“What? I know, he has Laurel…” 

“No,” Oliver stood up and looked at Sara. “He took Felicity.” 

“What? When?” 

“I took her to the mansion, I thought she’d be safer there.” _I should never have left her alone_. 

Sara must've seen the guilt forming because she reached out to squeeze his arm. “Hey, this isn’t your fault.” 

“I have to get her back. Get them both back.” 

Sara stepped back so that Nyssa and Roy were standing beside her. “Well you’re not doing it alone.” 

“No, I can’t. It has to be me. He’ll kill her if anyone else tries to come with me.” 

Sara’s face changed instantly. Gone was the woman he knew, replaced with the assassin she’d been trained to be. “Laurel is in there, Ollie. If you think I’m not going with you, think again.” 

He wasn’t going to win an argument with her, and he didn’t have time to try. So he nodded. “Okay, but you stay out of sight. I go in alone.”

 

_**To Be Continued**_...


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so a few things to remember in this chapter. No, Oliver wasn't aware of the cameras in the mansion and there was no 'ruse' either. This chapter deviates slightly from what we saw on the show but after this one we will begin to move into the AU realm of things.

Slade’s voice droned in her ear, low and menacing. He was holding her in front of him, sword poised, talking to an invisible person. She knew who he was talking to and her heart kicked in her chest, Oliver was here. 

As Oliver moved closer to them, Slade’s hand tightened around her throat. Felicity felt a wave of relief so strong when she saw him round the corner, his eyes glued to Slade. He didn’t look at her and it was because she knew that he couldn’t. He needed to focus.

There was a look of angry determination on his face, his jaw clenched, his eyes focused. But it was in his eyes that Felicity saw the truth of his emotions. Panic. Fear. Everything that she was feeling, staring right back at her. 

She'd been so scared, being left alone in that cold, empty mansion, but that didn't even compare to the fear she’d felt when she'd realised she was no longer alone. Slade hadn't come to take her himself, he’d sent one of his goons and even though she'd tried, she hadn't stood a chance against him. 

She’d known that Oliver would come for her, but what would it cost him to do so? She was afraid for him. Slade was strong, he had so much anger driving him. Even now the rage in his voice was barely contained. 

“Drop the bow, kid.” Slade said, holding the blade of his sword higher as Oliver approached. 

Felicity couldn’t stop the little whimper escaping her as the cold, sharp metal pressed against her skin. Oliver’s eyes tracked Slade’s every move and Felicity wanted to shield him from seeing this. The very same blade used to kill his mother, now resting against her throat. 

“Do it.” 

Slowly, Oliver complied, lowering his bow to the ground, never once taking his eyes off Slade. Felicity noticed that he had left the arrow ready to shoot as soon as he could pick it back up again. Always prepared. 

Behind her she could hear Laurel being dragged into the room, her scared cries, and Felicity had to close her eyes against the realisation that Slade was about to make Oliver choose between them. The same way he made him choose between his mother and his sister. 

“Yes, countless nights dreaming, of taking from you all that you took from me.” 

“By killing the woman I love.” Oliver stated but his tone worried Felicity. He sounded calm, too calm. 

His eyes flicked to Laurel, then back to Felicity, and his words in the mansion came flooding back to her. But did he really mean them? He’d been through so much in the past week, how could she be sure? 

“Yes.”

“Like you loved Shado. You see her, don’t you?” 

Slade stilled, the blade no longer pressing into her flesh but still close. Oliver was getting to him. 

“What does she look like in your madness, Slade?” 

Slade glanced slightly to his right and pushed Felicity down to her knees on the ground. Her eyes tracked the sword as he moved to stand in front of her. 

“What does she say to you?” Oliver kept going. “I remember her being beautiful, young, kind. She’d be horrified by what you’ve done in her name.” 

“What I have done. What I have done, is what you lack the courage to do. To fight for her!” he shouted. 

Felicity shivered as Slade turned back to her, his sword now running along the back of her neck. 

“So when _her_ body lies at your feet, her blood wet against your skin. Then you will know how I feel!” 

“I already know how you feel! I know what it’s like to hate, to want revenge. But this…all of this, it won’t bring Shado back!” 

Felicity couldn’t take this anymore, her heart was pounding in her chest, her head felt like a lead weight, but what hurt the most was the look in Oliver’s eyes. He didn’t know what to do. 

Slowly she stood up. “It’s okay, Oliver.” 

Oliver blinked and looked at her. “What?” 

“It’s going to be okay.” 

Oliver shook his head vehemently. “Felicity…no.” 

It killed her to hear that fear in his voice. But it was now or never. She turned around to face her captor. His wide grin sickened her. “This has to end.” 

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” Slade said, raising his sword. Before he could strike, Felicity lunged, pulling her hand from her pocket and jabbing a cure dart straight into his neck. 

Everything seemed to happen in a blur after that, Slade yelled out and staggered backwards as the cure entered his bloodstream. Oliver grabbed his bow and the next thing Felicity knew, Sara was standing next to her, grabbing her arm. The goon that had been holding Laurel was on the ground. 

“Get them out of here!” Oliver yelled, leaping into action. 

Sara ushered her and Laurel towards the door but Felicity pulled against her. “We can’t just leave him!” 

Sara whirled back to face her. “Felicity, we have to go. This is Oliver’s fight. He needs to know that you’re safe if he’s going to win, do you understand me?” 

Felicity wondered for a second if Sara somehow knew what he’d said to her at the mansion but she quickly dismissed the idea. Hearing those words again made her move, and it took everything she had not to turn back, but she left with Sara and Laurel. 

Outside the facility, they waited. Sara stood guard while Laurel sat down on the cold concrete. Felicity was too worried to sit.

“This isn’t right, Sara. You need to help him.” 

For the first time that night, Sara removed her mask and turned to Felicity. Her expression was soft and understanding. “Slade is cured now, Felicity. You did a good thing. Oliver can beat him, I know he can.” 

“What if he can’t?” Laurel asked, giving a voice to the very fear Felicity held. 

Before she could respond, sounds of the fight broke out above them and Felicity looked up to see Oliver and Slade close to the edge of the roof. Her heart felt like it was beating in her throat as she watched blow upon blow rain down on Oliver. 

As a drone flew over their heads, heading towards the city, Felicity saw Slade grab Oliver by the throat, holding him so close to the edge. 

“Oliver!” Without thinking, Felicity bolted for the door. Ignoring Sara and Laurel’s pleas, she headed for the roof, stopping only when she reached the door at the top of the stairs. 

She drew in a few deep breaths when she saw that they were no longer near the edge but Slade was still winning. Oliver was on the ground, struggling to get back up.

“Come on, Oliver.” She whispered to herself. “You can do this.” 

He scrambled to his feet, and without pausing, he lunged at Slade, throwing him off the ledge they were on and down towards the concrete pillars. But Slade was ready for him, and as he jumped down; Slade stood and kicked him into the pillar. 

Felicity closed her eyes, willing Oliver the strength to keep going. To keep fighting. When she opened them, Oliver had turned the tables on Slade. He punched him hard, throwing him back against the pillar, and Oliver saw his opportunity. He quickly grabbed an arrow and took his shot, then another in quick succession. In the blink of an eye, thick wire spiraled around Slade, pinning him to the pillar. 

“You can kill me, or not.” Slade said. “Either way, I win.” 

As Felicity started running towards them, she heard Oliver talking to someone.

“Amanda, it’s over, call off your drones!” 

Nothing happened, the drone was still heading for one of the tallest buildings in Starling. “Amanda, it’s over! Slade is down, call off your drones now!” 

Less than thirty seconds later, the drone changed its course and Oliver sagged to his knees, his energy all but spent. 

“Oliver!” 

His head whipped round as she got close, landing hard on her knees right in front of him. Ignoring the flaring pain from bone meeting concrete, she studied his face. “Are you okay?” 

She couldn’t quite read his expression, there was anger there but she wasn’t sure why. “Felicity, what are you-?” 

He didn’t get a chance to finish his question because she threw her arms around his neck and held him so tight she thought she might break him. 

She was unaware that there were tears streaming down her face until he pulled back and swept a thumb over her cheek, wiping them away. 

“Hey…” he said softly. “It’s over. I’m okay.” 

“You don’t look okay.” She sniffed, her hands running over his torso, shoulders, arms, checking for any injuries. His face was covered in wounds but that seemed to be the worst of it. That and his knee. “Are you hurt? We should get you to the hospital, you should-” 

“Felicity…” He cupped her face to stop her rambling. “I’m okay.” 

His eyes locked onto hers and Felicity felt something pass between them. The same thing had happened at the mansion earlier, neither spoke but they never looked away from each other. 

“How sweet.” Slade drawled, breaking them out of their moment. Felicity had almost forgotten he was still there. Oliver slowly stood up, pushing her behind his frame. Protecting her even when there was no threat. But with Slade right there, he was obviously taking no chances. 

“I would never have thought that he’d get over Laurel.” Slade continued, his voice taunting as he looked at Felicity. “I don’t think a day went by that he didn’t look at that photo of her. He pined for her the entire time I knew him. It was pathetic.” 

“You never really knew him, Slade.”

“Felicity…” Oliver warned, his hand pressing into her hip to keep her behind him. 

But Slade was no longer a threat, so she stepped out from behind Oliver, holding onto his hand because she knew there was no way he was letting her go. “You let your anger destroy you. Your hate brought you to this moment.” 

Slade chuckled. “I can see why you like this one, kid.” 

“You wanted to punish him for something he had no control over. He loved Shado, but you couldn’t see that.” Felicity scoffed. “Your hatred started because you were in love with Shado yet she chose Oliver.” 

Slade’s cruel grin fell. “And what would you know about it? You weren’t there, and I doubt that he had the courage to tell you what he really did. If he did, you wouldn’t look at him the same way.” 

“Felicity, that’s enough.” Oliver said, pulling on her hand. But she held still. 

“He doesn’t need to tell me. Whatever happened on that island should stay on that island. He is not that person anymore.” 

“How do you know?” Slade asked, his grin slowly returning. “Deep down, he’ll always be a killer. You should listen to me, love. One of these days it will be you, and your blood will be on his hands.” 

Oliver surged forward, hitting Slade with every ounce of strength he had left, rendering him unconscious. Breathing heavily, he turned back to face Felicity. 

“Don’t let him get to you, Oliver. He can’t hurt you anymore.” 

She could see in his eyes that Slade’s words had hit their intended mark. But in true Oliver fashion, he changed the subject before she could say anything. “We should go. Amanda is sending a team in to retrieve him.” 

She sighed, knowing nothing she could say now would have any effect. She raised his arm up and over her shoulder, helping him limp towards the door. Glancing back at Slade, Felicity hoped that this was the end of it. Now maybe Oliver could put the past that had haunted him for so long to rest.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

He sat in the dark, waiting. The last few days played through Oliver’s mind like a movie reel and though it was painful, he knew he needed to face it. His mother’s death, the fight with Slade, Felicity…all of it. 

He heard Slade stirring and sat up straighter, ready to face him one last time. 

“Where am I?” Slade asked, slowly getting up from the cot he had been lying on. 

“As far away from the world as I could get you. Where you can’t hurt anyone ever again.” 

Slade groaned as he straightened himself up and Oliver realised that behind those bars, he looked…smaller somehow. Without the Mirakuru, he was less formidable. 

“That’s your weakness, kid. You don’t have the guts to kill me.” 

“No, I have the strength to let you live.” 

Slade stared at him. “Oh you’re a killer. I know, I created you. You’ve killed plenty.” 

“Yes, I have. You helped turn me into a killer when I needed to be one. And I’m alive today because of you.” 

“And does your precious Felicity know all of this? How much, I wonder, did you really tell her?” 

At the mention of Felicity, Oliver stood up. Just hearing Slade speak her name made him angry. “I made it home because of you. I got to see my family again. But over the past year I’ve needed to be more, and I faltered.” 

His mind immediately flew back to all the times he had killed since leaving the island. All the regret, the pain. But then he thought of Felicity, and Diggle. Both of them had helped him become the man he was today. He sighed, realising that there was one other who had helped him too. “But I stopped you. Without killing.” 

Slade was silent as Oliver approached the bars. “You helped me become a hero, Slade. Thank you.” 

As Oliver turned to leave, Slade slammed his fists against the bars. “You think I won’t get out of here? That I won’t kill every person you’ve ever cared for.” 

“No, I don’t. Because you’re in purgatory.” 

Oliver closed the door behind him and began climbing up the ladder, Slade’s voice yelling about promises dimming as he reached the top. He let the door slam down, locking Slade inside one of ARGUS' maximum security prisons, and the weight that he’d been carrying for so long lifted. He felt…lighter. 

He turned around and saw Felicity and Diggle waiting for him on the beach. He drew in a deep breath, and began his descent down to them. 

They started walking just as he caught up to them. Felicity clapped him on the back. “Well, you did it.” 

He glanced down at her. “I had help.” 

She smiled at him but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. He was worried about her, she looked so tired, and he was still concerned about her head wound. She seemed okay, but he knew she wasn’t being completely honest with him about it. 

“I’m still mad at you, by the way.” He said softly, nudging her shoulder with his. 

“What for?” 

“For the little stunt you pulled with the cure dart.”

She shrugged. “It worked, didn’t it?” 

He nodded but turned serious for a second. “Felicity, I’m so sorry he took you. I never wanted you to get caught in the crossfire. I thought you were safe at the mansion.” 

“You weren’t to know, Oliver. It’s not your fault. I keep telling you that.” 

“What were you thinking though? Standing up to Slade like that. It was brave but…he could’ve killed you.” 

“But he didn’t. I’m still here.” 

Diggle stopped and cleared his throat to get their attention. “Why don’t I give you two a minute?”

Without waiting for an answer, he started walking away and Felicity moved around to stand in front of Oliver. 

“Oliver, I…” She trailed off, looking both sad and shy at the same time. 

“What is it?” 

“I just want you to know that…I don’t hold it against you.” 

He frowned. “Hold what against me?” 

“What you said? At the mansion. You and me, I mean, talk about unthinkable.” 

Wait, did she think he didn’t mean what he’d said? “Felicity-“ 

“I know that things have been happening so quickly for you recently, your mom and Thea, and…Sara. I understand that you need to take some time to sort through all of that.” 

Suddenly he knew what she was doing. She was giving him an out, letting him know that she didn’t expect anything from him. The only problem was that he didn’t exactly know how to move forward from here. What would happen if he told her the truth, would they date? Would they be together? Then what, would they live happily ever after? 

As much as he wanted to believe that, there was still a lot of work to be done. The depth of his feelings for her scared him a little. Yes, he loved her, but was that enough? Was he enough for her? 

He snapped himself out of his thoughts as she came to the end of one of her rambles and he couldn’t help but smile. She was just adorable when she did that. 

She shook her head. “I just want you to know that…whatever happened on this island, you’re still my Oliver. I mean, not _my_ Oliver but…you know what I mean. Nothing can change that, okay?” 

He smiled and nodded back. “Okay.” 

“Come on, let’s go home.”

He watched her walk away from him and he felt conflicted. He wanted so badly to just grab her and kiss her right there, but something held him back. It wasn’t the right time, and somehow, Felicity knew that too. He shouldn’t have been surprised, she seemed to know everything that was going through his mind sometimes, it was almost eerie. 

But there was still a tiny little thought nagging at him. He couldn’t bear the idea that she thought he hadn’t meant what he’d said. He raced to catch up with her. 

“Felicity.” 

“Yeah?” 

Taking her hand in his, he walked with her back towards the plane. “Just so you know, you and I…it was never unthinkable.”

 

_**To Be Continued...** _

 


	6. Chapter 6

**__ **

 

**_Three Months Later…_ **

 

“You guys are on a roll this week.” Felicity said, turning away from her computer monitors in the Foundry as Roy, Diggle and Oliver walked in. “That’s four so far and it’s only Wednesday.”

“Criminals are running scared.” Diggle said, hovering over the large computer monitor in the centre of the Foundry while Felicity crossed another one off the list. “The Arrow is certainly cleaning up.”

“Keep this up and we’ll all be out of a job.” She laughed.

“That’s the idea.” Oliver said, his tone serious as he locked eyes with Felicity. He smiled and walked over to her, looking over her shoulder at the monitor. “Laurel’s going to have a lot of work to do this week.”

Felicity tried to ignore the heat of his presence but he was standing so close to her. And he was so oblivious; it was almost infuriating. Over the past few months, she had felt them growing closer. With the crime rate in Starling slowly dropping, Oliver seemed to be more at ease, happier even. She was seeing a different side of him and the more she saw, the more she wanted.

Neither of them had brought up the subject of their conversation at the mansion since it happened. She knew that something was there but she was too afraid to ask him. She had given him the opportunity on the beach and while he didn’t take back what he’d said, he didn’t act on it either. So it was a kind of unspoken agreement that they just carry on as normal.

“What’s that?” His voice startled her out of her thoughts and she looked up to see that Diggle and Roy were now over on the other side of the Foundry. That wasn’t by accident; they’d been doing that a lot lately too.

She moved to stand next to him at her desk. “It’s a fern. It thrives in low light.”

He looked confused but she could see the corners of his mouth lifting into a soft smile.

“I just figured since you’re basically living down here now, the place could do with a little sprucing.”

“I let you buy me a bed.” He grinned.

“You were sleeping on the floor.” She countered. Again, their eyes met and Felicity could still feel that heat pass between them. It only seemed to be getting stronger. But she knew that it didn’t really mean anything, they were just growing closer because their bond had grown since the whole Slade thing.

He glanced sideways at her before looking back at the plant. “Felicity, it’s a Foundry. Cold, damp…I wouldn’t even know how to take care of this.”

“Good thing I picked a plant that needs very little care then huh? Seriously, Oliver. You think I don’t know you by now?” She chuckled, nudging him in the ribs with her elbow before stepping around him to grab her purse.

“You’re heading out?” If she didn’t know better, Felicity would think he sounded disappointed.

“Well since you no longer pay my bills, I have to earn a living elsewhere.” She said with a chuckle, and then grimaced. “That came out wrong. You know what I mean.”

He had a thoughtful expression on his face and Felicity would’ve given anything at that moment to know what was going through that head of his.

“So…are we still on for tonight?”

She nodded, slipping her purse strap over her shoulder. “Of course. You’re bringing the wine though.”

“I wouldn’t dream of turning up without it.” He opened his mouth to say something else but hesitated.

“Don’t worry; I am going to turn you into corporate master of the universe. Those board members are going to be begging to sell Queen Consolidated back to you and your backers.”

He sighed as he stared down at her. “I’m not worried about that.”

But something still seemed to be bothering him and she couldn’t stop herself from placing her hands on his cheeks, staring directly into his eyes.

“We’ll get your family’s company back where it belongs, I promise.”

He nodded. “Do you need a ride home from work later? I could pick you up.”

She shook her head. “I’m good, I have my car. I’ll see you later, don’t be late.”

She walked away, unable to resist looking back, only to see him still watching her and smiling.

Oliver let out a small sigh as he turned back to see Diggle and Roy watching him with a knowing smile. “What?”

Roy raised his eyebrows and chuckled as he walked past him. “Hey, if you don’t know, I’m not gonna spell it out, man. I’m going to do a quick patrol.”

“Hey,” Oliver called, stopping him for a second. “You did good tonight.”

Roy nodded and headed for the stairs while Diggle came to stand next to Oliver.

“Something to say, Digg?” Oliver asked, though he already knew what was on the older man’s mind. His smile said everything.

“When are you actually going to bite the bullet and ask her out?”

There it was. Oliver had been skirting around the issue for the past three months, knowing that once he made a move, things would change and he wasn’t sure he was ready for that. They had grown so much closer and he didn’t want to do anything to jeopardise that.

He blew out a small breath. “It’s not the right time.”

Diggle nodded, an understanding yet amused expression on his face. “There’s never going to be a ‘right time’ Oliver. Things are as good around here as they’re ever going to be. You love her, you even told her that.”

“I-“ Oliver stopped, there was nothing he could respond to that with. He shook his head. “It’s just not the right time, Digg. Besides, I’m not exactly that much of a catch at the moment.”

“So? Do you think Felicity cares about any of that?” Diggle asked softly.

“I know, I just…I need a little more time.”

“Don’t wait too long, man. A girl like Felicity…” He let the sentence hang, but Oliver knew what the end of it was.

“I know, John.” Oliver replied.

Diggle nodded and clapped him on the shoulder as he left, leaving Oliver alone with his thoughts.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

“So, looking at these numbers all you have to do is…Oliver are you even listening to me?”

Oliver blinked and focused his attention back on the papers littering the coffee table in front of them. But sitting on Felicity’s couch in her home with her thigh pressed against his was distracting. All he could think about was how soft her voice was, how pretty she looked with her hair let loose from its usual ponytail. Yes, he was definitely distracted.

“Of course I’m listening.”

She threw him a doubtful look but carried on. “The numbers aren’t what’s really important. I mean yes, they’re important but the board members are looking for those Queen family values that your father and even your mother used to possess.”

He frowned, reaching for his glass of wine. He wasn’t really a fan of red, but it was Felicity’s favourite. “What do you mean?”

“Well, Queen Consolidated has always been a family company. You once told me that when you came back from the island, your mother wanted you to take your place within the company.”

“That’s right.”

“So, that’s what you need to focus on.”

Oliver found himself staring at her while she looked at the papers. She was so invested in this; helping him get his family’s company back seemed to be just as important to her as it was to him. It was…sweet. And very much like Felicity.

“Oliver?”

He snapped back to reality to see her staring at him curiously. “Hmm?”

She chuckled and picked up her almost empty wine glass to take a sip. “Seriously, where is your head right now? You need to focus on this.”

He nodded and leaned forward towards the coffee table. “You’re right, I’m sorry.”

Felicity watched him for a couple of minutes until she was sure that he was taking it seriously, and then leaned forward with him. Her bare shoulder was touching his and it took all of his concentration not to react to it.

It was Diggle’s fault that he was so distracted, his words had been playing on a constant loop in Oliver’s mind since he’d left the Foundry earlier. _Bite the bullet and ask her out_.

And though Oliver wanted to, he wasn’t quite sure how. This wasn’t just some woman; this was Felicity. Every date he’d ever been on in his past- and there had been a lot- seemed easy in comparison to this. He couldn’t afford to mess this up. She was too important to him.

“Okay,” her voice brought him back to the present. “So we’ve established that the numbers aren’t what’s going to help you with this. I mean let’s face it; you’re not exactly qualified to run this company.”

Her face fell as she realised what she’d just said and Oliver couldn’t help but smile. She really was adorable sometimes.

She turned her whole body towards him. “What I mean is…you care about the company, you care about the people that work there. So that’s what you have to convey. You’ve gotta speak from the heart.”

She placed her hand on his chest, right over his heart and patted lightly. Oliver’s breath hitched in his throat and before he could stop himself, his own hand came up to cover hers.

 _Speak from the heart **.**_ He could do that. She was frowning at him, at his hand holding hers against his chest. “Felicity…”

Something in his expression must’ve caught her attention because her smile faded and her eyes took on a cautious look.

“Would you like to go out to dinner with me?” He’d never been one to believe in all that ‘butterflies in the stomach’ nonsense, but right now, with a churning in his own, he had to admit there might be some truth to it after all.

Felicity smiled, looking almost relieved as she pulled her hand back. “I thought we were staying here to eat. I mean, we’re kinda busy here. But we can order take-out if you really want.” She rubbed her palms up and down the length of her skirt. “Ooh, we could order from that new Italian place, I love Italian-“

“Felicity.” He grabbed her hand again and held it between both of his. The nerves were beginning to kick in now and he had no idea why. “I-“

She held up a hand to stop him. “I’m trying really hard not to read too much into this, Oliver. But are you asking me out?”

“Well…”

“On a date, like a _date_ date?”

She looked so confused, her eyes wide, her expression the exact same as the one she’d had on the beach three months before. He couldn’t stand it any longer. He dropped her hand and reached out to cup her face. He didn’t think about it, he just let instinct take over.

Their lips touched, softly at first, delicately. He half expected her to pull away, but she didn’t, and it strengthened his resolve. He raised his hand to her other cheek, framing her face and as she tilted her head, he deepened the kiss.

Her hands were holding onto his wrists, as if she were afraid to let go, and it was only when he felt her fingertips digging into his flesh that he snapped back to reality.

Slowly, he ended the kiss, pulling back to open his eyes. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes glossy, but the most important thing to him right then was that she was smiling.

At least he hadn’t screwed that up. He honestly had no idea what he would’ve done if she’d pulled away from him. In hindsight, kissing her had probably not been the best thing to do, but he couldn’t help himself.

It seemed that once he’d made the decision to ask her out, in that split second, all the feelings he’d been denying for so long came rushing in. It was almost overwhelming in its intensity.

Oliver shook his head and smiled. This had not gone at all how he’d thought it would. His smile fell as he looked into her eyes. “Felicity, would you like to go to dinner with me?”

Felicity licked her lips and nodded. “Yes, I would love to.”

A rush of nervousness went through him but he pushed it down. “Great.”

“Great.” She repeated, smiling broadly, as she sipped the last of her wine and returned her attention to the documents. “Okay, Mr Queen, let’s get your company back.”

~~~~~~~~~~

_“Do you want me to just meet you at the restaurant? Because that’s totally fine. I don’t mind.”_

Oliver chuckled as he read the text from Felicity; he could practically hear her rambling in his head. Not bothering to reply, he pocketed his phone and raised his hand to knock on her door. Right on time.

 _An actual date. With Felicity._ It seemed so surreal and he wasn’t entirely sure how they’d gotten to this point. But he was glad that they had.

The second the door opened, Oliver’s mouth went dry.

“You’re here. I thought you were running late.” She said, her voice a little breathy.

Oliver swallowed hard, his eyes doing an involuntary sweep of her entire body. The red dress she was wearing was captivating. It clung perfectly to her body, making her curves stand out more than they normally did. It was elegant, classy, everything that Felicity was.

“Oliver? Are you okay?”

His eyes snapped up from her legs. “Hmm? I’m fine. Sorry, you just uh…” He slowly released the breath that he’d been holding since she’d opened the door. “You look amazing, Felicity.”

A faint blush worked its way up her cheeks. “Thank you. You’re not so bad yourself.”

She’d seen him in a suit and tie a thousand times, that was nothing new. But tonight, with her golden hair flowing in waves around her shoulders and her face free of her glasses, Oliver thought that she had never looked more beautiful.

He held out his arm. “You ready?”

“Absolutely.” She grabbed her purse and stepped outside, locking the door behind her. When she turned, Oliver still had his arm outstretched, so she smiled shyly and hooked her hand around the crook of his elbow.

“So where are we going?”

He glanced down at her. “I thought we’d try Italian. You like Italian right? Everyone likes Italian.” He paused and grimaced. “Though I just remembered that you told me you love Italian last night.”

He shook his head. _Smooth **,** Oliver_.

She chuckled, whether at his rambling or her nerves, he wasn’t sure. “I love Italian.”

“Good. I thought, since it isn’t far from here, that we could walk.” She stared up at him in question and he suddenly felt a little unsure. “I just uh…I thought that it would give us time to talk.”

She pursed her lips and nodded. “Well, since talking is what I do best...when I’m not rambling, that is, let’s walk.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, it’s a nice night.”

They fell into a somewhat comfortable silence as they walked, Felicity still holding onto Oliver’s arm, walking slowly as if they had all the time in the world. He wondered if she felt as nervous as he did, because her face didn’t betray it if she did. But every now and then, he felt her hand tremble slightly, and he was grateful to know that he wasn’t alone in that.

“You look different.” Felicity said, glancing up at him.

“How so?”

“I don’t know, there’s…something.” Her eyes studied him carefully. “You seem lighter.”

He smiled even as he frowned. “Lighter?”

“Yeah, like you don’t have the weight of the world on your shoulders for once.”

Squeezing her hand lightly, he stared right back at her. “Maybe I don’t. For once.”

He heard a sharp intake of breath but she masked it quickly. He wasn’t surprised, deflection was one of her many talents. His too.

“I still can’t believe you got the company back. I mean, of course I can believe it, but I just didn’t think it would happen this quickly. They were hanging off your every word. It was amazing!”

Oliver chuckled as he watched her talk. She was practically radiating happiness. It was infectious too because he found himself feeling happier than he’d been in such a long time.

Things finally seemed to be coming together. With Captain Lance disbanding the task force put together to capture him, The Arrow was now accepted as part of the city. He had a fantastic team to work with. And as of this morning, he had his family’s company back, there was a lot of work to do, he knew that, but he was willing to try.

Of course, a lot of it was down to the blonde-haired woman currently walking beside him. Without her, he knew he wouldn’t have gotten this far. “So I’ve been thinking.”

“That sounds dangerous.” She said with a wink.

Oliver chuckled. “It’s about the executive assistant position.”

She stopped abruptly. “You’re giving my job to someone else? Are you firing me? I thought-“

He reached out to touch her shoulder. “No, that’s not what I…that’s…” He sighed. “I love working with you, Felicity. But I remember your reaction to it last year; and whatever you might’ve thought at the time; I was aware of the rumours. It wasn’t fair to you. So…if you want the job, it’s yours. But if you don’t, I’m sure we could find something else more suitable to your talents.”

A flash of what he thought was relief crossed her features. “Oh, that’s good because I want my job back. Yes I am highly overqualified for it, but I…I love working with you too.”

“Good, then that’s settled.”

They carried on walking. “Besides, who else is going to be able to keep up with excusing you every time you’re late?”

“It’s not that often.” He protested, but it was weak.

She didn’t say anything else; she just tilted her head and gave him a pointed look.

“Well, maybe that’s true. But I like to think I’m on time for the important things.”

She scoffed. “Oliver, you were late for practically every board meeting-“

She stopped talking when she saw the look he was giving her. “Oh.” Her cheeks turned slightly red. “Yeah, I guess you are.”

~~~~~~~~~~

They made it through their first course without incident. Felicity was nervous, but it was that good kind of nervous where her chest fluttered and anticipation started to build. And judging from the looks Oliver kept giving her, he was feeling the same way.

“This is crazy, isn’t it?” Oliver asked, unexpectedly.

She paused before taking a sip of her wine. “Us having dinner?”

“No, us being nervous. I mean, what do we have to be nervous about?”

She slowly set her wine down and stared at it, her fingers toying with the stem of the glass. “Well, this isn’t exactly a typical night for us, Oliver. I mean…we’ve already exhausted any topic of conversation that one would normally talk about on a first date. Or any date for that matter. And I’ve already seen you shirtless.”

Felicity paused, mentally kicking herself but she couldn’t seem to get her mouth to stop saying…words. “Multiple times…shirtless…all the time.”

Avoiding his eyes, she quickly grabbed her wine glass again and took another long sip.

Oliver didn’t even seem fazed by her outburst. He just placed his elbows on the table and leaned forward slightly. Drawn in by that gaze, Felicity found herself leaning forward too.

“There are still some things that you don’t know about me. Things that I’ve never told you. Or anyone.”

She knew that. A man with as much baggage as Oliver was sure to have, wasn’t exactly going to spill all his secrets to just anyone. “You don’t have to, Oliver. I understand if you can’t.”

He gave her a small, sad smile, but carried on. “The five years that I was gone, I wasn’t always on Lian Yu.”

This was it, she thought. He was opening up to her. But as much as she loved the idea, it pained her to see the vulnerability in his eyes. Softly, she asked. “Where were you?”

“Hong Kong, for one. I…had to make some choices there that…”

He trailed off, his eyes taking on a glazed look, and Felicity knew that he was getting lost in those memories. She reached over the table and grasped his hand, bringing him back to the present. To her.

He turned his hand so that he could hold on to hers. “I’m sorry, I’m just…a little out of my element.”

“Oliver, it’s okay, you don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready.”

He went on as if she hadn’t spoken, as if he was determined to get something, anything, out. “The entire time that I was gone, I could never really trust anyone. And when that goes on for so long, you stop seeing people for people. You see them as threats, or targets.”

 _Targets_. She dreaded to think what he meant by that. But she stayed quiet; this seemed to be something that he needed to do.

“When I came home, I just…I didn’t know how to stop that. I didn’t know how to turn that part of me off.”

“Oliver…” Her voice was barely a whisper.

“But then I walked into your office. You were the first person that I could see as a…person.”

His eyes brightened a little. “There was just something about you. Up until that point, I don’t think I had ever really smiled. There wasn’t a whole lot to smile about. But when I met you, that little…head tilt that you did, I just couldn’t help it. You saw right through me.”

She scoffed. “Well really, how on earth did you expect me to believe that you had your laptop shot at in a coffee shop?”

A small laugh escaped him as he stared down at their linked hands. “I don’t know.”

He placed his other hand over hers, trapping it between both of his. He drew in a deep, calming breath and when he opened his eyes, she could see that the storm had passed. He was back with her.

His thumb traced the back of her hand slowly as he stared at her, and she felt that heat pass between them again. Only this time, she could be honest with herself and call it what it was.

“Felicity, I…” Oliver paused as the waiter appeared, carrying their main course. He must’ve felt the tension because he quickly placed their meal down, told them to enjoy, and promptly vanished.

But it didn’t matter, the moment was broken and Oliver didn’t look like he was about to finish the sentence he’d started.

Deciding to change the subject, Felicity looked down at her plate. “This looks delicious.”

Oliver nodded. “It does.”

They ate in silence, occasionally glancing at one another. It felt so natural, familiar, even though they’d never done this before. Sure, they’d shared meals in the past, but this was different.

By the time the waiter brought the dessert menus around, Felicity was full. She tried to hide it, but she knew that he had heard her little sigh as she looked at the menu.

“Felicity.” His eyes locked on to hers. “You don’t really want dessert, do you?”

She winced. “Would I be a terrible person if I said no?”

He shook his head and smiled. “What do you say we get out of here? Maybe go for a walk?”

“I’d love that.”

It didn’t take long for Oliver to signal the waiter and get their bill. She tried to offer to pay for her half but he was having none of it, mumbling something about not being as poor as she thought as he tucked his credit card into the little black wallet.

The night sky was still clear when they stepped out of the restaurant, but there was a chill in the air and Felicity cursed herself for not bringing a jacket.

As she stared up at the stars, she felt a rush of warmth envelop her and the rich, enticing scent that was all Oliver Queen surrounded her. She looked down to see him draping his jacket over her shoulders.

Without saying anything, he took her hand in his and started walking.

“Aren’t you going to be cold?” She asked, only noticing how thin his shirt was when his biceps strained against the material.

He shook his head. “No, I’ve had colder nights.”

“On the island?”

“Some nights it was so cold that I could barely feel my body.”

She hated to think of him on that island. She’d been there, and while she hadn’t seen all of it, she’d seen enough to know that it was a place she never wanted to go to again.

Thoughts of Oliver lying cold and shivering in the dark assaulted her and though she tried, she couldn’t push them away. It made her heart ache, the way he wouldn’t…or couldn’t talk about it.

She felt a tug on her hand. “Hey, where’d you go?”

“Nowhere,” She replied, tucking his jacket a little tighter around herself. “I’m right here.”

As they walked around for a while, Oliver slowly began to open up to her a little more. He told her of the things he’d had to do on the island just to stay alive. How he’d managed to keep himself warm enough to sleep and find enough food to eat. Little tricks he’d picked up along the way to make life there just slightly more bearable.

He talked about his days with Slade and Shado, the three of them living in that fuselage she and Diggle had found him in after Tommy died. But throughout it all, he held himself rigid and she could feel the tension coming off him in waves. This wasn’t easy for him; she knew that. But she felt incredibly humbled that he was confiding in her.

She gripped his hand tighter and pressed herself a little closer to him, and eventually, he let go of her hand and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, tucking her into his side.

Felicity was content just to be with him, to listen to him talk and not say anything. Every so often, she could feel his eyes on her and she would glance up to see him looking down with such softness that it made her stomach swirl.

Before she knew it, they were back at her apartment, and all at once, the nerves that she’d thought were gone, returned full force. She wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do now. Should she invite him in? Should she say goodnight?

She didn’t know, because this wasn’t a situation they’d been in before. If this hadn’t been a date, she would’ve invited him in for coffee because…that’s what friends did. But this was a date; their first date and she didn’t quite know what the protocol was now.

Oliver walked her up the steps to her front door and stopped. He drew in a deep breath as he stared down at her.

Feeling slightly out of her depth, Felicity shifted from one foot to the other. “I uh…I had a great time tonight, Oliver.”

He nodded but didn’t reply; the intensity in his gaze was a little overwhelming for her. Letting go of her hand, he reached up to touch her cheek. “You really do look beautiful tonight, Felicity.”

She leaned into his palm, and closed her eyes. When she opened them, she could see that vulnerable look again.

“Hey,” She trailed her fingers along his jawline. “What’s wrong?”

He swallowed hard, one hand resting on her waist, pulling her closer to him. “I’ve told you a lot about my past tonight, Felicity. More than I’ve ever told anyone before.”

“I know…” She frowned. Where was he going with this? “I know that it wasn’t easy for you, but I’m glad that you did.”

“I just…I don’t want you to look at me differently. There’s still so much you don’t know.”

“Hey, nothing you can say will make me feel any differently. I can’t imagine what it was like there for you, I’m certainly not going to judge whatever you had to do to stay alive, Oliver. Because if you hadn’t, I never would’ve met you and I never would’ve fallen-“ She stopped short as she realised what she’d been about to say. His eyes flared and she knew that he’d realised it too.

The hand that had been around her waist came up to rest on her other cheek. He seemed to like doing that, she realised. Then she had no time for rational thinking because he lowered his head and captured her mouth with his. Slowly, almost tentatively at first, he pressed his lips against hers. This kiss was different from the one they’d shared the night before. The tenderness threatened to bring her to tears, as if he was pouring his heart and soul into it, and she couldn’t help but respond.

When his teeth nibbled at her bottom lip, she gasped and Oliver took that opportunity to deepen the kiss, his tongue sliding against hers, making her arms tighten their hold around his waist.

He only pulled back when the need for oxygen became a problem. But the heat she saw in his gaze almost floored her.

“Felicity…” His voice was low and raspy, and she could see that he was struggling to regain control. It made her feel a tiny bit of satisfaction because she was in the same boat.

“Yes?”

His hands still cupped her face and he was frowning as he looked into her eyes. “I…I love you.”

Her eyes widened, her fingers dug into his waist as she struggled to comprehend what he’d just said.

“Say something, please.”

She shook her head to clear it, and smiled up at him. “Oliver…I love you too.”

“Really?”

Her eyebrows shot up. “You don’t believe me?”

He chuckled. “No, it’s not that. I just…” He let out a small sigh and leaned his forehead against hers. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Or you could come in for a coffee, which is bad at this time of night but I don’t really have anything we could have for a nightcap and-“

“Felicity.” She loved the way he said her name sometimes. It was like an entire sentence all on its own. “As much as I would love to, I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Believe me, there is nothing I want more. But I don’t want to mess this up. You’re too important to me.”

She nodded, understanding what he was saying. He’d done a lot in his past that he wasn’t proud of, it was no secret. And they had come so far in such a short amount of time. If someone had told her that day on the beach on Lian Yu, that she would be standing here, hearing those three little words from him, she would’ve laughed in their face.

But here they were.

He kissed her once more before pulling himself away, reluctantly. “Goodnight, Felicity.”

“Goodnight.”

Just as he reached his car, she called out to him. “Oliver, your jacket.”

“Keep it, I’ll get it tomorrow.” He threw her a wink and got into his car, waiting until she was safely inside before he pulled away from the kerb.

Leaning against her door, Felicity sank down to the floor with a grin on her face. 

 

_**To Be Continued...** _


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So very sorry for the wait but I got sick and then this chapter literally wouldn't come out. It did not want to be written. So I really hope that you all enjoy it, writer's block sucks! But I made it extra long to make up for it.
> 
> Anyways, please feel free to leave me a comment, they really really do make my day. 
> 
> Okay, enjoy :)
> 
> Oh and here's a link to the dress Felicity will be wearing. http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/92/2b/49/922b4931b2d6a1006e9932242b690581.jpg

 

Oliver Queen in a suit and tie was a sight that Felicity would never grow tired of seeing. As she stepped off the elevator early that morning, heading to her new/old job, she was surprised to see him perched on the end of her desk.

She’d decided to come in earlier than normal to get a head start on their first day back. She hadn’t expected him to be there before her. But it seemed that he was determined to do this right, and she was proud of him for it.

His attention was diverted to whatever he was reading but as soon as she opened the door and stepped inside, his face lit up into the widest grin she’d ever seen on him.

“Good morning.” He said, tucking the papers he’d been reading behind him. He leaned forward and dropped a quick kiss on her lips. She loved that he did that with such ease now, but as he drew back, she could also see that he was feeling a little apprehensive. She had to admit that she was too.

This thing between them was still new and confusing. Since their date two nights ago, they’d spent most of their time together, mostly at the Foundry, preparing to go back into the office, along with taking out some bad guys in between.

“Why are you here?” she asked, distracted by the purple tie he was wearing. The same one he had worn on their date. She had a sneaking suspicion he’d done it on purpose too. Her words filtered through to her brain and she grimaced. “I mean, I know _why_ you’re here. I meant why are you here this early?”

“Because it’s our first day back. I wanted to get reacquainted. And also, because I can do this…”

Placing his hands on her hips, he pulled her forward until she was standing between his legs. He reached up to cup her cheek, capturing her lips in a searing kiss. Felicity’s eyes fluttered closed as she rested her hands on his chest, her fingers automatically closing around the tie, pulling him closer.

Eventually, common sense kicked in and she pulled away, very aware of their surroundings. “Oliver, we’re at work.”

“So?”

“So, we really should be working don’t you think?”

He shrugged and stood up, his body brushing against hers until she was forced to take a step back. Feeling a little flustered, Felicity took refuge behind her desk, trying to distract herself by going through the mail. It wasn’t working.

Oliver stood there looking a little too pleased with himself as he adjusted his tie.

“Don’t you have emails to be checking? Phone calls to be making?”

He raised his eyebrows at her exasperated tone but the grin didn’t disappear. Oh, he knew what he was doing. And he was good. Well, two could play at that game, she thought. She walked around her desk slowly, fingertips gently brushing the wood as she tilted her head. “Would you like me to get you a cup of coffee, Mr Queen?”

His smile fell instantly, the amusement replaced with something very different. His eyes darkened as she got closer and he swallowed hard.

“Ahem.” Their heads whipped around to see Diggle standing in the doorway, hands clasped together in front of him. “Is this how it’s gonna be with you two now?”

Felicity inwardly groaned and moved back behind her desk, her cheeks heating up in embarrassment. Oliver, however, didn’t appear too bothered by the interruption. He simply smiled at Diggle, threw her a wink, and moved into his newly renovated office.   

Taking a deep breath, Felicity closed her eyes and slowly counted to three. Then she made her way into the office to give Oliver his mail. Diggle was sitting on the couch and though she’d been mortified, she was a little grateful for the interruption. Working with Oliver now that they were together was going to be a completely new challenge.

She must’ve been staring at him because Oliver straightened slightly in his chair. “What?”

“Nothing, it’s just really good to see you sitting there again.”

“I have to admit, it feels good.”

“Well it looks like our new C.E.O is all settled in.” A voice said from behind them. Felicity turned to see a woman standing in the doorway, smiling politely. She looked to be about Felicity’s age, maybe a little older, with jet-black hair that fell in waves over her shoulders. “Welcome back, Mr Queen.”

“May I help you?” Felicity asked.

“My name is Amelia Danvers.” She replied, offering her hand out to Felicity as she stepped forward. “I’m the new head of the P.R department. And you must be Felicity Smoak, executive assistant to the C.E.O?”

“That would be correct.” Felicity replied, frowning. The term ‘assistant’ grated on her, but now wasn’t the time to get into all that.

“What happened to Michael?” Oliver asked, standing up.

“The board decided that due to recent events, new leadership was required in order to bring back public confidence in the company. And let me assure you that I am the person for the job.”

She was certainly tenacious, Felicity thought. Maybe just what the company needed. That didn’t mean she trusted her right off the bat, she would be doing her own checking into this woman later on. Isabel Rochev had taught her that much.

“I’m sure you are, Ms. Danvers. So what brings you by?” Oliver asked.

“I’ve come to discuss this evening.”

Oliver glanced questioningly at Felicity, who shook her head in response. She had no idea what the woman was talking about.

“Please, take a seat, Ms. Danvers.” Oliver offered as Diggle silently vacated the couch and moved to stand next to the door. “What’s going on this evening?”

Amelia pulled a few papers out of her briefcase as she sat. “The company is throwing a party in your honour.”

“Oh, that’s really not necessary-“

She held up a hand to stop him. “I’m afraid it is, Mr Queen. Whilst in the hands of Ms. Rochev, a lot of damage was done to this company’s name. We need to rectify that as soon as possible. There are a few simple but effective ways to do it.”

“And they would be?” Oliver sat on the couch opposite her, and waited for her to finish shuffling her papers around.

“First, we release a statement to the press, telling them how much you’re intent on seeing this company rise from the ashes. Second, the party. It’s a fantastic way for people to see the C.E.O back in business, restore the shareholders’ confidence in you and in Queen Consolidated.”

Felicity almost laughed at the overwhelmed expression on Oliver’s face. Surely, he had to have known this would happen.

“Of course, we need to make sure that people don’t look at this party as some sort of money making scheme so it’s also going to be a fundraiser. We’ll be asking some of Starling City’s finest to donate to the Glades Memorial Hospital. Something I know that you’re passionate about.”

Felicity was surprised that this woman seemed to know Oliver so well. She’d clearly done her homework. 

“I see. So when is the press release?” Oliver asked.

Amelia looked at her watch. “In about fifteen minutes. So we need to get you prepared.”

He nodded, his face adopting the ‘business’ look, as Felicity called it. “Right, okay.”

She must’ve sensed his unease because Amelia looked up and smiled softly at him. “Don’t worry, Mr Queen. It’s my job to make this as easy on you as possible. But I am not going to lie to you; it will be hard for the first few weeks. I promise you that we will get your family’s company back to the status it once held.”

Oliver smiled, but Felicity could see the tension in his shoulders.

“I don’t want to get it back to that status.”

Amelia’s jaw dropped. “Mr Queen, I strongly suggest-“

This time, Oliver stopped her with a raised hand. “What I mean is, I want to take this company to a higher level than my parents did. I want to put Queen Consolidated on the map.” He glanced up at Felicity. “I want to build a legacy.”

She returned his smile, a hint of pride in hers.

Amelia smiled and nodded. “Good, I’m very pleased to hear that. Okay, Mr Queen, what do you say we get this press release started?”

Oliver nodded. “Absolutely.”

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Later that evening, Oliver was standing in the middle of a ballroom with a glass of champagne in his hand, silently cursing himself for allowing Felicity to convince him to let her meet him at the party. After checking his watch for the third time, he excused himself from the conversation he hadn’t been paying attention to, and went to stand next to Diggle.

“She’s late.”

Diggle smiled in response, but kept his eyes on the crowd. He was, after all, Oliver’s bodyguard. “By about ten minutes.”

Oliver shook his head. “Felicity is never late. If anything, she’s always early.”

Diggle’s eyes moved towards the large doorway. “Something tells me that she’s late for a reason.”

“When she said she wanted to go dress shopping I didn’t realise it would take this long.”

“Oliver, just look.”

“What are you talking…?” Oliver’s voice trailed off as his eyes followed to whatever Diggle was looking at.

His mouth fell open slightly at the sight that was greeting him. Felicity was standing in the doorway of the ballroom, her eyes scanning the crowd, looking for him. He knew he should move, but his feet were firmly rooted to the floor as his eyes took in every little detail.

She was breathtakingly beautiful. Her floor length gown accentuated her curves, hugging her waist and thighs before fanning out at the bottom. But it was the colour that struck him the most. He was sure it wasn’t an accident that she was wearing green. Dark green.

Her eyes landed on him and she began to make her way over. He slowly drew in a deep breath, taking a moment to appreciate the way she moved so gracefully. 

“Hi.” She said, her voice a little shaky. Was she nervous?

“Felicity…” He shook his head as he gazed down at her, unable to find the right words to describe what he was feeling.

Felicity’s eyes widened as she ran a hand over the blonde waves that fell past her shoulders. “What? Is my hair messy? Do I have something on my face? Is my mascara running?”

He placed his hand on her shoulder and her eyes closed briefly. When they opened again, she seemed a little calmer.

“There’s nothing wrong, _believe_ me.” His gaze did an involuntary sweep down her body and back up to meet her eyes. “You’re beautiful, Felicity.”

A small smile appeared, chasing away some of the nervousness he’d seen. “Thanks.”

He saw her eyes do their own appraisal of him. “You look very handsome tonight. I can never resist a man in a tux.”

Oliver chuckled as she squeezed her eyes shut, a faint pink hue appearing in her cheeks. “Thank you.” He replied.

For a moment, neither of them spoke. Her eyes dropped to his mouth and she leaned forward as if she intended to kiss him, but she pulled back at the last second.

She shook her head and cleared her throat. “Where’s Digg?”

Oliver glanced around, wondering where he’d gone. “He was here just a second ago.”

“Do you think…?” Felicity bit her lip nervously.

“Do I think what?”

“Do you think we make him uncomfortable? Being together, I mean?”

Oliver smiled. “No, in fact I’m pretty sure he’s happy for us.”

“Okay, that’s good. I mean…working together is hard enough when we’re stuck down there and us being together now…I just-“

“Hey,” He said softly. “You worry too much. Let’s just have a nice evening and enjoy ourselves, okay?”

She nodded. “Okay.”

As the music in the ballroom changed to a slower tempo, Oliver extended his hand out to Felicity. “Dance with me.”

Her eyes lit up as she placed her hand in his, her palm sliding against his skin, leaving a tingle in its wake.

He led her over to where other couples were already dancing and drew her in close. When he wrapped his arm around her, his hand encountered nothing but bare skin and he heard a sharp intake of breath, though he wasn’t sure which one of them made the sound.

Her entire back was exposed, the dress only just covering the lower half. He flexed his fingers, revelling in the feel of her silky skin, so soft beneath his touch.

“I’ve never seen you wear green before.” Was that his voice? It sounded strange even to his own ears.

Slowly, they began swaying to the music, Felicity’s hand stroking up his arm as he held her other one in his. “Green is my favourite colour.”

Oliver smiled and opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by a tap on the shoulder. He turned his head, but didn’t let go of Felicity.

Amelia stood before them looking very pleased with herself. “Mr Queen. I’m sorry to interrupt but there are some people who are eager to talk to you.” She glanced over her shoulder. “ _Important_ people.”

Felicity tried to pull herself away but Oliver held her in place. “I would love to meet them, after I finish this dance.”

Amelia looked concerned. “But-“

“Miss Danvers, I have already spoken to a number of investors this evening, I’m sure the rest can wait another five minutes.” Oliver smiled politely, but his tone did not allow for any arguments.

Looking slightly shocked, Amelia nodded and walked away. He turned back to see Felicity looking at him with the same expression.

“Oliver, this party is for the benefit of your company, you know, the one you just got back. It’s for charity too. There are a lot of rich people here, you need to mingle and actually talk to them. I don’t want you to alienate anyone just for me.”

Oliver traced a finger down her cheek and smiled. “Felicity, just dance with me.”

She chuckled. “If you haven’t noticed, I already am.”

Oliver laughed and decided to kick it up a notch. He moved them around in a slow circle, their eyes locked the entire time. He released her hand and wrapped both arms around her waist, leaving her to place both her hands on his shoulders.

This way, he could feel every inch of her pressed up against his body, her heart beating fast, matching his own. One of his hands trailed up her back and down again, so softly that he could feel the goose bumps rise on her skin.

A small, contented moan escaped her as she laid her head against his shoulder. “This is perfect.”

As she tucked her face into the crook of his neck, Oliver sighed. “It is.”

They stayed that way for a while, neither of them speaking. But eventually the song ended and Amelia was once again, drawing Oliver’s attention.

Felicity chuckled as she pulled herself away. “You really should go, Oliver. Preferably before Amelia has a heart attack. Which I don’t think she’s old enough for but hey, you never know.”

“I know but-“

Felicity held up a hand. “But nothing, this is your night. Go, be C.E.O. I’m gonna go get a drink.”

“Okay.” He reluctantly let her go and walked over to Amelia, who looked relieved that he had finally decided to join her.

“Mr Queen, may I introduce you to-“

A loud bang interrupted her, followed closely by two more. Oliver knew instantly what they were. Gunshots. His eyes immediately sought out Felicity but she was nowhere to be seen.

Turning back to Amelia, Oliver grabbed her arm. “Get down, don’t move.”

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen!” A voice boomed over the shouts and screams of the terrified guests. “So lovely to meet you all.”

Several people were ushered into the room, all with their hands behind their heads. Employees from outside the ballroom, Oliver realised.

He crouched low and ducked behind a pillar as three men, armed to the teeth, crowded the large doorway. Each was wearing a mask and decked from head to toe in black.

The man standing in the middle stepped forward, pointing his gun into the crowd. “We realise that your pockets may be a little…heavy tonight. Fortunately, we’ve come to help relieve you of this burden. Now, my colleagues will be coming round and I want each of you to place your wallets, purses, and jewellery inside the bags they’ll be carrying.”

“I don’t think so buddy.” A man stood up, still holding his hands up but with determination written all over his face. _Idiot_ , Oliver thought.

“You can’t just-“ His words were cut off as the lead man shot three bullets, all straight into his chest and he fell to the ground, not moving.

The screams that rang out around Oliver almost deafened him. His eyes scanned the crowd, trying to find any sign of Felicity. He took out his cell phone and tried to call her but there was no signal. They must’ve been blocking it somehow. There was no way to call for help.

“As I was saying, all your belongings into the bags please. Don’t force me to shoot all of you.”

Oliver felt a hand clamp down on his shoulder and he immediately turned, ready to fight when he saw that it was just Diggle.

“Where’s Felicity?”

Diggle blinked. “I thought she was with you.”

Oliver cursed. “She went to get a drink.”

“What’s the plan here? There seem to be only three of them but there’s no way of knowing if there are any outside.”

“I need to find Felicity.”

The atmosphere in the room suddenly shifted and Oliver felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. In the distance, sirens were fast approaching, and from the way the men shifted and looked at each other, Oliver knew they hadn’t planned on this happening. Or at least, not this soon.

He heard Felicity before he saw her. She was being dragged into the room by another masked man. “Found her in the restroom, boss.”

Oliver clenched his fists tightly as he watched the leader turn towards her and reach out for her cell phone. Glancing at the screen, he shook his head. “Felicity Smoak. Executive assistant to Oliver Queen. I find it highly interesting that instead of running, you decided to stick around and notify the police of our visit.”

Oliver’s chest tightened at the fear he could see in her eyes. But she tilted her chin up and tried to look as calm as possible.

“That leads me to believe that either you couldn’t leave out of some misplaced act of heroism…” He stepped closer to her, one hand resting on his gun and the other smoothing some hair away from her face. “No, I think it’s more likely that there is someone very important to you in this room. Facing death is not something a normal person would do willingly. It must be love.”

Without warning, the hand that had been smoothing her hair snatched a big clump, making Felicity cry out.

“Oliver Queen!” The man yelled, dragging Felicity further into the room. “I have somebody here who would like to speak to you. Why don’t you come on out?”

“Oliver, don’t.” Diggle warned.

“There’s a back exit, you need to get these people out.” Oliver murmured, his eyes never leaving Felicity.

“Oliver, we need to wait for backup.”

But Oliver wasn’t listening. He had no choice. He stepped around the pillar and into view. The leader quickly placed Felicity between them and pointed his gun at her head.

“Congratulations on getting the company back, Mr Queen.”

Oliver stood tall, squaring his shoulders as he took a deep breath. Felicity was looking directly at him, and he knew she recognised what he was doing. Or what he was about to do. She shook her head slightly to warn him against it, but her eyes…the fear in those eyes controlled his movements. Felicity was never supposed to be in danger. He had always done his best to make sure that she never would be. He would stop at nothing to protect her.

“What do you want?” He growled, fighting the urge to just pummel this guy into the ground.

“What everyone wants, _Oliver_.” The leader sneered. “Money, power…but I’ll just settle for the money right now.”

Oliver made a small movement, taking a fraction of a step closer but the man saw it and pressed the barrel of his gun harder into Felicity’s temple.

“Uh-uh! Stay back. Unless you wanna be scraping her brain off the wall.”

Oliver stood still, fighting against every instinct in his body. “She has nothing to do with this. She’s just an employee, let her go.”

The man tilted his head. “Aw, isn’t that sweet? He loves you too.”

“You want money? I can give you money. But not until you let her go and release these people.”

Out of the corner his eye, Oliver saw Diggle open the back exit but hope quickly turned to fear when a gunshot rang out and Diggle fell back into the room clutching his stomach.

“Digg!” Felicity yelled, tears now streaming down her face.

“Friend of yours?” The leader asked. “Believe me when I tell you that I have no problem killing everyone in this room. So I think you’d better give me what I want.”

Two more armed men appeared in the doorway, making a total of five so far, and Oliver was desperately trying to come up with a plan of action that wouldn’t result in getting Felicity shot as well as Diggle.

Oliver could hear Captain Lance outside, yelling for them to give up their hostages, but it didn’t appear to faze this man at all. “You two,” He barked to the newcomers in the doorway. “Secure Mr Queen, make sure he can’t move an inch. I want to deal with him later.”

As they began to make their way over, Oliver knew he had no choice but to attack. He knew it would reveal who he really was to the people in the room but right now, he couldn’t think about that. Not with so many lives on the line.

He waited until they got closer, keeping his hands down by his sides as they reached for him. Two seconds later the glass windows behind him seemed to explode, showering those closest to them with broken glass. It appeared that when Felicity had called the police, she had alerted Roy too.

Oliver took advantage of the distraction and grabbed the arm of the nearest man, stepping sideways and using his own momentum to slam his head into a nearby pillar. He heard a sickening crack as bone met concrete and he sank to the floor.

The other one came rushing at him, gun drawn, so Oliver grabbed it by the barrel and rammed it straight into the man’s stomach, driving all the air out of him. As he doubled over, Oliver brought his knee up and knocked him unconscious.

A red arrow whizzed past his head as he stood, narrowly missing his face, and found its target in the shoulder of the man holding a gun to Felicity’s head. 

He cried out but kept his focus and raised the gun to shoot. Oliver ran as fast as he could, his gut clenching with the fear of not getting to her in time. Sounds of a fight broke out behind him but he knew that Roy could handle the other two men on his own. His only priority was Felicity.

Before he could get to her, Oliver saw her drive her elbow back into the man’s ribcage and stamp the heel of her stiletto into his foot. While he was momentarily distracted, Felicity grabbed the gun, turned and hit him square in the jaw.

He fell to the ground, unconscious just as Oliver reached them. Without waiting, he drew her into his arms and held her tightly.

“Are you okay?”

She nodded against his chest then pulled herself away. “I’m fine. We need to get Digg to a hospital though.”

“Hey,” He tugged her hand as she tried to move away from him. Cupping her face, he studied her eyes. “Are you sure?”

She offered him a weak smile. “I’m fine, really.”

The police started filling the room from every possible entrance, guns raised, ready for battle. After realising the threat was over, they lowered their weapons and began tending to the terrified guests.

Diggle was alive, but barely. Felicity knelt down next to him and tried to stop the bleeding. “Stay with us, John.”

Oliver moved one of her hands and looked at the wound. “He’ll be okay. It’s not a fatal wound.”

“I’ve had worse, Felicity.” Diggle ground out, wincing as she placed her hand back on his stomach. “Don’t worry, I don’t plan on going anywhere anytime soon.”

She smiled sadly. “Good. I’m holding you to that.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Oliver asked later that evening after they’d left the hospital. Diggle was okay, he’d made it through the surgery with no problems. For that, Felicity was extremely grateful. 

Now, sitting at her computer station in the Foundry at two o’clock in the morning, she turned and smiled up at Oliver as he approached. She’d thought that him in a tux was damaging enough. Seeing him in a tux minus the jacket, with his tie removed and top button undone, Felicity had to force herself to remember why they were even in the Foundry at all.

Oliver had wanted to take her home but she’d insisted on coming back here to do some recon on the men who’d attacked Oliver’s fundraiser. Lance was having a hard time identifying one of them, the leader, and Felicity had promised to help.

As soon as they’d arrived, she’d headed into the bathroom to change. She loved that dress but after the events of the evening and the fact that it now had Diggle’s blood on it, she craved something warm and comforting. After changing into her sweatpants, a t-shirt and Oliver’s grey hoodie, she felt much better.

“I’m not the one who got shot. I’m okay.”

Oliver crouched down to eye level and sighed. “Tonight should never have happened. You should never have been in danger.”

Felicity frowned at the tone of his voice. He hadn’t said much as he’d driven her car back here and now he sounded a little too calm. Almost detached. And that worried her.

“It wasn’t your fault, Oliver. You couldn’t have known this was going to happen.”

“Maybe not but you were in danger nonetheless.”

He stood up and crossed over to the other side of the desk area, leaning his palms on one of the tables. She followed but kept a distance, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Oliver, this isn’t the first time I’ve been in danger. What’s going on with you?”

She watched as he blew out a long breath and turned to face her. She didn’t like what she saw in his eyes. Defeat.

“I couldn’t protect you.”

“What?”

“A man was holding a gun to your head, Felicity. A man who had just shot someone dead only moments before. I…I was wrong.”

She narrowed her eyes. “About?”

“I thought that I could be me, and the Arrow. But I can’t.”

She took a step closer and reached out a hand but he withdrew, and she tried to push the hurt down as he took a step back from her. “Oliver, this had nothing to do with you being the Arrow.”

“Exactly. This was about me being… _me_. That guy knew about me before he stormed the place. He’d done his homework, he knew about us. I was wrong to think that I could do what I do, protect the city, and still have a normal life.”

Her gut tightened. “You’re not making any sense, Oliver.”

“People will always come after you.” He whispered, more to himself than to her. “As long as you’re with me, you’ll never be safe.”

“That’s crazy!” She countered, raising her voice slightly. She was starting to get angry. “Those people didn’t even know you were the Arrow, they had no idea that I work with you down here, and they weren’t using me to get to you.”

She marched over to him, backing him into a corner where the two tables met. “I was in no more danger tonight than I have been in the past.”

Oliver stared down at her with dark eyes. “This is different.”

“Why?” She yelled, frustrated. “Why is it so different now? Because we’re dating?”

“Because I was distracted!”

Felicity stepped back, shocked at his words. “I’m a distraction?”

Oliver sighed and shook his head. “That’s not what I meant. I just…Diggle was shot because I didn’t take into account that there could’ve been more men outside the room. I should’ve calculated that.”

“But you couldn’t because you were too focused on me. Because you were scared-“

“I wasn’t scared, Felicity.” He said, rushing forward to cup her face in his hands. “I was _terrified_ of losing you.”

“So I should’ve just…run when they came storming in? I was in the restroom, I could’ve gotten out. You’re saying that I should’ve just left you in there and ran?”

“No, because that’s not who you are. Even though I would’ve preferred that.”

His thumb stroked over her cheek. “And that’s not who you are either, Oliver. There was no way you could’ve guessed how many of them were outside when there was a gun pointed at you. Diggle should’ve checked the exit before going through it, he’s ex-military, and he knows these things. And I know that you know that, so I have to wonder…what are you really trying to say here?”

Oliver’s hands dropped to his sides. He spent a few moments just staring at her, as if he were memorising every feature on her face. “I’m so sorry.”

Felicity could practically see the giant wall he was putting up between them and the worst part was that she had no idea how to tear it down. 

“Hurting you is the last thing I want to do. But I can’t stand by and watch you get hurt…or worse.”

She shook her head and snorted. “I’ve been on this…crusade with you for almost three years now. Hey, guess what, I’m still alive! Why is it only now that we’re dating that something would happen to me?”

“Felicity…I’ve watched everyone I’ve ever cared about, die right in front of me. I’ve lost so much. I refuse to lose you too.”

The calmness in his voice made her blood turn to ice. As his eyes met hers, she realised that he wasn’t giving up; he was already done.

“Oliver Queen is as much a danger to you as the Arrow. People will always target me one way or another, and I’m so scared that they are going to see how much you mean to me and use you against me.”

Felicity tried to push back the tears that she could feel threatening. “So that’s it? You’re just…giving up on us before we even really begin?”

He closed his eyes and rubbed his hands down his face and up behind his head. When he opened them, she saw pain there but also determination.

“I…I need you.” He whispered.

She surged forward, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, pulling his head down enough so that she could rest her forehead against his. “You have me.”

He kept his arms by his sides and Felicity felt the cold creep into her chest.

“But I need you to stay safe. I can’t be with you. I can’t be with anyone.”

Slowly, she pulled away. Swallowing hard, she wrapped her arms around herself, as if that was the only thing stopping her from falling apart. “You said you loved me.”

“Felicity…” He took one small step toward her, his hand rising to touch her before he caught himself and lowered it again. “I…I can’t afford to love you, because I _can’t_ afford to lose you.”

Felicity licked her dry lips as a tear rolled down her cheek. With a slow nod, she walked back to her desk and grabbed her purse and jacket. Oliver stood in the same place, watching her, frozen.

She stopped in front of him and raised a hand to stroke his cheek. “You just did.”

She covered her mouth with her hand as she walked up the stairs, pressing hard to keep from crying out. Each step she took felt heavier than the last, and the further she got away from him, the sharper the pain in her chest grew.

She made it all the way to her car before she broke down. Leaning her forehead on the roof, she allowed the tears to fall, pressing her hand to her chest to somehow stop it all from hurting so badly.

She felt a hand cover her shoulder but she shrugged it off, not wanting Oliver to see her like this. She had been hoping that he wouldn’t follow her. It wasn’t fair for him to do that. How could he think it was okay to destroy her and then come after her?

Feeling suddenly angry with him, she straightened up and turned around, but it wasn’t Oliver she was facing.

“Why so upset, Miss Smoak?” That deep, Australian accent, the one from her nightmares, made her shudder.

Trapped between him and her car, Felicity had nowhere to run. “What are you doing here?”

Slade simply smiled in response. Then his hand shot out and grabbed her by the throat. She kicked as hard as she could but his grip was so strong. Even without the mirakuru, she didn’t stand a chance against him.

“Ssh now.” He murmured in her ear. She felt a sharp sting in her neck and then he removed his hand so fast that she fell to the ground.

She blinked hard, trying to get back up but failing as the parking lot started to spin. The streetlights danced in circles around her, their glow slowly dimming.

The last thing Felicity saw before the darkness enveloped her was Slade Wilson’s face, smiling.

“Sweet dreams.”

 

**To Be Continued...**


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare yourselves and enjoy. Please let me know what you think of this chapter, I would really appreciate it.

 

It was early evening by the time Oliver was able to get down to the Foundry. After dealing with countless business meetings and Amelia all day, all of which without Felicity, he was ready to blow off some steam.

He quickly changed out of his office clothes and into his workout pants, and headed over to Felicity’s computer station. The empty chair only served to increase his agitation, so he turned to the news channel and headed towards the salmon ladder.

Two days. That’s how long it had been since he’d last heard from her. And it was killing him. He missed her voice, her scent, the way her ponytail would swish gently as she turned her head. He missed _her_.

With Diggle recuperating at home, and Felicity taking some much-needed time away from him, the Foundry had never felt so empty. Even Roy had been keeping his distance. Normally he was so used to it that it didn’t bother him. But this time it was the circumstances that made it different and he felt…lonely.

After finishing his fifth round on the ladder, Oliver still wasn’t feeling anything, so he decided to work on the training dummy instead. Maybe punching something would help. The familiar rhythm of his routine was calming, and he relished the dull ache in his elbows and knuckles.

“In other news, the masked men behind the attack on Oliver Queen’s fundraiser appeared in court today. Assistant District Attorney Laurel Lance prosecuting…”

The rest of the news reporter’s sentence was drowned out by the sound of wood splintering and cracking. Memories of that night assaulted him. The fear he saw on Felicity’s face made the anger swirl in the pit of his stomach, and before he knew it, one of the arms on the dummy snapped off in his hands.

“You know those things cost a fortune to replace.” Diggle said, appearing at the bottom of the stairs.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Oliver leaned his forehead against the dummy and drew some air deep into his lungs to centre himself.

“What are you doing here, Digg? You should be at home with Lyla.”

Diggle walked over to the nearest chair and sat down gingerly. He’d been incredibly lucky that the bullet had missed any vital organs. “I was. She kicked me out, said I was driving her crazy, hovering.”

“She’s due next week right?”

“Yeah but she refuses to slow down.” He sighed. “Anyway, I thought I would come down here, see what’s happening. Get some fresh air.”

Unable to listen to the news report any longer, Oliver crossed over to the desk and switched the monitor off. “I wouldn’t exactly call it fresh down here.”

Diggle didn’t reply, and Oliver turned around to see the older man studying him.

“You okay, man?”

Oliver shrugged. “I’m fine.”

The look Diggle threw him said that he didn’t believe him. “Have you heard from Felicity yet?”

“No. She’s not answering my calls. Have you?”

“No, but maybe she just needs a little time, Oliver. You owe her that.”

Ignoring the glaringly obvious disapproval in Diggle’s tone, Oliver frowned. “She didn’t come to see you in the hospital?”

“Well, I wasn’t in there for very long. I think she just needs some time to herself. Away from…” He gestured around the Foundry. “All of this.”

 _Away from me_ , _you mean_. Oliver thought, and he understood that. But two days was a long time for her to go without contacting either Diggle or himself. He knew that, no matter how hurt she might be, she at least would want to check on Diggle and make sure that he was okay.

Diggle also seemed to realise this because he stood up. “You want me to head over to her place and check on her?”

Yes, he did. But he wanted to do it himself. “No, I’ll go. You go home to Lyla. She needs you more than I do right now.”

Diggle looked a little conflicted. “Oliver that might not be the best idea. Look, I’m not going to pretend that I understand why you did what you did; you two clearly love each other. But seeing you before she’s ready to is only going to hurt her more.”

Oliver knew that, and he would do anything to prevent it, but there was a gnawing feeling in his chest that he couldn’t ignore. “I just want to make sure she’s okay.”

“You might want to consider what all this is doing to you too.” Oliver crossed his arms and stared down at the floor, so Diggle shook his head and sighed. “Just…be careful, okay?”

Trying to swallow past the lump in his throat, Oliver nodded. “Go home, John. Get some rest.”

Diggle clapped him on the shoulder and made his way to the stairs. Once he was gone, Oliver sat down in Felicity’s chair and pulled out his cell phone.

He thumbed through the contacts until he saw her face smiling back at him, and he felt as if someone had punched him in the gut. The pain he’d seen in her eyes, pain that he’d caused, haunted him. It was there every time he closed his eyes.

He dialled her number and put the phone to his ear. After a few moments, her voicemail kicked in and he hung up without leaving a message.

That was it; he needed to see her, to make sure that she was okay. Then…then he would do the right thing and leave her alone.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

The first thing Felicity was aware of as she opened her eyes, was the pounding in her skull. The second was the birds singing. They were so loud that, for a split second, she wondered if she’d woken up inside a cartoon, and they were flying in circles around her head.

With a pained chuckle, she scrubbed her face with her hands and forced herself to sit up and look around. Squinting against the sun, she saw nothing but trees surrounding her. The ground felt soft, cold, and damp, and as she struggled to her feet, Felicity felt her heart speed up.

The last thing she remembered was...

“Oh my God.” She whispered as the memory hit her hard. “Slade.”

He’d done this to her. She remembered him sneaking up on her in the parking lot at Verdant. The sharp sting in her neck as he’d injected her with something and knocked her out. And then he’d brought here. But where was _here_?

Her eyes felt itchy and dry but at least she still had her glasses on, that was something. She stumbled forward, unsteady on her feet, towards a familiar sound. As the soft, mossy ground gave way to sand, she realised what it was. Waves.

Panic set in, blood rushing in her ears that matched the waves crashing in on the shore. “Okay, calm down, Felicity. Think.”

But it was no use, her panic was slowly turning to terror as she realised that she was no longer anywhere close to Starling City. She walked a few metres out onto the sand, staring out at the horizon. There were no boats or ships of any kind, no people on the beach. Not a soul in sight. The last shred of hope she’d been clinging to, disappeared.

She was alone.

Was she back on Lian Yu? She’d only visited it twice. Once to find Oliver and she’d hated it, even before she’d stepped on a landmine. The second time was to put Slade as far away from people as they could get him. That, evidently, had been a waste of time.

The thought of being stuck there again was terrifying. Although it didn’t look the same as the last time, and she couldn’t remember birds singing in the forest, but she was hardly an expert. Would Slade be that predictable? Would he strand her there, knowing that, eventually, someone might think to look there?

Felicity had no idea, but one thing was clear, she was definitely on an island.

The longer she stared at the open ocean stretching out in front of her, the harder it became to breathe. Unable to stand it any longer, she turned and ran back into the forest, back to the place she’d woken up. Maybe she’d get lucky and wake to find this was all just a horrible dream.

Of course, that was wishful thinking on her part. As her steps slowed, she noticed a blue backpack on the ground, next to the spot she’d been laying in. She fell to her knees beside it, and yanked it open.

Inside she found a blanket, a flashlight, and a bottle of water. She hadn’t realised how thirsty she was until she saw it, so she quickly opened it and took a few, slow sips. She wanted to drink the whole thing, but she knew that she had to conserve what little resources she had.

“Thanks so much, Slade.” She growled, her fear quickly turning to anger. Why dump her here? What was his game plan this time?

A more thorough search of the bag yielded nothing. A blanket, flashlight, and water were all that Slade had left her with, and she wasn’t even sure why he’d given her that much. His intentions were obvious; he’d left her there to die.

Pressing her lips together firmly, Felicity refused to cry, but as she sat with her knees huddled up to her chest, she knew that it was a battle she would lose.

She wrapped her arms around her knees, leaning her chin against them, breathing in the familiar scent of the grey hoodie she still wore. _Oliver_.

The pain of their last interaction resurfaced, leaving her with a hollow feeling, and the tears slowly started to fall. Did he know she was missing? Was he looking for her?

She knew he would be beating himself up, blaming himself for the way things ended between them. For allowing any scenario where she could’ve been kidnapped. Truthfully, she wanted to blame him too, but found that she couldn’t. Not now, not when her life was in danger and she needed him more than ever.

For the first time since she’d woken up, she actually prayed that she _was_ on Lian Yu. As crazy as it sounded, she knew that if she were, Oliver would at least have some sort of clue where to look. He would find her eventually once he’d exhausted all possibilities back home.

She needed to get up, sitting still for too long would only make her a target for…well she didn’t want to think about that. But she wasn’t naïve. Right now, her only choices were the beach, or the forest. One was too exposed, and the other would be downright terrifying, come nightfall.

Her chest constricted at the thought of being here after dark, so much so that she started to feel lightheaded. She straightened her legs out in front of her and leaned forward, gasping for breath.

 _You need to stay calm_ , she told herself, but her mind wasn’t listening. Her whole body began to shake so she reached over, grabbed the thick, green blanket, and wrapped it tightly around her torso.

As some warmth began to seep into her skin, Felicity found herself calming a little. At least enough to form a coherent thought. She needed to come up with some sort of plan. Sitting here would do her no good and she would soon drive herself crazy.

She remembered reading an article a few years ago, around the time that Oliver had returned to Starling City, about different ways to survive on a desert island. She couldn’t be a hundred per cent sure, but she was almost certain that this place could be classed as deserted.

She remembered most of the details the article had mentioned; along with little things that Oliver had told her about his own ordeal. Things that he’d told her on their one and only date.

She drew in a deep breath and wiped her cheeks dry, refusing to allow her mind to go back to that particular evening. But she had to focus on something other than being alone out here too.

She compiled a mental checklist of the things that were urgently needed. Number one: find a supply of water. Number two: find shelter. Finding food could wait; she wasn’t very hungry anyway. And since she already had a bottle of water that would last through the night, she decided to focus on number two.

Feeling a little better with a goal in mind, Felicity gathered up the items Slade had left her with and stood up. She needed to find or create some kind of shelter that would not only keep her dry, but safe from any predators too. A quick glance at the sun told her that she didn’t have a lot of time left before dark.

She pulled her hood up over her head and threw the bag over her shoulder. With no idea of which way to go, she began walking forward, deeper into the woods, taking care not to trip over any branches sticking out of the ground.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Felicity’s apartment was shrouded in darkness when Oliver pulled up on his motorcycle. Not a single light was on in the entire place. That little warning in the back of his head became louder as he walked up the front steps and knocked on her door.

No answer.

He knocked again, louder this time. “Felicity? If you’re there, please open the door.”

When there was no reply, Oliver laid his palm against the door, his eyes closing. “Felicity…please. I just need to know that you’re okay.”

Something was wrong. He could feel it deep in the pit of his stomach. He was tempted to break in and get some answers, but he knew that she would hate that. On the other hand, if she’d answered just one of his calls, he would know that she was safe and he would leave her alone to hate him in private.

A sharp pain shot through his chest at that thought. Did she now hate him? He had it coming, he knew, but that didn’t make it any easier to acknowledge.

Acting purely on instinct, Oliver tried the door handle, and was shocked when it twisted easily and the door swung open. Alarm bells went off in his head; Felicity would never leave her door unlocked, he and Diggle had taught her better than that.

He stepped through into the living room, senses on alert, and looking for any signs of danger. There was nothing there, nothing except silence and darkness. Maybe she was already asleep. The thought of sneaking into her bedroom was abhorrent to him but he needed to see her, just once.

He walked down the hall, his feet barely making a whisper of sound, and paused outside her bedroom door, listening. Nothing.

Steeling himself against what he might find, Oliver opened the door. The bed was empty, and so neatly made that it looked as though she hadn’t slept in it for days. For a moment, he stood there staring at it, almost able to visualise her lying there. She always looked so peaceful when she was asleep.

Dread washed through him as he realised there were only two options for her disappearance. The first one, the one that scared him most, was that someone might’ve kidnapped her. The second, though it was just as scary, it would be preferable, was that she had left Starling City. Left _him_.

Reaching out, he opened the closet doors and felt his eyes widen. Her clothes were gone; the rails left bare, and only the hangers remained.

Oliver felt as though a fist had wrapped itself tightly around his heart. She really was gone. He hadn’t thought it was possible until that moment. But what choice had he given her? For three days, he had revealed his true feelings to her, and at the slightest risk to her safety, he had thrown in the towel and ended it.

Maybe it was better this way. He knew the risks, had always known them from the minute she’d stepped foot in the Foundry. She would always be in danger because of the life he led, no matter how much he needed her or how safe she thought she was in the Foundry.

With an aching in his chest, Oliver turned and headed out of her apartment, but a tiny thought niggled at him. If she had left, why wouldn’t she lock her apartment? Before he could really examine that thought, his phone rang, and he snatched it out of his pocket, hoping that it might be Felicity.

It wasn’t.

“Digg, what’s up?”

“Hey man, can you get to the hospital?”

For a split second, Oliver panicked. Had something happened to her? “What’s wrong? Is she…?”

“No! No it’s Lyla, she went into labour, and I just thought you might like to come and meet our new daughter.” The elated tone of his friend’s voice made Oliver happy but it was soon overshadowed.

“That was fast.”

Diggle chuckled. “Yeah, apparently she was eager to greet the world.”

Taking one last look at Felicity’s apartment with a frown, he turned and headed back towards his motorcycle. “I’ll be right there.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Oliver arrived outside Lyla’s hospital room unsure of what to do. The door was open and Diggle was sitting on Lyla’s bed, his face full of joy as he gazed down at his baby girl.

A wave of longing hit him hard as he watched the new family. Since his return from the island, he’d never thought of having a family, or a future outside of his Arrow activities. Not only because was it dangerous, but because of the things he’d done in his past, it just never occurred to him that he could have that. Or that he deserved it.

But for one shining moment, he’d felt…hope. That maybe, just maybe, one day he could have that with Felicity. Now all that was gone and it was his fault. Nevertheless, it left him feeling…empty.

Standing there alone made him feel exposed, so he gently tapped on the door and stepped inside. Lyla, sensing his hesitation, gestured for him to come closer.

“Thanks for coming, Oliver.” She said, smiling brightly. She looked tired but so happy.

“Congratulations guys. She’s beautiful.”

“Thanks, man.” Diggle replied, standing up. He leaned over Lyla, dropping a quick kiss on her lips. “I’m gonna go get you some water.”

Oliver knew that was just an excuse to talk to him in private, so he kissed Lyla on the cheek, glanced at the sleeping baby in her arms one more time, and then followed Diggle outside.

“I tried calling Felicity, she’s not picking up.” Diggle said as soon as they were out of the room. “Did you go to her apartment?”

Oliver nodded. “She’s not there. All her clothes are gone.”

Diggle’s brows shot up. “She left? That’s not like Felicity.”

Oliver rubbed at the back of his neck. “I hurt her, Digg.”

“Still, she wouldn’t just leave. Not without telling us. Are you sure she left?”

“No, I’m not sure!” Oliver sighed, instantly regretting his harsh tone. “I don’t know what else to do, I-“

His cell phone vibrating in his pocket cut him off. He rushed to answer it, frowning at the unknown number.

“What?”

“Is that anyway to talk to an old friend, Oliver?”

Oliver gritted his teeth at the voice he’d come to hate so long ago. “What do you want, Amanda?”

“We have a problem.”

“What makes you think I care about your problems? They stopped being _my_ problems years ago.”

“This is everyone’s problem, Oliver. Slade Wilson has escaped.”

Oliver felt the blood drain from his face. Diggle must’ve seen it too because his expression changed from curiosity to worry in an instant.

“What. Happened?” Oliver growled, his voice low and menacing.

“The operative tasked with feeding him is dead. Slade killed him and broke out.”

Enraged, Oliver swore. “How could you let that happen, Amanda? Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”

“That tone will get you nowhere, Oliver. My operatives are trying to locate him but it’s taking some time.”

Trying hard to reign in his anger, Oliver closed his eyes. “When did he escape?”

“Four days ago.”

Oliver exploded. “And you’re just telling me this now?”

“I have no obligation to you, Mr Queen. However, we were unaware of his escape until the operative missed his check in last night. I am letting you know simply out of courtesy.” Her tone was frosty, a clear sign that he had used up his quota of justifiable anger towards her. He couldn’t care less.

“Find him, Amanda!”  Oliver hung up on her and turned back to Diggle.

“What’s wrong?”

“Slade’s out.” It didn’t take long for Oliver to connect the dots. “He’s got Felicity.”

Diggle’s eyes widened. “Did Waller tell you that?”

“She didn’t have to.” The anger he felt, at not only Amanda but also himself, was overpowering. Lashing out, he punched the wall next to him, leaving a fist-sized hole and grazing a couple of knuckles along the way.

“Oliver, you gotta calm down, this isn’t the place.” Diggle said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Oliver shrugged it off, breathing heavily. “He took her, Digg!”

“And we will find her!”

Oliver shook his head, the anger slowly giving way to fear. Two days he’d given her space, hearing nothing from her, because he’d thought that was the kindest thing he could do for her. He was furious at himself for not checking on her sooner.

He had left her alone and vulnerable, and now he faced losing her completely. Nausea hit him so hard that he doubled over, gasping for breath.

“This is all my fault.” He whispered.

“You couldn’t have known, man.”

As the last memory of Felicity’s face flashed into his mind, the guilt threatened to swallow him whole. He was the one who’d ended things between them. In trying to protect her, he’d put her in the worst kind of danger.

“All my fault.” He repeated.

“Dammit Oliver, stop! You’re no good to her like this. Blame yourself all you want, but get her back first!”

Drawing in a deep breath, Oliver stood up straight and started walking away from Diggle.

“Where are you going?”

“Where do you think? I have to find her.”

 

_**To Be Continued...** _


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so...little bit of a time jump in this chapter. Flashbacks are in italic.

**_ Chapter Nine _ **

 

**_Four Months Later…_ **

Oliver ran down the metal stairs in the Foundry and slammed his bow into its holder. “Nothing. Again.”

He lowered his hood to see Diggle and Roy sitting at Felicity’s computer station, looking at him. Even now, he still had to push down the urge to tell them that they shouldn’t sit there. It just wasn’t right.

The two men shared a look. “Oliver, you’ve been pushing yourself pretty hard lately and-“

“And what, Diggle?” He spat. “I should give up? Stop looking for her? She is out there somewhere!”

Diggle raised his hands in a placating gesture. “I wasn’t suggesting you stop looking for her; if you think that then you don’t know me very well.”

Oliver saw the hurt in his friend’s eyes and immediately felt bad. He knew he was out of line but he couldn’t control it. Anger had been the only thing keeping him going since she’d disappeared, and he was afraid that if he stopped, if he let the guilt overcome him, he wouldn’t be able to function. He wouldn’t be able to find her and bring her home.

He pressed his fingers to his eyes and tried to calm himself. Ironically, the one person who was always good at that wasn’t here.

“Four months, Digg. She’s been gone for four months and three days and we still don’t know where she is, if she’s hurt, or even if she’s still…” A lump grew in his throat, choking off the words he couldn’t bring himself to say. “I _can’t_ stop until I find her. I won’t.

Diggle squeezed his shoulder. “I know, man and you shouldn’t. But going out every single night, all night, interrogating people hasn’t gotten you anywhere. None of the searches have gotten _us_ anywhere. Her GPS tracker isn’t working; and we have no clue where to look…” He trailed off, a frustrated sigh escaping him.

Roy shook his head angrily. “Someone has to know where Slade is. He went to a lot of trouble to make it look like Felicity had just up and left. He must’ve known we wouldn’t buy that or else he wouldn’t have called you two months ago to gloat.”

Oliver clenched his fists, Slade’s voice still ringing in his ears as he taunted him over being careless enough to leave Felicity so vulnerable. “Then who do we ask, Roy? Waller can’t track him, everyone involved in his attack on the city is dead, and all the Mirakuru soldiers we cured are back in Iron Heights Prison. If you have _any_ ideas, I’m all ears.”

Again, his conscience niggled at him as Roy closed his mouth and looked down at the ground. But he just didn’t have it in him right then to console him. He was barely keeping himself together. They were looking to him to lead, and right now, he had no idea how to do that.

“I still don’t understand how he got to her.”

Oliver held up a finger in a warning to Roy. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what? Don’t try to figure out how he got a hold of her? She’s my friend too and I need answers just as much you do!”

Each word was like a knife piercing his chest. Oliver thought he’d known that pain well enough, but this was on a completely new level. He crossed his arms and glared at Roy, but he couldn’t blame him for being angry. Tensions had been running high in the Foundry ever since Felicity went missing, and inevitably, arguments had broken out. But at the end of it, they all came back together because the most important thing to all three of them was getting her back safe.

“When was the last time you slept, Oliver?” Diggle asked, the concerned look that Oliver had seen a lot over the past four months, returned.

“We don’t have time for this.” Pushing past them, Oliver sat down in Felicity’s chair. The dull ache in his chest intensified as he ran his hands over the arm rests. He knew it was silly, but this was her chair and each time he came down here, it hurt that much more to see it empty.

“Oliver, you’re not sleeping. You’re not eating.”

“I will sleep when we find her and-“ He stopped cold when Felicity’s face flashed up on the screen in one corner. Next to it, a news reporter started talking. Oliver turned up the volume and tried to listen, but he couldn’t drag his eyes away from that photo. Her smile was so bright that it hurt just to look at it.

“…in the ongoing case of the disappearance of Felicity Smoak.” Oliver wrenched his eyes away from her photo to focus on what the reporter was saying. “The twenty-five year old woman was last seen at Verdant nightclub four months ago. SCPD are appealing for any information, but with no leads, Captain Lance is growing increasingly concerned for the young woman’s safety.” Oliver flinched at the sad look on the woman’s face. He knew what it meant. They thought she was dead. It appeared that Lance was also coming to that conclusion.

Rage bubbled up deep inside his gut, so strong that he had to move away from the computer station. He paused next to the table opposite and leaned his fists on it, head bowed, breathing deeply.

“Oliver Queen, Miss Smoak’s employer, has offered a one million dollar reward for any new information on the case.”

“Turn it off.” He ordered.

Diggle complied, switching the monitor off completely before leaning back against the desk and folding his arms. “Oliver…”

“They think she’s dead. Even Lance.” He said in a quiet voice.

Before Diggle could respond, Oliver slammed his fists down on the table, and swept his arm across, sending the items on top flying off in all directions. Diggle barely managed to avoid a glass vial to the face.

“This is going to help find her? Losing it?” He yelled.

Oliver turned on him. “I don’t know what else to do!”

Hearing his own words, Oliver took a step backwards, his anger fading. He looked up at the ceiling and shook his head. “I don’t know what to do.”

“You gotta stop blaming yourself, man.”

Oliver’s sharp gaze snapped to Diggle’s. “I _can’t_! I’m the reason she’s gone. That’s on me.”

“No, _Slade_ is the reason she’s gone. How were any of us supposed to know that he would break out of a maximum security ARGUS prison?”

“I should’ve killed him. I spared his life when I should’ve ended it and now he has the upper hand, again!”

He stormed over to grab his bow, and then raised his hood as he headed for the stairs.

Diggle shook his head, sighing. “Where are you going?”

“As Roy said, someone has to know where Slade is hiding.”

Oliver was halfway up the stairs when Diggle’s cell phone starting ringing.

“Oliver!”

The expression on his friend’s face made him freeze, fear wrapping its icy fingers around his heart. Was this it? Was the thing he was most scared of about to come true?

Diggle’s eyes went wide as he listened. “It’s Felicity. They found her.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Felicity readjusted the pillow behind her back and sighed as she leaned into it. It felt like she was floating and the softness of the mattress beneath her was strange. She’d gotten so used to sleeping on a hard, dirty, floor that being in a bed felt as if she was on top of a giant marshmallow.

Actually, everything felt strange. The bright lighting of the hospital room was disorienting and she could practically hear the hum of the bulbs above her. Having an actual bathroom was nice too, and she’d spent a good hour or so just soaking in the warmth from the shower.

Now she was sitting on the bed in her hospital issued gown and a robe, hoping that she wasn’t dreaming. It wouldn’t be the first time it had happened, though before, she’d always dreamt that she was back at her apartment. It made her nervous, on edge, because if she woke up from this, still trapped on that island, it would be too much to handle. It would be the cruellest thing of all.

Getting up off the bed, she grabbed the hairbrush that a kind nurse have given her and crossed over to the large windows. It was dark out but the lights in the city shone like a beacon, almost welcoming her home. But she was still a far cry from being anywhere near Starling.

She had been as strong as she possibly could be on that island, but after the weeks passed, nothing happened, and no one came for her. After four months, she really started to doubt that she would ever be able to leave.

If she closed her eyes, she knew she’d be right back there, the wind rustling through the trees, the crash of the waves on the beach. The unbearable heat of the day was a stark contrast to the coldness of the night, and even though she was warm now, she couldn’t help but wrap her robe a little tighter around herself.

She could still hear it all, so loud that it was almost deafening. She leaned her forehead against the cold glass pane and closed her eyes, the brush in her hand falling to the floor with a clatter. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

_She awoke with a start, the hairs on the back of her neck standing to attention as she heard a low rumbling noise outside. Blinking the sleep from her eyes, she tried to focus. Outside the cave, the sun was shining brightly, allowing enough light for her to see clearly. She quickly grabbed her glasses and walked to the entrance._

_The sound was familiar but far away. What was it? If she didn’t know any better, she would almost say it sounded like an engine. Felicity stood up straight, eyes scanning the skyline. It couldn’t be…could it? In the distance, storm clouds were gathering, but that didn’t seem to stop the sun beating down on her._

_Without thinking any further, she bolted straight ahead, running as fast as the battered shoes on her feet would allow. Within ten minutes, she was at the edge of the woods where the ground gave way to sand._

_Staying where she was, she tilted her head and listened hard. It was gone. A sense of bitter disappointment filled her as she dropped to her knees, the sand cushioning the blow._

_There was still a chill in the air that morning, so she wrapped the grey hoodie tightly around herself and sat back on her heels. It didn’t even smell of him anymore and there were more than a few holes in it too. But it was still something that connected her to…to home._

_With a shake of her head, she pushed all those thoughts away. She refused to let herself think of him, of anyone back home. Or what they were doing. It was just too painful and being here was hard enough already._

_Her head snapped up as she heard something in the distance. Straining her ears against the sound of the waves, she heard…voices._

_Instinct immediately kicked in, making her run back into the woods. However, instead of heading back to the cave, she hid behind a large tree and waited. Two men were shouting in a language she didn’t understand. She crouched down low and pressed herself close to the tree as they came in sight, looking around._

_They didn’t appear to be dangerous, but she knew that looks could be deceiving. They were unarmed at least, and they actually looked a little cautious, as if they shouldn’t be there at all._

_“Help!” One of them shouted in a thick accent, and then proceeded to yell in his own language again. Obviously, his vocabulary didn’t extend past that one word. Where on earth was she?_

_“We help you!” The other one yelled. Evidently, they’d seen her signal. A large gathering of rocks that had taken her weeks to collect, planted in the sand to spell out the word ‘help’._

_After waiting for a few more minutes, the two men shrugged and started walking back towards the beach. Her hands gripped the tree, clenching and unclenching as something inside her screamed not to let them go. This could be her only chance._

_But what if they were dangerous? What if Slade had sent them? Did she really have another option here? She had to get off this island, one way or another._

_Decision made, she winced as she stepped out from behind the tree and walked towards them. “Hey!”_

_They whirled around at her voice, both with shocked expressions, and she paused, trying to decide if their intentions were in fact good._

_They both glanced at each other, the taller of the two nodding, and she tensed as his partner started in her direction. But he moved slowly, with his hands raised as if he didn’t want to spook her._

_“We help.” He said quietly, his voice almost a little soothing and she felt a wave of relief crash through her. He touched her elbow gently; she flinched at the contact so he snatched his hand back but held it out slightly towards her._

_She nodded and started to follow but her hands kept a firm grip on her hoodie. She was grateful that both men seemed to sense her fear because they both kept a respectful distance._

_As they got further down the beach, she stopped dead and gasped. There, on the sand, sat her salvation. An airplane._

_The taller man turned to look at her, a small smile appearing, but she couldn’t see through the tears. She pressed a hand to her forehead, feeling a little dizzy. When she started to sway, the man next to her reached out to steady her. She felt heavy, like something was pulling her down, and just as she felt his hands on her shoulders, panic set in and everything went black._

 

_~~~~~~~~~~_

 

Oliver ran through the halls as fast as he could, ignoring the gasps and shrieks of the people he passed. Diggle and Roy followed closely behind him. It had been twenty-one hours since he’d received the news that Felicity had been found, and commissioning the company jet had taken longer than he’d liked.

What the hell was she doing in Thailand? In a hospital just outside of Bangkok. Had Slade dumped her here? If so, why did he let her go now? So many questions to which Oliver had no answers. But none of that mattered right now. His only focus was to get to her, to see for himself that she was alive and well.

His thoughts had gone into overdrive during the seventeen-hour flight; he’d barely heard a word Diggle or Roy had said the entire journey. The only thing he could think about was seeing her again. Images of the last time he saw her kept replaying in his mind, on a constant loop, as they had for the past four months, and he’d never once forgotten the pain in her eyes.

When he reached her room, he stopped and stared at the closed door. For the first time in so long, this was the only barrier now standing between him and Felicity. He wanted to rush in there, grab her, and never let her go again, but something held him back.

“Oliver, you okay?” Diggle asked, coming up behind him.

Oliver snapped to attention and turned to face his friend, his hands coming up to grab the back of his neck. “I don’t know.”

“What’s wrong?” Roy asked, catching up.

“Where has she been all this time, Digg? What if she’s hurt?”

“I sense we’re about to get some answers to those questions.”

A young woman wearing a doctor’s lab coat walked up to them. “Mr Diggle?”

“That’s me,” Diggle said, stepping forward. “You called me yesterday about Felicity Smoak?”

The doctor adjusted the files in her arms and held a hand out for him to shake. “Yes, I’m doctor Montri, I’ve been treating Miss Smoak since she came in last night. You were listed as one of her emergency contacts.”

Oliver swallowed the hurt that came from that statement. Diggle was listed before him. He’d never asked her about it before, it had never occurred to him, but it hurt just the same.  “Is she okay?”

The doctor glanced at Felicity’s room and then ushered the three men down the hallway a little. “Physically she’s fine. Just a little bruised and battered. I’m not sure how much I can really tell you. Are you family?”

“Yes.” Oliver replied flatly. After all, it was the truth. Their team had become much more than just three people working together each night to save their city; they had become a family. One that now included Roy too. “Just tell me, please, is she hurt?”

“Well, Felicity has some minor injuries, nothing that I wouldn’t expect in her circumstances.”

“What circumstances?” Diggle asked. “Do you know what happened to her?”

The doctor glanced down at the file in her hand and Oliver could see she had mixed feelings about telling them any of this. He wanted to shake her, scream at her, anything to get her to speak. His entire body was vibrating with the need to know.

After a few moments, she nodded and began speaking. “Felicity was found on a small island in the Pacific Ocean. It’s about a two hour plane ride from here.”

“What?” Diggle snapped, clearly shocked. “I don’t…I don’t understand. Who found her? Was she alone there? Were there other people?”

The doctor shook her head, sadly. “I’m afraid not. There are hundreds of small islands in these waters, Mr Diggle; Felicity was found on one that doesn’t even have a name. She’s quite lucky actually because a storm diverted the airplane…”

The rest of her sentence faded away as Oliver’s heart shattered. The world seemed to tilt as the ground fell out from beneath him, knocking him off balance. Slowly, he lowered himself into a nearby chair, no longer trusting his legs to keep him upright, and covered his face with trembling hands. _No, this can’t be happening. Not Felicity._

She’d been alone all this time. Alone and scared and he’d had no clue where to find her. Instead, he’d focused on searching the city, looking for Slade. It never occurred to him that the whole time, she was out here. His chest ached as he thought of his own experiences on the island. The mere notion of her going through _anything_ remotely similar to that was…well, he couldn’t bear to think of it. _Oh, Felicity I’m so sorry._

“Oliver!” Diggle yelled, snapping him out of his thoughts. “You okay?”

Blinking back the tears he could feel coming, Oliver looked up to see Diggle crouched in front of him with Roy and the doctor behind him looking concerned.

“I need to see her.” Oliver demanded, standing up.

The doctor nodded, sympathy shining in her eyes. “Of course. You can go in. But only you, I think all three of you might be too much at this moment.”

“When can we take her home?” Diggle asked, and Oliver noticed a slight sheen in his eyes too. Roy was quiet, but one look at him told Oliver that he was fuming inside.

“As soon as she’s ready. Like I said before, physically, she’s fine. I was a little concerned about the dehydration but we put her on IV fluids as soon as she arrived so I think she’s okay to travel now.”

Oliver left Diggle to sort the rest of the details out and walked over to the door. His hand hovered over the handle, afraid of what he would find on the other side. He tapped once, then turned the handle and opened the door.

She was standing by the window, her back turned to him. Her blonde locks were now a little darker, with her natural colour growing through. Closing the door behind him, Oliver stepped a little further into the room, coming to a stop at the end of the bed.

His eyes took in every little detail, and although he was worried, his heart felt lighter just being near her. He’d never given up hope of finding her, but sometimes keeping that hope alive had been hard.

“Felicity?” He said, softly, not wanting to startle her. He didn’t know what frame of mind she might be in and it scared him.

He saw her reflection in the window, her eyes closed tightly. He wanted so badly to reach out and touch her, but he knew he had to be patient. If anyone understood that, it was him.

Her shoulders stiffened for a moment and then she turned around slowly. The haunted look in her eyes pained him, but when he noticed the small scar, about half an inch long, above her right eyebrow, it felt as if someone had punched him in the gut. Everything he’d ever fought to protect her from had happened, and it was his fault.

Felicity walked forward, stopping directly in front of him. She tried to smile but it was weak, and her eyes wouldn’t quite meet his. “Hi.”

Releasing a shuddering breath, Oliver drew her in and wrapped his arms tightly around her. He felt her fingers digging into his back as he buried his face in her hair. Breathing in her scent, he felt the tears he’d been holding back for so long, start to fall. “I’m so sorry.”

Now that he had her in his arms, he never wanted to let her go again. She felt so fragile, and she’d lost too much weight for his liking. Thinking of her alone out there made him nauseas, she must’ve been so afraid. He tightened his hold on her, taking comfort in the steady beat of her heart against his chest, but he quickly released her when she let out a gasp.

“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” He held her at arm’s length, eyes scanning for any injuries.

She leaned on his arm, breathing deeply as she held a hand to her ribs. “No, I’m okay. I’m just a little sore.”

“You sure? I can go get the doctor.”

“I’m fine.” She replied flatly.

He couldn’t tell if she was lying or not, her eyes gave nothing away. He’d always been able to read what she was thinking or feeling in her eyes. The fact that he couldn’t now, alarmed him.

“Is John here too? I know they called him…”

Oliver tried hard not to take those words to heart, but something niggled at him. Had she asked them to call Diggle and not him?

“He’s outside with Roy.”

She nodded and pulled her robe a little tighter around her body.

Unable to stop himself, Oliver lifted a hand to cup her cheek and sighed. “I’ve missed you so much. I never stopped looking for you.”

“I missed you too.” She said, but her tone made him frown. She seemed so distant. “I have to say, Slade’s idea of a vacation sucks.”

It was an attempt at humour, but Oliver couldn’t even see the slightest hint of amusement in her expression. No, this was something else. Deflection. He knew it well, had practically perfected the art himself.

“Felicity…if I had known, if I’d had _any_ idea that-“

She held up a hand to stop him. “Oliver, there’s no point in going over it.”

She raised her eyes to look directly into his, and for the first time since stepping into the room, Oliver could see how truly afraid she had been. And still was. There was a shadow in her eyes that hadn’t been there before. He recognised the look, he’d seen it every day in the mirror when he’d returned to Starling, and it made him angry that he could now see it in her.

What happened to her out there? The scar on her forehead, it terrified him because he couldn’t bear the thought of her being hurt. But more than that, he found himself wondering if that was the only scar she had.   

Oliver’s keen eyes didn’t miss her flinch as someone knocked on the door. Instinctively, he turned and placed himself in front of Felicity, and he felt something tug at his heart when her hand gripped the back of his shirt.

The nurse stopped when she saw him, her expression apologetic as she shuffled over to the set of drawers next to the bed, and replaced the empty water jug with a fresh one. “Miss Smoak, I need to check your blood pressure now.”

She spoke in perfect English, as did the doctor, but she seemed a little nervous around Oliver. Giving her a small nod, he moved out of the way so that Felicity could sit down.

The nurse attached the cuff and began the process while Oliver took a seat next to the bed.

“Hmm, it’s still a little high.” The nurse said, frowning. “But everything else is normal.”

“Does that mean I can go home now?” Felicity asked.

“Doctor Montri will be in to assess you for release in a few moments. But I think you’ll be fine.”

Felicity offered her a brief smile as she turned to leave. “Thank you.”

She leaned back against her pillows and rubbed a hand across her forehead. “They threw your hoodie away.”

Oliver blinked at the sudden change in subject. “What?”

“Your grey hoodie. It was a little battered so the nurses threw it away. I’m sorry.”

Oliver stifled the groan rising in his throat and reached out to take her hand in his. “Felicity, do you really think I care about a hoodie? All I want is for you to be okay. That’s all that matters to me.”

She looked down at his hand covering hers; he would’ve given anything to know what she was thinking. But he didn’t get the chance to ask because Diggle and Roy appeared in the open doorway.

“Felicity.” Diggle breathed, moving into the room as Felicity got up off the bed. He quickly wrapped her up in a hug. “We’ve missed you.”

“So I heard.” She replied, pulling back so that she could hug Roy too.

“Are you okay?” Roy asked. Oliver watched the exchange with a growing sense of dread. She seemed more open to them, but with him, she was almost…closed off. It worried him.

“I guess so. I’m still alive, right?”

“Thank God.” Diggle said, smiling at her. But he soon turned serious when he spotted the scar. “What happened here?”

“Would you believe me if I told you that I walked into a tree?” She said with a small chuckle, and Oliver felt a bubble of hope spring to the surface. His Felicity was still there, she just needed time to come back.

Diggle crossed his arms and gave her a serious look, the one he always gave when trying to get the truth out of someone. “Depends. Did you?”

Felicity bristled. “Yes. I’m pretty sure I remember a very large tree meeting my head, Digg.”

Oliver caught the questioning look Diggle sent his way and shook his head in response. The truth was none of them knew what to say or do for her. Before he could say anything, however, there was another knock on the door.

Doctor Montri walked in with a smile on her face as she presented Felicity with some paperwork. “Felicity, I have your discharge papers here, I just need you to sign them for me.”

Felicity’s face lit up. “I can go home?”

The doctor nodded. “Yes, but you will need to see your own physician when you return. I’d like you to get a follow up at least. And make sure you get plenty of rest.”

“I will. Thank you.”

The doctor patted her arm gently and then walked out of the room. Felicity sat down on the edge of the bed and closed her eyes.

Oliver was out of his chair, and in a flash, crouching down in front of her. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

When she opened them, he was sad to see tears there. “I just…I really want to go home, Oliver.”

Grabbing both of her hands, he gently pulled her up. “Then let’s get you home.”

 

_**To Be Continued...** _


	10. Chapter 10

 

He couldn’t stop his eyes drifting towards the door. No matter how much Oliver tried to relax, he couldn’t squelch the fear that this was all just a dream. That they hadn’t found her and she was still out there.

They were almost home but Oliver wasn’t sure what would happen once they arrived. Felicity was sleeping in the bedroom of the QC private jet, and even the short twenty-foot distance was almost too much for him.

“Hey.” Diggle leaned forward in his seat. “What’s going through that head of yours?”

Oliver blew out a breath and glanced at a sleeping Roy before turning his attention back to Diggle. “A lot.”

Diggle’s eyes took on that look, the one that said that he knew what Oliver was thinking, even if he didn’t know it himself. “She’s okay, Oliver. We got her back. She’s safe now.”

“I know…” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “It’s just…an island? He left her on an island!”

Diggle smoothed both hands down his face. “I know. I can’t believe it either.”

“What’s Slade’s endgame here? I mean, why dump her all the way out here? It’s pretty clear that he didn’t think she’d be found.” He kept his voice low, not wanting Felicity to overhear him if she woke up. “He wanted her to die.”

“He did it to torture you, Oliver. And obviously he blames Felicity for her part in what happened to him.”

“That’s what worries me, Digg. He’s had a lot of time to plan this out. I can’t get into his head; I don’t know what his next move is. If… _when_ he finds out that Felicity got off that island, he might come after her again.”

Diggle’s face darkened. “He won’t get that chance.”

Oliver nodded and looked back at the door leading to the bedroom. “She looks so…different.”

“She’s still our Felicity.” Diggle said softly.

“That’s not what I meant. I’ve never seen her so vulnerable before. Not even when Slade had a sword pressed to her throat. She was so brave. I know what it’s like to be stranded on an island but even I don’t know what to say to her now.”

“You were on yours for five years, man. Plus you fought a lot of battles there too.”

Oliver’s eyes snapped to Diggle’s. “It doesn’t matter. Four months is a long time and she was there alone. I just can’t stand the thought of her being scared and cold, and…”

“And what?”

“We don’t know what happened to her out there.”

“She’ll tell us when she’s ready.”

Oliver closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I just want her to be okay, Digg.”

Diggle patted his shoulder. “Give her time, she’ll be fine. This is Felicity we’re talking about. No one can dim that light, not even Slade Wilson.”

Oliver sat for a moment, letting those words sink in. Oh, how he wanted them to be true, but the haunted look in her eyes stayed with him, refusing to leave. What if Felicity never recovered from this? She was strong sure; it was one of the many things he loved about her. But this…this was more than any human being should ever have to deal with.

Suddenly needing to see her, Oliver stood and headed for the bedroom door. He opened it slowly, barely making a sound, and then stepped inside.

She was still sleeping, and Oliver released the breath he’d been holding as he sat down gently on the edge of the bed. His fingers itched to reach out and touch her, to reassure himself that she was right in front of him. But he held back, not wanting to wake her. She was so exhausted.

It gave him the opportunity to look at her, and what he saw worried him. She looked so pale, and there were dark circles under her eyes. He’d been shocked at just how light she was when he’d carried her through to the bedroom. Initially she’d refused to give in, but soon after, the gentle hum of the plane had lulled her to sleep against his shoulder.  

Even in her slumber, Felicity wasn’t relaxed. He could see how tense she was holding herself, as if poised and ready for anything. That broke his heart, because he knew first-hand what it was like to live with any kind of threat hanging over your head. Whatever dangers she had faced on that island, she was still facing them now.

Unable to hold back any longer, Oliver reached out and gently moved a lock of hair off her forehead. He frowned when he saw the little scar above her eyebrow. How had that happened? He was trying so hard not to imagine the worst, but it wasn’t easy when a hundred different scenarios kept popping into his head.

With a little sigh, he stood and leaned over her, dropping the lightest of kisses on her forehead. She stirred, her eyes opening a fraction, and Oliver gave her a small smile. Before he knew what was happening, Felicity’s hand shot out, slapping him hard across the face as she let out a scream that pierced his soul.

“Hey, Felicity.” he said gently, but she couldn’t hear him.

She shot up and pressed herself against the headboard, away from him, and he gasped when he saw the sheer terror in her eyes.

“Felicity, it’s me! It’s Oliver; you’re okay. You’re safe.”

He held his hands out, knowing that the time wasn’t right to touch her. But watching her tremble almost killed him. He couldn’t stand it.

“Ol…Oliver?” She whispered, her eyes slowly focusing on him.

“Yeah, it’s me. It’s okay.”

She lunged at him as he sat down next to her, wrapping her arms so tightly around his neck that he couldn’t breathe. He didn’t care. He held her just as tight, feeling her erratic heartbeat against his chest.

They sat like that for a long time, just holding each other, and eventually, Oliver felt her racing heart start to calm. He felt guilty for frightening her, but he couldn’t deny that it felt good to have her in his arms.

It took him a moment to realise that she had loosened her grip, and reluctantly, he let her go. She sat back, hands nervously smoothing her hair down, and he felt a pang of disappointment when her eyes avoided his.

She cleared her throat as she slipped her glasses on. “Are we in Starling yet?”

“Almost. We have about half an hour until we get to the airport.”

She nodded. “Good, I’ll just go freshen up then.”

“I called your mom when we left the hospital. She’ll be waiting at your apartment.”

Felicity paused on her way to the bathroom but she didn’t turn around. “Thanks.”

Oliver sighed. The distance was back. He’d thought it was just a figment of his imagination at the hospital, that she was just shocked to see him or overwhelmed with all the attention. But this…this was something different. And it scared him.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

The car was silent on the drive to her apartment. Diggle was driving and Roy sat up front, leaving her and Oliver in the back. The journey from the airport through the city was much more jarring than she’d anticipated. The lights were all so bright, the noises so much louder than she remembered, it was all a little overwhelming. Closing her eyes, she leaned her head back against the seat and drew in a few deep breaths.

She jumped when Oliver’s hand covered hers, and before she could stop herself, she yanked it out from under his grasp. Although he quickly masked it, Felicity saw the flash of hurt in his eyes as he placed his hand back in his lap, and she instantly felt bad.

“Sorry, I’m just…still a little jumpy I guess.”

He shook his head. “You have nothing to apologise for.”

She nodded and offered him a smile but it felt strange. Something was different between them now, and as much as she hated to admit it, she had no idea what to say to him anymore. So much had changed and honestly, she wasn’t even sure if she was the same person she used to be.

“Felicity, we’re here.” Diggle’s voice pulled her from her thoughts, and she glanced out the window at her apartment. Finally, she was home. She turned back to Oliver, who was watching her with an intense stare. He looked as if he expected her to break down at any moment, and for some reason, that irritated her.

She reached for the door handle, but stopped and looked up at the three faces still staring at her. “Thank you for coming to get me.”

“Hey, as soon as we got the call, we were on that plane.” Diggle replied, his gentle smile soothing her frayed nerves.

She didn’t miss Oliver’s frown as she threw open her door and got out of the car. But as soon as she took her first step, he was right there next to her.

She forced a chuckle. “I still remember how to use my legs, Oliver. You don’t have to walk me to my door, you know. It’s not like we’re dating.”

She regretted the words as soon as they’d left her mouth. Why go there? It could only cause pain and she’d had enough of that lately.

Oliver either didn’t notice, or pretended not to. His expression was serious, leaving no room for argument. “Felicity, Slade is still out there. I’m not giving him another chance to get to you.”

The guilt was practically radiating off him, but she just didn’t have the energy to make him feel better about that right now. So she nodded and started towards the steps.

She’d made it up three of them when her front door flew open and her mother appeared in the light. Her eyes widened as she took in the sight before her.

“Felicity!” Donna Smoak barrelled down the steps so fast that Felicity was afraid she was going to take them both down with her.

“Mom, I’m-“ The air left her lungs with a whoosh as Donna flung her arms around her, and she felt Oliver’s hand on the small of her back, steadying her so that they didn’t fall.

“Oh my beautiful baby girl!” Donna cried, sobbing into Felicity’s hair so much that she didn’t have the heart to tell her that she was hurting her. “I was so scared! I thought I’d lost you forever.”

“Mom, it’s okay.”

Donna pulled back to look at her, and Felicity felt awful seeing the tears streaming down her mother’s face. _Damn you, Slade_.

“It is _not_ okay, Felicity. I didn’t know if I was ever going to see you again.”

Tears sprang to life in Felicity’s eyes, as she carefully extracted herself from Donna’s grip. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that, Mom.”

Donna cupped her cheek. “When Oliver called, I thought I was dreaming.” Her eyes immediately went to Oliver. “Thank you.”

Felicity had almost forgotten he was still standing there.

“Don’t thank me, Ms Smoak.” He replied, and though Donna only heard the words, Felicity heard the hidden meaning. He blamed himself for all of this; he didn’t think he deserved any thanks.

“Didn’t I tell you last time to call me Donna?” She moved over to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “Thank you for bringing my baby back to me, Oliver.”

Felicity watched their interaction as he hugged her back, and frowned. When had they gotten so close? As far as she knew, he’d only met her once, certainly not enough to be on a first name basis.

“Now come on, inside young lady, it’s too cold out here.”

Donna ushered her up the final few steps and into the apartment. When she looked back, Oliver was still standing in the same spot, looking a little lost.

“Oliver, don’t just stand there, get in here.” Donna said, pushing Felicity over to the couch in the centre of her living room. “Now you, sit. I’ll go get you some tea.”

She couldn’t sit, however. For the first time in four months, she was standing in her living room, it had been the one constant dream she’d had. But now she was here, she didn’t know what to do. Everything was the same as she’d left it, yet it felt so different somehow. Or maybe it was just her that was different.

“Hey,” Oliver said behind her. “Are you okay?”

She tucked her hair behind her ears and nodded. “One of these days, you’re going to stop asking me that.”

His mouth curved into a smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Today is not that day, I’m afraid. Probably not tomorrow either.”

Felicity sat down on her sofa, closed her eyes, and let out a long sigh. “You know what I really want?”

He kneeled down in front of her. “Tell me, and I’ll get it for you.”

“I would like to get out of these hospital hand-me-downs, and take a nice, long, hot bath.” She replied, dreamily.

“Oh, well I should probably let your mom take care of that.”

She let out a chuckle. “Probably. We should also call Lance too. Let him know that I’m back.”

“That can wait until morning.” He replied, standing back up. “I should get going too, let you get some rest.”

“Are you sure?” Felicity’s emotions were all over the place. She didn’t know how to act around him, but at the same time, she didn’t want him to leave either.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” For a second it looked as if he was going to lean down and kiss her, but then thought better of it.

“Oliver, are you leaving already?” Donna asked as she appeared with three cups in her hands.

“Yes, you two need some time alone and I have a few things that I need to take care of. But I’ll come by tomorrow.”

“Oh, okay. Well, thank you, again.”

Oliver opened the door to leave, but turned to take one last look at Felicity. There was something in his gaze that she couldn’t quite read.

“Thank you.” She mouthed, while her mother fussed around her.

He nodded, smiled, and closed the door behind him. Donna sat down next to her, and pushed her hair out of her face.

“Oh, Felicity. What happened to you?”

The concern in her eyes told Felicity that her mother was referring to her scar. “Oh, it’s nothing. Just a little accident.”

Donna tilted her head and raised her eyebrows. But when Felicity didn’t say anything else, she decided not to push it. “Okay, well you drink your tea and I’ll run you a nice, hot bath.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

_“This is impossible.” Felicity muttered to herself as she sat down to take a break. The sun relentlessly beat down on her, zapping whatever energy she had left. Which wasn’t much since she was still feeling woozy from whatever drug Slade had given her. Stripping the hoodie off, she tucked it into her backpack and took a small sip of water. The bottle was already half empty, she really needed to watch that._

_It had been less than a day, by her calculations, since she’d woken up here, and she had done nothing but walk around in what felt like circles. She was almost positive that she’d seen the same tree more than once._

_Since she didn’t intend to spend another night beneath nothing but the stars, she had to keep going. But it was so hard. Her feet burned and she was sure she had more than a few blisters by now. But sitting still wasn’t a great idea either so she stood up and carried on walking._

_She hummed a little tune to herself as she manoeuvred around the branches sticking out of the ground. Keeping her mind busy helped keep the fear at bay, at least a little. She tried to remember all the survival tricks that Oliver had told her on their date, without actually remembering the date itself. That was hard. But he’d made his choice, and he’d chosen to end it before they’d even really begun._

_Forcing that particular thought away, Felicity picked up the pace. She figured that as long as she kept walking in a straight line, she was bound to come upon something eventually. Because if this was all there was to the island, she wasn’t going to last long. Her stomach was already growling at her, but that was the least of her worries._

_Right now, she was more concerned with finding water and a safe, secluded place to sleep. She wasn’t sure if there was any wildlife on the island, but she knew that she didn’t want to find out._

_Lost in her thoughts, she didn’t see the small branch sticking out of the ground until it was too late. The toe of her sneaker got caught beneath it, catapulting her forward. Trying hard to grab onto something, anything, she rolled down what she could only describe as a hill. It wasn’t exactly steep, but her momentum made it impossible to stop._

_By the time she reached the bottom, she was going so fast that she couldn’t avoid the very large tree coming up to meet her. The sound of her scream echoed around her as her head hit the trunk and then everything went dark._

_When she came to, the first thing she was aware of was the blinding pain in her head. The second was something wet and warm trickling down her face. She groaned as she sat up, letting the dizziness subside before she dared to move any further. She pressed her fingers to her forehead and flinched when she found a small cut just above her eyebrow._

_She forced her eyes to open wide and then slipped her backpack off her shoulders. Struggling to focus, she opened her bottle of water and used a small amount to wet one corner of the blanket, and then pressed it to her head to stop the bleeding._

_As she applied pressure to the wound, she checked the rest of her body for any other injuries. Other than a few bumps and bruises, everything seemed to be in working order. Slowly, she got to her feet, using the tree for support, and glanced around. There was something in the distance, something big and grey. But without her glasses, she didn’t know what it was._

_She looked down at the ground, hoping that they hadn’t been broken in the fall, and was relieved to find them lying a few feet away, somewhat undamaged. Carefully, she lowered herself down enough to reach them. One of the arms had broken off, but that seemed to be the worst of it._

_“Well, that’s something I suppose.” She mumbled, slipping them onto her face._

_Leaning against the trees along the way, Felicity walked forward until she could clearly see what had caught her eye. It was a large formation of rock, with an opening in the middle. Almost like a cave. She moved up to the entrance and peered inside, but it was too dark to see. She didn’t know what to do, on one hand, the cave would provide shelter and it would be a dry place to sleep if a storm came in._

_On the other hand, she had no idea if something was living in there or not. The thought alone was terrifying. But she had to be realistic here, spending the night out in the open again was a bad idea._

_Taking a deep breath, she picked up a heavy looking branch and stepped inside. “Okay, Felicity. You can do this.”_

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Oliver knocked on Felicity’s door early the next morning. He should’ve waited until later, let her sleep longer, but he was eager to see her. It hadn’t been easy leaving her the night before, and the only thing that had made him feel marginally better was the knowledge that her mother was there with her.

However, that didn’t stop him from keeping an eye on her place throughout the night. He’d checked in several times during his patrol and once in the early hours of the morning, mostly because he hadn’t been able to sleep.

His over-active imagination had conjured up all sorts of horrific images, of things she’d had to face out there. The memory of her on the plane back to Starling had taunted him, her terrified scream still echoing in his mind. Eventually, it had driven him to hood up and spend an hour on a rooftop opposite her apartment. And even though he’d seen nothing of her, it gave him peace of mind. 

“Oliver, what a pleasant surprise.” Donna said brightly, standing in the doorway. “Come in.”

“Thanks.” He stepped inside and glanced around, but Felicity was nowhere in sight. “How is she this morning?”

Donna pursed her lips in thought. “She had a bit of a rough night. Couldn’t sleep for most of it, but when she finally did, she slept like a baby.”

“That’s good.” Oliver replied, glad that she hadn’t had any nightmares at least. “Where is she?”

“She’s just getting dressed.” She said, moving into the kitchen to pour them both a coffee.

Oliver nodded as he took a seat at the breakfast bar that separated the living room from the kitchen area. “Did she say anything, Donna? About where she’s been?”

Donna shook her head, a sad expression appearing. “Only that she was left on some…island. She wouldn’t tell me who took her, or why. Do you know something?”

Oliver was torn. He liked Donna, he really did, but this was not his tale to tell. If Felicity hadn’t told her the whole truth, he had to believe it was for a reason. With Slade still on the loose, Felicity would want to protect her mother. So he shook his head and took the cup she was offering him.

“Mom, what happened to my-“ Felicity stopped in the doorway when she spotted Oliver. “Hi, uh…you’re here early.”

“I just wanted to check in. I thought maybe you could use a little moral support when you go to see Lance.” He flicked his eyes towards her mother and she immediately got his hidden meaning.

“Oh, thanks.” She turned to her mother. “Okay Mom, this shouldn’t take long and then we can maybe go out for lunch or something?”

Donna frowned, reaching out to tuck her hair behind her ear. “Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you, sweetheart?”

Felicity clasped her hand. “Mom, this is something I need to do on my own. I’ll be fine, I promise.”

Oliver stood back, letting them have their privacy but he could see that Donna was struggling with staying behind. “I’ll take care of her, Donna.”

Both women turned to look at him. “Thank you, Oliver.”

“What am I, a care package?” Felicity said, clearly irritated as she grabbed a jacket off the back of the sofa.

“My most precious cargo is what you are.” Donna replied with a smile, kissing her daughter’s forehead.

“Okay, you’re only getting away with that sap because you’re my mother.” She said, but Oliver could see a hint of a smile on her lips.

Once they were in the car and Oliver was driving towards the inner city, silence descended. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see her fidgeting, her fingers and thumb rubbing together. He doubted she even knew she was doing it.

“So,” she blurted, apparently unable to take the quiet any longer. “Did you actually go out and buy me a whole new wardrobe?”

“Well I couldn’t let you come back to nothing, could I? Slade wanted it to look like you’d left, so he took your clothes. I don’t know what he did with them.”

She glanced down at the pink peplum dress, almost identical to one she’d worn in the past. “How did you even know what to get?”

He shrugged. “I noticed things. That and a personal shopper can do wonders.”

His eyes met hers briefly, and he could see a faint pink glow in her cheeks. She looked away first, reminding him to keep his eyes on the road.

“What else have I missed in the past four months?”

Oliver tapped his thumb against the steering wheel in thought. “Uh…well, Lyla had the baby and-“

Felicity’s hand flew up to her mouth as tears welled in her eyes. “Oh no! I missed it!”

“Felicity, I think it’s understandable.”

“No! I can’t believe I didn’t think to ask John about the baby yesterday.”

He didn’t think before reaching out and grasping her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “Hey, it’s not your fault. I think Diggle would understand why it wasn’t the first thing on your mind.”

She nodded slowly, but the tears remained. She looked so…sad. He couldn’t stand it. “You’ll meet her soon enough.”

“Her? It’s a girl? What did they call her?”

“Sophia.”

Felicity sniffled. “That’s really beautiful. Wow, she’ll be four months old by now and I haven’t even met her. I’m not a part of her life.”

Oliver scoffed. “That’s where you’re wrong, Felicity. Lyla and Digg were showing her pictures of you before she could even see more than a foot in front of her.”

“That’s so sweet.” She fell silent again, looking down at his hand still covering hers. A familiar wave of disappointment hit him when she gently pulled her hand away and stared out of her window. Okay, he definitely wasn’t imagining it; she was pulling away from _him_.

“How are things at Queen Consolidated?”

He cleared his throat before answering. “I think they’re fine.”

Felicity raised a quizzical brow. “You _think_? Please tell me you haven’t been missing important meetings for a company that you only just got back.”

He shook his head. “I haven’t missed any meetings.”

“Then why…?”

“Walter is acting C.E.O until I…until _we,_ return.”

He saw the shock register on her face. “Walter’s back?”

“Temporarily, yeah. He was very happy to help. He thinks a lot of you, Felicity; he was upset when he heard you’d gone missing. I just…I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t focus on the company while you were gone. I had to put all of my attention into finding you.”

She didn’t reply to that, so he carried on. “Sara’s around too, though we haven’t seen her in a couple of weeks.”

Felicity sat back in her seat, absorbing what she’d just heard. “Why did Sara come back?”

He blew out a breath and navigated a right turn. “She heard about your…disappearance and thought she might be able to help find you. She _wanted_ to help find you. Plus, she was taking care of the city a lot of the time too, along with Roy.”

Again, she didn’t say anything but Oliver saw her wipe her cheek once or twice. There was so much more to tell her, but he feared that the information overload was starting to get to her.

He pulled up outside the police station and cut off the engine. Turning towards her, he waited until she looked at him before speaking. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

She offered him a weak smile. “No, but what choice do I have?”

None, he guessed. Her disappearance had been the subject of news reports, articles, and a massive investigation led by Captain Lance. There really was no way around this.

Without warning, her hand shot out and grabbed his, the tightness of her grip alarming him. “Oliver, will you come in with me?”

He frowned; did she honestly think he’d let her go in there by herself? “Of course, where else would I be?”

Felicity nodded and smiled in relief. “Thank you.”

He wanted to reach out and touch her cheek, to feel her soft skin under his palm. Instead, he settled for the feel of her hand in his. “You don’t have to thank me, Felicity. I’d do anything for you.”

Her thumb rubbed over the back of his hand, leaving tingles in its wake. “I know. Come on, let’s get this over with.”

_**To Be Continued...** _


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this chapter turned into something MUCH longer than I'd planned lol. Enjoy and please feel free to let me know what you think.

**__ **

The Starling City Police Department was buzzing when Oliver and Felicity walked in. When a few of the officers caught sight of her, the whole place went quiet. Feeling a little uncomfortable under their scrutiny, Felicity pressed herself a little closer to Oliver’s side and she didn’t miss the way his arm extended just slightly, to cover her.

“Are you okay?” He asked quietly, his head close to hers.

She managed a nod as she glanced at the wall towards the back of the station. On it was a large picture of her with the word ‘MISSING’ right underneath. Nausea hit her hard as she looked at the red lines connecting from pieces of evidence to her picture.

“Hey, look at me.” Oliver said, turning her towards him. His eyes held an intensely protective gleam and she couldn’t look away. “Don’t think about that, don’t worry about anything. We’ll talk to Lance, get all this straightened out, and then we’re out of here. Okay?”

“What do I tell him?” She whispered. “I can’t exactly say that Slade escaped from a maximum security ARGUS prison, can I?”

“You don’t need to. Leave that part out. Just tell him the truth, Slade came after you…” His jaw clenched as he swallowed, struggling to get the words out. “He took you and…just tell him the truth, Felicity.”

“Okay.”

“Miss Smoak?” She turned around to see Quentin Lance standing close by, his expression shocked. “What uh…when did you…?”

“Hi det…Captain Lance.” She forced a smile. “Guess who’s back?”

It was uncharacteristic of him, but Quentin leaned forward and gave her a one-armed hug. “Thank God, I was starting to think…”

Pulling back, Felicity nodded. “I know, it’s been a while.”

“I’m so glad you’re alive. We’ve been searching for you night and day. Our _associate_ hasn’t stopped either. Come on; let’s go somewhere a little quieter.”

He led her past the staring officers and into one of the interrogation rooms. Holding the door open, he looked past her to Oliver. “You in or out, Queen?”

“He’s in.” She said quickly. “I want him here.”

Lance nodded and Felicity couldn’t shake the feeling that he knew something. She’d expected him to put up a little fight against Oliver being with her but the way he just accepted it was…unexpected.

She sat down in front of the table and rested her elbows on it, while Oliver took the chair next to her.

“Okay,” Lance said, taking a seat on the opposite side. He looked so different from the last time she’d seen him. His face was pale but he looked relatively healthy, considering what he’d gone through on the night of Slade’s attack on the city. “Well, I guess you should start at the beginning. How is it possible that after four months of being missing, you walk in here with barely a scratch on you?”

“It’s a very long story.”

Lance lowered his head to capture her gaze. “I’ve got time.”

Blowing out a long breath, Felicity stared down at the scratches on the table, tracing them with her fingertips.

“Felicity.” The softness of Lance’s voice made her look up. “Tell me who took you. It’s okay.”

“Slade Wilson.”

Lance’s jaw dropped. “I thought he was out of the picture.”

“So did I. I guess I was wrong.”

“Did he hurt you?”

Felicity could practically feel the anger radiating off Oliver. “No not really. He uh…he snuck up on me one night when I was getting into my car. I didn’t see him at first; I just heard his voice.”

She closed her eyes as the memories flooded back. “He asked me why I was so upset. Then I felt a sharp sting in my neck and the next thing I know, I’m hitting the ground. That’s when I lost consciousness.”

Oliver tensed beside her, his hands balling into fists underneath the table. Maybe it hadn’t been such a good idea to ask him to come in with her. He didn’t need to hear the details.

Lance’s eyes flashed with anger. “He drugged you?”

Felicity nodded. “I woke up…a long way away from Starling City.”

“Where?”

Felicity hesitated, unsure about telling him everything. There were things that she simply couldn’t share about her ordeal. With Lance or Oliver. But she needed to be as honest as she possibly could. “An uninhabited island in the Pacific Ocean. He dumped me there and when I woke up, he was gone. I haven’t seen him since.”

“Dammmit.” Lance sat back in his chair, shaking his head. “I’m sorry. Do you know why he came after you?”

Felicity’s hands started to shake as Slade’s sneering voice still echoed in her head. It had haunted her for a long time on the island. “He didn’t tell me. But I suspect it was to get back at the Arrow.”

“I thought as much.” Lance replied, his eyes flicking to Oliver then back to her. A sense of trepidation filled her; did he know that Oliver was the Arrow? If he did, he was keeping it under his hat…for now. But it was dangerous information for him to have, and she had no guarantees because she couldn’t exactly ask him about it.

Lance reached across the table and covered one of her hands with his. “I know this can’t be easy, but I need to know what happened while you were gone. You said the island was uninhabited, so you didn’t see anyone at all the whole time you were there?”

Felicity shook her head. “Nope, no one.”

His eyes zeroed in on her scar. “What happened to your head?”

Felicity waved a hand in the air. “Just an accident. I was trying to find shelter and I tripped and fell down a hill. Hit a tree at the bottom. It’s nothing.”

“How did you get off the island?”

“There was a storm; it forced a delivery jet off course. So they had to fly over the island I was on, and they saw my signal for help. I was taken to a hospital in Bangkok.”

Lance’s mouth tipped up into a smile. “You sent out a signal?”

“On the beach. I gathered rocks and spelled out the word ‘HELP’ with them.”

Lance nodded, impressed. “Resourceful.”

Felicity shrugged. “I had the time.”

His smile faded as he studied her, and that uncomfortable feeling she’d had earlier, returned. “But you’re okay?”

She glanced at Oliver, who was watching her with an equally careful expression. It made her nervous. “Other than a few bruises and a real hankering for a Big Belly Burger, I’m fine.”

Lance glanced down at her hands, which were still shaking. He didn’t believe her bravado for a moment, but thankfully, he chose not to comment on it.

“I’ll put out an A.P.B on Slade Wilson. It worries me that he hasn’t shown his face in the four months you’ve been gone. But don’t worry, we’ll catch him.”

She wished that were true. Slade didn’t have the Mirakuru in his system anymore, but he was still dangerous. “Thank you.”

Lance’s eyes softened. “I’m just glad you’re alright.”

“We all are.” Oliver said, speaking for the first time. His voice was barely audible, and she could tell that he was having a hard time dealing with what he’d just heard.

She patted Oliver’s hand under the table and smiled at Lance. “I’ll be okay.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

_The sound of rustling leaves jolted Felicity awake. She sat up, senses on alert as she wrapped the bla_ _nket tightly around her torso. It was still dark out, making it impossible to see inside the cave around her. Rubbing her tired eyes, Felicity tried to focus on the entrance, but it was no use, she couldn’t see a thing._

_Her hands gripped the blanket around her so tightly that her knuckles turned white as the rustling sound came closer. Something was out there. Or someone. She wasn’t sure which one scared her more. So far, in the four days that she’d been on the island, she hadn’t seen much in the way of wildlife. But she wasn’t naïve enough to think that there wasn’t any._

_Moving slowly, she got to her to feet and pressed herself back against a wall. A shiver shot up her spine when she heard a low growl echo around the cave. It was inside. She pressed her hand to her mouth to stifle her whimpers but she couldn’t control the shivers racking her entire body._

_Shuffling slightly back away from the entrance, Felicity inwardly cursed when her hand brushed against a loose stone, knocking it to the ground. The resulting grunt from the opening told her that she’d just alerted whatever it was to her presence._

_Crouching down, she quickly snatched up the rock, it was about the size of her palm, probably wouldn’t do any damage, but it was the only weapon she had. Squinting against the darkness, she could just about make out the outline of the thing as it edged closer to her._

_She took a deep breath and threw the rock as hard as she could. “Go away!”_

_It must’ve hit its mark because she heard a squeal, almost like a pig, and then it turned and ran out of the cave. Felicity sank to the ground, her eyes wide, and her hands trembling. She’d read Lord of the Flies, she knew that sound from the movie. A wild boar. And because of the book, she knew that they could be vicious too. She’d obviously taken it by surprise, scaring it before it realised exactly what it was facing._

_Still, the trembling lingered, and she couldn’t stop it. There was little hope of getting any more sleep, so she sat with her back to the wall, the blanket over her legs. She allowed herself to wonder, briefly, how everyone was doing back home. Were they looking for her? Of course they were, she knew that Oliver would never give up._

_Tears gathered in her eyes as she remembered the look on his face the last time she’d seen him. The pain was real, evident for her to see. But his words…she had forced herself not to relive that conversation, but sitting by herself in a cold, damp cave, his voice was the only thing she could hear._

_He’d stood there, avoiding her eyes as he told her the words she’d dreaded since his charity function had been hijacked. He hadn’t even needed to search for them; they’d just rolled off his tongue as if he’d been practicing them. That was the thing that hurt the most. He’d made this decision for both of them, and she was powerless to stop it. He’d given in at the first hurdle. Had she been so wrong to believe that things between them could actually work?_

_She closed her eyes, felt a tear run down her cheek, and leaned her head back against the wall. He’d said he loved her, she didn’t doubt it, but now she wondered if he had ever really been willing to give them a chance. If it hadn’t been the gala, it would’ve been something else. It was only a matter of time. But no matter how much she wanted to hate him for that, for the mess that followed it, she couldn’t. She missed him._

_She held the sleeves of his hoodie against her face, and as she breathed in, she found herself relaxing a little. Oliver’s scent still lingered on the fabric, filling her head, and her eyes grew heavy._

_The next time she opened them, she was surprised to see sunlight filtering into the cave. How long had she been asleep? Judging from the soreness in her back as she stood, it had been at least a few hours. She grabbed the backpack and stuffed the blanket inside, then threw it over her back and walked outside. Stopping, she tilted her face upwards, the mid-morning sun instantly warming her chilled flesh._

_After a few more minutes of soaking in the sun’s rays, Felicity set off, walking in a different direction today. She wasn’t sure exactly what she was looking for, but she had to do something more than just sit in the cave and wait for something to find her._

_A half-hour or so later, Felicity stopped and leaned against a nearby tree. Slightly out of breath, she sank down to the ground and let her head fall back against the trunk. The day was slowly heating up, becoming almost unbearable, and she could already feel the sweat dripping down her back. It was unpleasant and the fact that she hadn’t had a shower for four days made her sour mood even worse._

_As she moved to stand up, she heard a low rumbling noise in the distance. Frowning, she began walking towards it. As she got closer, she realised that what she was hearing was the sound of rushing water. It couldn’t be…could it?_

_Carefully, she moved forward, coming to a stop at the edge of a small cliff. “Oh wow.”_

_Her mood might be low, but even she could appreciate the beauty of what she was seeing. There was a large lake, with a waterfall feeding into it from a cliff higher than the one she was currently standing on. The water looked so clear…and so inviting._

_It took her a while to figure out a safe way down, but as soon as she was standing at the water’s edge, she was stripping her clothes off. Wearing nothing but her underwear, Felicity tentatively stepped into the cool water._

 

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Felicity was too quiet. They were in the car, on the way back to her apartment, and she hadn’t said a word since leaving the precinct. Several times, he’d glanced her way but she’d kept her eyes focused on her hands, her fingers toying with the hem of her dress. What was going through her mind? 

“Felicity-“

“I’m fine, Oliver.” She cut him off. “It was just harder than I thought it would be, that’s all. But really, I’m okay.”

Well, that was that. He didn’t know what else to say so he kept his mouth shut. He wished that she would open up to him, but he knew from experience that it would take some time. He understood that, but there was something about her body language that alarmed him. The way she was so closed off, so…vulnerable. The spark that Felicity always had in her eyes was gone. Something had happened to her out there.

“So…” Felicity said, changing the subject. “I have a hankering for a Big Belly Buster. How about you? I’d say my treat but, I’m all out.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Felicity.”

Her enthusiastic expression faded, quickly replaced by the frown he’d seen too much of lately, and he felt like an ass for being the reason.

“Oh, I wasn’t suggesting that we…I mean, I know things are different between us now and-“

“That’s not what I meant. I would gladly take you.” His words were having no impact; she was still looking down at her hands. “But your system needs time to get used to rich food again.”

“Oh. I didn’t think of that. I haven’t really eaten anything since I got home, so it didn’t occur to me.”

“When I got back from the island, it took me weeks to even be able to stomach much more than fruit. But I promise, as soon as you’re ready, I’ll take you out for a well-deserved burger with all the trimmings.”

She gave him a small smile and nodded, but didn’t reply. Once again, the car fell silent, and Oliver was unsure of what to say next. They were close to her apartment when Felicity finally spoke.

“You didn’t tell Lance that Slade took me.” It was a statement, not a question.

Oliver pursed his lips, unsure of her frame of mind. “No. I wanted to but…”

“But what?”

“Slade is a former ASIS agent, Felicity. He knows how to hide. Lance would never find him, not unless he wanted to be found. With everything that happened that night and the attack on the city, I didn’t want the focus of your disappearance to be about him. I needed the police, the media, _everyone_ , to be looking for you.”

She went back to staring at her hands. “The police won’t find him. Not before he finds me again. Or you.”

The thought of Slade getting anywhere near Felicity again filled Oliver with a rage so strong he couldn’t think straight. “That’s not going to happen. I promise you that.”

As he pulled the car up next to her apartment, her lips curved into a sad smile. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Oliver.”

“I _will_ keep this one.” He replied, his eyes locking on to hers. For a moment, everything else seemed to fade into the background and all he could see, all he could feel, was _her_. His whole body ached with the need to just grab her and hold her close, to never let her go again. The guilt he’d been feeling since the day she’d gone missing threatened to overwhelm him. It was his job to protect her. And he’d failed.

Giving into instinct, he raised a hand and let his fingertips trail down her cheek. She closed her eyes and for a split second, leaned into his touch. Oliver felt a spark of hope bloom in his chest when he heard a small sigh escape her.

“I won’t let anything happen to you, Felicity.” He whispered, moving his head a little closer to hers as he cupped her cheek.

Her eyes snapped open, his words breaking the moment, and she reared back away from him as if his touch burned her. He tried to hide his reaction, but it hurt. And the voice in the back of his mind taunted him. _She blames you._ _It’s all your fault._ It was nothing he hadn’t thought before, but seeing the way she acted around him, he was now sure it was true.

“Thanks for coming with me today.” She said, glancing out the window and then back to him with a smile that he could see was fake. “I promised Mom we’d have lunch so…I guess I’ll see you later.”

His thumb tapped against the steering wheel as she got out of the car and walked up to her apartment. Not once did she glance back at him. He desperately wanted to help her, but he had no idea how.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

In a small apartment on the outskirts of Starling City, Slade Wilson was grinning. The news report played in the background as he swung his sword from left to right, slowly. Felicity Smoak was alive and well, and back in Starling. It wasn’t exactly how he’d planned it, but then, it hadn’t been his intention for her to die out there. He knew she was strong enough to survive.

No, her death would come later. For now, he was satisfied with the fact that Oliver would be distracted, trying to ease her transition back into normal daily life. He knew Oliver well enough to know that this would be eating him up inside. For the time being, that was enough.

He breathed in deeply, closing his eye as he swung the sword down and then lunged forward, jabbing it into the air before him. He felt good, strong even. Straightening up, he placed the sword back into its stand on the table beside him, and picked up his phone.

A growly voice answered on the third ring. “What?”

“It’s time.”

“Already?”

Slade glanced out of his living room window at the city. “Now the real fun begins.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Later that evening, Felicity arrived at Verdant, surprised to see it still closed. She wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting, but seeing it so dark and quiet was a little unnerving. It certainly didn’t help the nagging voice in the back of her head as she quickly crossed the parking lot. Returning to the place she’d been taken was harder than she’d thought, and it wasn’t until she had the alleyway entrance door locked behind her that she breathed out a sigh of relief.

Maybe coming here was a bad idea; it had certainly taken a considerable amount of persuading to convince her mother to let her leave her apartment. But she needed to do this. For herself. She wanted her life back and she wasn’t going to get it by sitting around, waiting for Slade’s next attempt.

She could hear the familiar sounds of Oliver on the salmon ladder as she began her descent to the basement. Felicity had only just reached the bottom of the stairs when Diggle turned around.

His eyes widened. “Felicity?”

As she opened her mouth to respond, the sound of metal clanging and a muffled curse filled the air. Two seconds later, a very sweaty and clearly angry Oliver appeared right in front of her. She almost smiled at the fact that her first thought was that he was actually wearing a shirt for once.

“What are you doing here?” He demanded, breathing heavily.

Slightly taken aback at the hostility in his tone, Felicity moved around him and headed over to her computer station.

“I just needed some air.” She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw someone already sitting there. “Thea?”

Thea stood and offered her a smile. “Hey, Felicity. It’s nice to see you, I’m so glad you’re okay.”

She was so confused. What had happened while she was gone? It felt like everything had changed. “What uh…when did you get back?”

“A couple of months ago.”

“And you know about…all this.” She said, gesturing at the room around them. “I mean, of course you do. You’re standing right here. So clearly…you know.”

Thea nodded slowly, looking as if she were facing a caged animal. “Walter tracked me down, persuaded me to come home. Oliver told me his secret, and I’ve been helping here as much as I’m able to. Of course, I’m nowhere close to being as smart as you, but…”

Felicity didn’t miss the way Thea’s eyes flicked to Oliver, then back to her. “I see.”

It was irrational and petty, but Felicity couldn’t deny the stab of jealousy. Of course, she was happy for Oliver, he’d been missing Thea so much, but that little voice in the back of her mind would not shut up. _Replacement_. It was stupid but it was how she felt.

During her time on the island, she’d forced all thoughts of Oliver out of her mind. It hurt too much for one thing, but the few times her mind did wander, it was never good. The night of the gala, Oliver ending things between them, the pain of realising that she would never be enough for him. He would always choose this life over her. He would always choose the Arrow first. But now he had Thea here with him. She couldn’t put a finger on why that bothered her, but it did.

“Felicity?” Oliver’s voice broke through her thoughts, and she turned to see him watching her carefully, but he was still annoyed with her.

She couldn’t take it, the look on his face, the silent sympathy emanating from Thea and Diggle. She turned and bolted for the stairs, Oliver’s voice calling after her.

She was halfway across the club’s dancefloor when a strong hand clamped down on her upper arm. She winced when her torso protested, but bit her lip to mask the whimper. “Let me go, Oliver.”

She stormed over to the entrance, her hand reaching for the lever.

“Felicity stop!”

Squeezing her eyes shut, Felicity leaned her forehead against the cool metal of the door.

His hand landed on her shoulder, gently tugging until she was facing him. He tilted her chin up to meet his gaze and she saw the worry in his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She replied, shaking her head free from his grasp. She took a step back and folded her arms around her middle. “I’m fine.”

“You keep saying that, but I don’t believe you.” He pursed his lips as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “What were you thinking coming here tonight? Slade is still out there, it’s not safe.”

“I know that!” She yelled. “But I need to get some semblance of normal back in my life. I can’t sit around and wait for his next attack.”

“There’s not going to be a next-“

“Oliver, we both know he’s not going to give up. I want to find him before he finds us. The only way I can do that is to get back to work.”

He shook his head vehemently. “No, it’s too soon. You’ve barely been back a day. You need to be resting.”

She knew this anger was coming from a place of concern, and that was the only thing holding her back. But she wasn’t going to stand and take it either. She stepped forward, her eyes never leaving his. “I feel fine. I’m ready to find Slade and end all this.”

She could see a whole range of emotions cross his features, the last of which was fear.

He slid his hands up her arms, one coming to rest on her cheek. “Felicity, please…”

This time she forced his hands away. “You can’t keep doing that, Oliver.”

He frowned as he dropped his hands to his sides. “Doing what?”

She laid her hands over her chest, interlacing her fingers as if that would stop the pain. “Touching me like nothing’s changed! I can’t…it’s too hard.”

Oliver looked down at the ground as he scratched his eyebrow. “I can’t stop.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Why? Don’t you realise that it isn’t fair? That you can’t just dump me and then carry on as if everything is the same?”

His eyes flew up to hers. “I didn’t _dump_ you, Felicity. I was protecting you.”

“Well you did a lousy job!” As soon as the words left her mouth, she regretted them. He looked so hurt and that was not her intention. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.”

“No, it’s okay. You’re right; I did do a lousy job. In trying to protect you, I practically drove you into Slade’s hands.”

She let out a tired sigh, wanting to offer some words of comfort, but none came to her. “I don’t blame you, Oliver.”

“You should, and maybe deep down, on some level, you do.”

“I probably should.” Again, the flash of hurt in his eyes made her pause. “But I don’t. I can’t.”

Oliver shoved his hands into his pockets as he took a step closer to her. “You want to know why I can’t stop touching you?”

“Oliver, don’t…”

Eyes filled with such sorrow and regret captured hers, and she was powerless to look away. “Because every night that you were gone, I dreamt of you. Wondering what was happening to you. If you were hurt, or even still…” His voice cracked. “Alive. And now you’re back and I don’t know how to reach you. That look in your eyes…I’ve seen that before. In myself. Something happened to you out there. Something you’re not ready to talk about and I understand that you need time.”

She tried to swallow past the lump in her throat, as the memories washed over her.

He moved close enough for her to feel the warmth from his body, but his hands remained in his pockets. “So many nights I dreamt that you came back. That we found you, and when I woke up, it took a while before I let the reality back in. That you were still gone. So the reason that I do this…”

He lifted a hand to cup her cheek. “Is because I need to _feel_ that you’re here in front of me. That you’re okay and alive. Do you understand?”

His words stung. Of course she remembered them, from what seemed like forever ago. When things seemed less complicated.

“You came here tonight, by yourself. Don’t you realise how much that scares me? Why didn’t you at least call me? Or Digg?”

“I have to do this, Oliver. If I don’t, I don’t know how else to get past this. I don’t even know what ‘normal’ is anymore. But I know that I want it back. What I _need_ …is for you to trust me. Can you do that?”

Oliver groaned and leaned his forehead against hers. She stayed still, wanting so badly to give in to that delicious warmth.

“That’s not the issue here, Felicity. Of course I trust you, but Slade is still after you.”

“He’s after you too.” She countered.

“I don’t care about that.”

“You should.” She breathed. “I do.”

A sharp tug of desire jerked her to attention and she shifted away. Tension coiled in her shoulders. “You told me that I was a distraction.”

“What?” The sudden change in topic surprised him.

“You told me that you couldn’t be Oliver Queen _and_ The Arrow. For _months_ , I tried to tell myself that it was just because you were scared. But the first thing I see when I get back is your _sister_ in the Foundry. Is Thea not a distraction?”

Oliver closed his eyes briefly. “I never meant that, Felicity.”

“Yes, you did, and I get it now. You can’t be Oliver Queen with me, but you can with Thea.” The realisation hurt more than she thought it would.

“I didn’t tell her willingly. She followed me here one night and I had no choice. But I am glad that I did, we’re closer now than we’ve ever been.”

He searched her eyes and it took supreme self-control to hide what was happening inside her. “I’m happy that you have her back, Oliver. Really, I am. I guess I just hoped that you would realise that there was never a choice between Oliver Queen and The Arrow. I loved every part of you.”

He drew in a deep breath through his nose and nodded. “And now?”

“Now, I just want to try and get my life back. I can’t let Slade win.”

Silence descended as they both stood staring at the other. When Oliver spoke, it almost broke her heart. “Felicity…you _know_ how I feel about you.”

That was the problem, she did know. She could see it in his eyes. But he loved the Felicity he knew before the island. It was important to her that he kept that image.

She felt as if she were going to shatter into tiny pieces. How could she stand so close to him and pretend she was over him? She didn’t know, but somehow she would. He might’ve been the one to draw the line in their relationship, as short as it had been. But she’d be the one to make sure they never crossed it again.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

_Oliver stood behind the bar at Verdant, refilling his glass with Scotch. He knew he wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight, but maybe this would be enough to dull the pain for him to at least rest for a little while. It had been four weeks and one day since Felicity had gone missing and with each passing day, he grew more and more scared. And angrier too. There were no leads. His team had been working hard and still they had nothing to go on._

_Leaning his elbows on the bar, he stared into his glass. The amber coloured liquid offered no answers. He closed his eyes, but immediately opened them again. All he could see was her face, and it was killing him. Where was she? What was Slade doing to her?_

_Rage bubbled up inside his gut, and as it reached boiling point, he yelled out and threw his glass at the shelves filled with bottles. Glass shattered all around him, various liquids pooling at his feet. He was so distracted, staring at the mess, that he didn’t hear someone walking up behind him._

_“Ollie?”_

_His head shot up at his sister’s voice. A voice he hadn’t heard for so long. “Thea?”_

_Within seconds, he was in front of her, eyes scanning to make sure that she was okay. Then he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and hugged her tight._

_“Oh Ollie.” Thea murmured._

_“What are you doing here?” He asked, his voice uneven._

_She pulled back and studied his face. “Walter called me. He told me what happened, and that you needed me. Judging from the state of my bar, I’d say he was right.”_

_“I’m so glad to see you. You’ve no idea.”_

_Thea tilted her head and gave him a sad smile. “It’s Felicity, isn’t it?”_

_Tears gathered in his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. Because if he did, if he admitted for one second that she might really be gone forever, he wouldn’t be able to come back from it._

_“They’re going to find her, Ollie. She’s strong, she can get through this.”_

_He rubbed a hand down his face, erasing any trace of tears. “I hope so.”_

_Thea rubbed his arm. “Come on, let’s go home. You look like you’re ready to drop.”_

_“No, I have some more things to do here.”_

_Thea glanced around. “I think you’ve done enough damage for one night. You can destroy the rest of the club tomorrow. You need sleep, Ollie.”_

_“I can’t sleep.” He whispered. “Every time I close my eyes, I see her. Scared, hurt…or worse.”_

_Thea grabbed his face and forced him to look at her. “This is not helping her. You can't self-destruct! You need to focus, and to be able to do that, you need rest. Now come on, let’s go.”_

_With a reluctant nod, he started walking with her toward the exit. “I’m so glad you’re home. I missed you.”_

_“I missed you too.”_

To Be Continued...


	12. Chapter 12

**__ **

“Are you absolutely sure about this, Felicity?” Donna asked as she left her suitcase by the front door. Wringing her hands nervously, she turned to face her daughter.

“Mom, you’ve been here almost a week. You have a job to get back to and so do I. I’m okay now. Really, I’m fine; you don’t have to worry about me anymore.”

“But the police haven’t caught that awful man yet, sweetheart. I can’t bear to leave you.”

Felicity tilted her head and glanced at Oliver, who was standing off to the side. “Mom, I’m perfectly safe. I have Oliver and Diggle, they won’t let anything happen to me.”

“I know that. I know that Oliver will do anything it takes to protect you.” She said, giving him a pointed look.

Something shifted in his eyes. Something that Felicity couldn’t quite get a read on, but she could swear it was almost possessive.

Oliver nodded. “I swear, Donna. I will protect her with my life.”

Felicity didn’t know what to say to that, so she hugged her mother tightly. “I’m going to be okay, Mom.”

Donna pulled back to cup her daughter’s face, tears gathering in her eyes. “I don’t want to leave you. Four months of not knowing where you were…I couldn’t go through that again.”

Felicity could feel her own eyes misting up. “You won’t have to, I promise. But right now, I need to focus on getting my life back. And you said that your boss isn’t going to give you any more time off.” She tried for a reassuring smile, but wasn’t sure it came off that way. “Besides, I’ve got two of the strongest men I know behind me. I promise, I’ll be okay and I will call you every single day.”

Still, Donna didn’t look convinced. “Every day, without fail, or I’m jumping straight back on a plane to Starling.”

“You got it.”

Donna took a deep breath and moved to grab her suitcase, but Oliver swooped down and picked it up before she could.

“Let me get that for you.”

“Thank you, Oliver.”

He nodded once, and then left to go put the case in the car where Diggle was standing by to drive her to the airport. As she stepped out into the bright midday sun, Felicity realised that she didn’t want to say goodbye. It had been so nice having her mother here with her, just the two of them spending quality time together. They didn’t get to do that much these days. And knowing that her mom was with her, had kept the nightmares at bay, at least a little.

But she knew it had to be this way. With Slade still out there, they were all in danger, and there was no way she would allow her mother to get hurt because of her. No, the further away from Starling City she was, the safer she’d be.

Donna stopped one step below Felicity and reached out to hug her again. “I’m going to miss you so much, sweetheart.”

“I’ll miss you too, Mom. But we’ll talk every day on the phone. It’ll be okay.”

Donna frowned as she studied her daughter’s face. “Are you happy here?”

Almost instinctively, Felicity’s eyes darted to Oliver, who was standing next to the car, talking to Diggle. “Yes, I’m happy.”

Donna followed her gaze and smiled. “You’ve got a good one there, honey. Don’t let him get away.”

“I don’t have-“

Donna held up a hand. “Felicity, I know that look in your eye. And I also remember the devastation on that man’s face when he brought me to Starling to tell me that you’d been taken.”

“He did that?”

Her mother nodded, sending waves of blonde curls tumbling around her shoulders. “Oh yes, he was out of his mind with worry. But he felt that he owed it to me to tell me in person, rather than on the phone. He flew me out here as soon as he found out you were missing. So whatever is going on between you two, you need to forgive him.”

Felicity frowned. “Forgive him? What for?”

“For whatever it is that you’re holding against him.”

“I don’t hold anything against him. What do you mean by that?”

Donna sighed and smoothed her hands down her daughter’s arms. “You haven’t told me a lot about your time on that island, and I understand why. But I think that if anyone can truly understand what it was like, it would be him. But for some reason, I sense that you’re holding him at a distance instead of just letting him in.”

Felicity swallowed hard. Not for the first time, she wondered what Oliver had told her about them. Did her mother know more than she was letting on? Again, she felt out of place. As if the world had moved on without her and she was failing to catch up.  “It’s…complicated, Mom.”

“He clearly wants to be there for you, sweetheart. I’ve seen the way he looks at you when you’re not watching. Like he’s terrified that you’ll disappear right in front of him.” Donna kissed her cheek. “Just don’t push him away. He needs you as much as you need him.”

Donna stroked her shoulder one more time, then turned and headed down to the car. As Diggle opened the back door for her, Felicity replayed her mother’s words in her head. _Don’t push him away_. That was easier said than done though. The whole situation between them was messy at best. There were things that she couldn’t tell him. Things that still played on her mind.  

Forcing the words out of her head, Felicity glanced down to see her mother talking to Oliver. He was listening intently, nodding and smiling, and then he hugged her. Yeah, they’d definitely grown closer since she’d been gone. Though she didn’t know if it was a good thing or not.

She made her way down to the sidewalk in time to wave as Diggle pulled away. She could feel Oliver standing next to her, but he didn’t attempt to touch her. He hadn’t done that since their argument last week. She’d been in the Foundry only a couple of times, but he’d always kept a respectful distance from her. And she was annoyed at herself because she missed it. She missed _him_.

“Are you okay?” he asked quietly, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

She nodded and turned towards him. “I’m fine. What did she say to you?”

Oliver chuckled. “She made me promise to take care of you.”

“Oh.”

His smile faded as he stared into her eyes, like he was trying to look into her soul. His hand rose as if to touch her, but he dropped it at the last second. “Are you hungry?”

The sudden change in topic confused her for a second. “Uh, sure. I haven’t eaten yet today.”

“How about we go grab a burger?”

It was a sweet gesture, reminding her of when she’d asked him the week before. Knowing he’d remembered filled her with a warmth she hadn’t felt in a long time. Smiling, she nodded. “I’d like that. Let me just go lock up.”

“I’ll do that. Where are your keys?”

“On the table by the door.”

He was gone for a while, and Felicity smiled to herself, knowing that he was checking every window to make sure the place was secure.

When he returned, he dropped her keys in her hand, careful not to allow even a finger to touch her. Immediately she felt terrible.

Of course, he noticed. “What’s wrong?”

She shook her head. “Nothing. Everything’s fine.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

_“Mr Queen?” Oliver glanced up from his desk as his temporary assistant stepped into his office._

_“What is it?” He asked gruffly._

_“There’s a Ms. Smoak here to see you. She doesn’t have an appointment.”_

_Oliver closed his eyes, squeezing hard against the flash of Felicity’s face in his mind. It had been twenty-three hours since he’d learned she’d been taken. He was trying hard to keep it together, but he was failing. Being at the office was hard without seeing her beautiful face through the glass separating their offices. He couldn’t do it, he had other things to take care of, and Queen Consolidated was not high on his list of priorities right now. He’d already reached out to Walter, who had gladly said he would take over in his absence. Now came the hard part._

_It didn’t feel right to tell her over the phone, so he’d flown her here. It was all over the news by now and she deserved to hear it straight from him, not a reporter who didn’t care enough to be sensitive about it._

_“Show her in please.”_

_His assistant nodded and turned to the woman standing behind her. “Go right in, ma’am.”_

_The first thing Oliver noticed when he saw her, was the striking resemblance to Felicity. The second was that she apparently liked to dress as colourfully as her daughter did, albeit a little more skimpy. Her hair was blonde, falling in long waves over her shoulders. But her eyes…so much like Felicity’s; it sent a wave of fresh pain through him._

_“Oliver Queen?”_

_He nodded and held out a hand to greet her. “Ms. Smoak.”_

_“Call me Donna.” Her voice was slightly shaky, and he could tell from her eyes that she knew something was wrong. He gestured towards the sofa and sat down opposite her._

_“What happened to Felicity? Is she okay? Why couldn’t you tell me over the phone?”_

_Oliver tried to swallow past the lump in his throat. “This wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have over the phone, Donna.”_

_“Something’s happened to my daughter, and I want to know what it is. Where is she?”_

_Oliver drew in a deep breath as he leaned his forearms on his knees and clasped his hands together. “She’s…missing.”_

_Donna’s eyes narrowed. “What do you mean she’s missing?”_

_“I received a call yesterday. Felicity’s been kidnapped.” Those words were like glass in his throat. “The police are involved and we are doing everything we can to-“_

_Donna jumped to her feet and began pacing. “Oh my God. Someone took my baby girl? Who? Who took her? She has never hurt anyone in her entire life! Why would they take her?”_

_Oliver crossed over to her and grabbed her by the shoulders, forcing her to stop pacing. “I promise you, Donna, we are doing everything in our power to find her.”_

_Donna grasped his arms as if they were the only thing holding her up. Her eyes filled with tears as she looked into his, and her breathing grew faster and faster. “Who has my baby, Oliver?”_

_He couldn’t tell her about Slade. It was too dangerous. “I don’t know.”_

_“How could this happen?” She sobbed, throwing herself into Oliver’s embrace._

_Each sob pierced his heart until he felt as if he were visibly bleeding. “I’m so sorry.”_

_Something in his tone must’ve gotten through her grief because she reared back and looked at him. “This wasn’t your fault. You can’t blame yourself.”_

_“It is my fault.” He whispered, not surprised when she tore herself away from him, her eyes narrowing in suspicion._

_“What do you mean?”_

_“I…pushed her away.” At Donna’s confused expression, he rushed to explain. “We dated…”_

_Understanding dawned in her eyes. “Felicity spoke about you. Whenever she called me, she would always bring you into the conversation somehow. And I could hear it in her voice. She was in love with you.”_

_Her words caused him great pain. Because he’d taken that love and smashed it into pieces, and now…now he might never get the chance to take it back._

_“You love her too.”_

_He wasn’t going to deny it, he couldn’t. “Yes. But I pushed her away.”_

_Wiping her wet cheeks, Donna stepped a little closer to him. “Why?”_

_“I was scared.” He rubbed at his chest, unable to ease the tight fist gripping his heart. “She was taken from the parking lot outside my club. I’m so sorry, Donna.”_

_Donna reached out and placed a hand on his arm. “Oliver, look at me.” Her voice was a little stronger now. “This wasn’t your fault. Blaming yourself will not bring my daughter home. You will get a chance to fix it, but you have to get past all that right now and find her. I don’t know how, but please…find my baby girl.”_

_“I’m doing everything I can. Everything.” He promised._

_“I can’t lose her, Oliver. She’s all I have left in this world. When her father left us, it was just the two of us. Has been ever since.”_

_As more tears fell, Oliver grasped her hand tightly. “I can’t lose her either. I love her.”_

_Donna stared into his eyes, her gaze unflinching. “Then get her back.”_

 

_~~~~~~~~~~_

 

Sitting in the window seat at Big Belly Burger, Oliver smiled as he watched Felicity take the first bite of her burger. She closed her eyes and groaned.

“This is heaven!” She mumbled around a mouthful.

“I’m not sure heaven is the right word but I’m glad you’re enjoying it.” Oliver replied, relishing her reaction.

This was the second time in the past week that he’d seen her smile and it was like a ray of sunshine. The first time was when she’d met Sophia Diggle. She’d instantly fallen in love with the little girl and Sophia seemed to like her just as much. So much so that they’d spent a few nights having dinner with John and Lyla, while Felicity played with the baby.

Though he’d loved witnessing their bonding, it was also more painful than he’d anticipated. He knew he wanted a family, and more than anything, he’d wanted that with Felicity. But he’d been kidding himself, knowing that he’d let her go for a reason.

Now, as he watched her, he wondered if he’d been wrong all along. By letting her go, he’d put her in danger. The very thing he’d been trying to protect her from, happened anyway. Now that he had her back, he knew he was never letting her go again, so he found himself asking. What was it all for?

Felicity smacked her lips together, snapping him back to the present as she took a sip of her drink. Her hair was in its usual ponytail, but the dark roots were a stark contrast to the rest of the blonde locks, and he wondered if she was going to colour it again.

He watched as she attacked the burger with gusto, his eyes scanning every inch of her face. He wanted to reach out to her, to hold her hand or wipe the sauce from the corner of her mouth. But he didn’t. After their argument last week, he’d tried hard to be respectful of her wishes. And she was right, it wasn’t fair to her. Not after he’d been the one to push her away in the first place.

He could only hope that, given some time, she might open up to him. His eyes landed on the scar above her eyebrow, and again, that feeling of helplessness washed over him. He’d give anything to take her pain away, but all he could do was sit and watch her go through it alone.

“Oh my God, Oliver you have no idea how good this tastes right now. My taste buds are practically singing.”

He let out a chuckle, but then her smile faded. “Sorry, that was insensitive. I mean, of course you know what it’s like not to have something for a while and…I’m going to stop talking now.”

“Please don’t.”

“What?”

“I’ve missed your rambles. It hasn’t been the same without them. Far too quiet around here.” He threw her a wink as he picked up a french fry.

“Oliver, I have something I need to ask you, and I want you to keep an open mind.”

“That sounds intriguing.”

Felicity placed her burger back in the basket it had been served in. Carefully, she wiped her mouth with a napkin, and then leaned her elbows on the table. “I want you to train me.”

Oliver’s hand froze halfway to his mouth. “Excuse me?”

She looked unsure of herself, but there was a glint of steel in her eyes that unnerved him. “I want you to train me to fight.”

Horrified, he shook his head. “Absolutely not.”

“I knew you’d say that, but hear me out. Diggle’s been training me since I first signed on to help you. But that’s self-defence, and I need to learn how to _fight_.”

The thought of Felicity anywhere near a situation where she would have to fight, made him angry. It scared him too. “No. It’s not happening.”

“Why not? Why are you so against me being able to fight for myself?”

“Because you should never _ever_ be in a position where you’d have to. Felicity, what I do, it’s not easy. It’s dark and it takes me to a place that I don’t ever want you to go.”

She leaned back in her seat, folding her arms around herself. “It’s too late for that.”

“What does that mean?”

She shook her head. “It’s not important. But what is, is that I need to be able to handle myself if _…when_ Slade shows up again. I know he’s stronger than I am, but knowing some basics of actual fighting techniques could mean the difference between me living…or dying. If he comes back, I really don’t think he’ll take me to another island this time, do you?”

He couldn’t stop the shudder wracking through his entire body at the thought. Slade had gotten to her twice now; he wouldn’t let him have a third chance. “No, Felicity. You don’t need to fight because you won’t be in danger. I won’t let that happen.”

She smiled sadly. “That’s a rather naïve view to have, don’t you think? Considering what we do. Especially now.”

He let out a long sigh and rubbed his face. “The day I brought you into the team, I made a vow to always protect you. I may have failed, but I promise that Slade will not get anywhere close to you again.”

A disappointed look crossed her features, and he felt bad, but this wasn’t something he was willing to risk. Of course, he could see her logic, but that wasn’t the issue. She was safe in the Foundry, and he would make sure she stayed that way.

She pursed her lips and pushed her food away. “Oliver, this chivalrous act is really sweet, but I can’t go on like this. I need to know how to fight. If you won’t teach me, I’ll find someone who will.”

“Felicity, what you’re asking, it’s dangerous.” His voice lowered an octave, sounding similar to his ‘Arrow voice’.

“Exactly, that’s my whole point! I need to be prepared for danger. So the question is…will you train me, or not?”

Oliver slumped back into his seat, her words echoing around his mind. Yes, it was logical and it made sense. But it went against everything that he wanted for her. But he also knew that she meant what she’d said. If he didn’t do it, someone else would. And the thought of someone else’s hands on her, even in a teaching method, made his jaw clench tightly.

Obviously taking his silence as a no, Felicity moved to stand up. “Fine. I can always ask Sara. Who better to learn from than a member of the League of Assassins, right?”

His hand shot out to grab her wrist, and he saw her eyes widen in fear for a split second, before she masked it again. What was she so afraid of? It was more than just Slade on the loose. This was in her head, and whatever had happened, she was still terrified. “If we do this…”

Felicity sat back down, her satisfied expression irritating him. “If we do this, we do it _my_ way. You listen to everything I tell you. Got it?”

She nodded. “Got it. Hey, don’t worry. This might actually be fun.”

He doubted that. As he watched her return her attention to her burger, he realised, with a sense of pride, that Felicity had well and truly just played him.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

“I thought you were going to teach me how to fight?” Felicity said, later that evening, as Oliver steered her towards one of the training dummies.

He was trying not to get too distracted by the fact that they were alone in the Foundry, and she was wearing workout clothes that clung to every curve of her body. “I will. But you have to be patient.”

“Don’t tell me I have to slap a bowl of water.”

He chuckled as he leaned forward, his chin almost brushing the tip of her bare shoulder. “No. But the first thing I need to see is how well you can throw a punch.”

She considered his words for a moment, and then nodded. “Okay.” When he didn’t move, she turned her head towards him. “You might want to stand back a little.”

“Right, sorry.” He stepped backwards and watched as she raised her fists, jabbing the right one out and then the left.

“How was that?”

“Awful.” He admitted. When she glared at him, he shrugged. “You want me to train you, you’re going to have to get used to hearing things like that.”

She narrowed her eyes as she placed her hands on her hips. “I know what you’re doing, Oliver.”

“And what would that be?”

“You’re trying to make me back out. Change my mind. Well it won’t work, I need to do this. I need some sort of…control in my life.”

His smile faded at her words. Of course this was about control, she must’ve been feeling like she didn’t have much of that in her life lately. “Okay. Let’s try it again.”

With a resolute nod, she turned back to the dummy and raised her fists. This time, Oliver knew he couldn’t avoid it. He placed his hands on her hips, his thumbs coming into direct contact with her skin under the hem of her top. He heard her gasp, but she didn’t move, so he gently manoeuvred her into a better stance. “Place your weight evenly between your feet, strong foundation, stronger punch.”

She nodded, her breaths coming in a little shorter now as he absently moved his thumbs against her skin. If he leaned forward, just a little, he could brush his lips against the back of her neck. It was only when he found himself just about to do that that he pulled back, removing his hands as if he’d been burned. Clearing his throat, he nodded at her. “Okay, now try.”

She stared at the dummy for a second, drew in a deep breath, and then threw her punch. The resulting smack was a lot louder and the dummy actually rocked for a second. She grinned at him, clapping in excitement. “Yes!”

It was that smile that made him realise just how big a mistake he’d made when he’d said yes to all this. He was in trouble here. How was he supposed to stand here and see her so happy and not touch her? Though he was glad that, judging by her reaction earlier, she wasn’t as immune to his touch as she thought.

“Much better. Now try with your left hand.”

Felicity frowned. “But I’m right-handed.”

“Exactly. Both hands should be equally strong.”

“Oh, got it.”

When she turned back towards the dummy, her stance was all wrong again. Just as he was about to reach out for her, she corrected it herself. Pressing his hands against his thighs, he knew he had to take a little break before he did something they’d both regret.

“Okay, do twenty with each hand, slowly, then take a break.”

Her head whipped around as he walked over to the chair to grab his jacket. “Wait, where are you going?”

“I thought I’d go grab us some dinner. You’re going to be hungrier than you think when you’re done.”

He saw her eyes dart around the empty Foundry, and for a split second, she looked a little unnerved.

His palms itched to reach out and hold her, to erase that vulnerability in her eyes. “I won’t be long, and Roy and Diggle should be here soon.”

Forcing a smile, she nodded. “Okay. Hurry back though. I don’t want this to be the only thing I learn tonight.”

With a chuckle, he headed for the stairs, the sounds of the dummy rattling below him. He had to admit, he was impressed at how strong they sounded already. After shooting a quick text to Diggle to ask him to pick up some food, Oliver sat down at the bar and poured himself a drink. He wasn’t leaving her alone, but he needed some space to think.

This was a bad idea. He had no idea how he was going to get through it intact. His thumbs still tingled from the heat of her skin and her scent was stuck in his head. Barely ten minutes into training her, and he was already a mess. How was he going to do this?

He was no closer to an answer when Diggle arrived, carrying a bag full of takeout. Roy and Thea followed him in but when she saw the glass in Oliver’s hand, she frowned.

“Please don’t tell me you’re going to smash my bar up again.”

He snorted as he placed it back on the counter and stood up. “No. What are you doing here?”

“I didn’t know if you needed any help tonight. Is Felicity still at home?”

“No she’s downstairs.”

“How is she?” Diggle asked.

Oliver blew out a breath and scratched at his forehead. “I don’t know. Better, I think. But she’s still scared of…something. I don’t know what.”

Thea crossed her arms. “That’s not hard to imagine, Ollie. I’d be scared if Slade did that to me and was still on the loose somewhere.”

Oliver didn’t know how to reply to that, the guilt and anger he still felt hadn’t eased, but when he heard things like that, it made them flare up even stronger.

“Hey, this is Felicity we’re talking about guys.” Roy said, heading for the back of the club. “She’s strong, she’ll get through this.”

As they all walked down the metal stairs, the sounds of Felicity pummelling the dummy still rang out. Oliver frowned, pausing on the last step. She was supposed to have stopped five minutes ago.

He followed Roy and Thea down towards her, panicking when he noticed how red her knuckles were.

“Felicity?” Roy said, noticing the same thing. It was almost as if she wasn’t there. She was lost inside her thoughts. “Hey, Felicity.”

As soon as his hand touched her shoulder, she let out an ear-piercing scream. Whirling around faster than even Oliver could anticipate, her fist shot out and connected with his nose. Roy doubled over, groaning as he cupped his face.

Felicity blinked and glanced down with growing horror. “Oh my God. Roy? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” He mumbled, still bent over. Thea stood over him, trying to get a look at his face while she rubbed his back.

“I’m so sorry, let me see.” Felicity moved his hands away and gasped. There was blood streaming from his nose, down his chin and into his hands. “Oh my God!”

“Felicity, it’s okay.” Roy said, pinching the bridge of his nose with a wince. “Man, that was a lucky shot though.”

Oliver moved closer to Felicity, more concerned with the sheer panic in her eyes than he was with Roy. “Hey, it’s okay.”

“No! It’s not. I didn’t mean to hit him that hard. I’m so sorry, Roy.”

Oliver grabbed her upper arms and shook her lightly. “Hey, look at me. Roy is fine. He can take a beating, he does it every night.”

“Gee thanks, boss.” Roy muttered, letting Thea guide him to the nearest chair.

“But I did that. I hurt him and I didn’t mean to…I swear. I wasn’t…”

Her breathing grew faster as she stared at the blood on her hands, and Oliver was genuinely afraid that she was either about to pass out, or completely melt down. He felt useless, watching her go through this, because he didn’t know what the cause of it was. “Felicity, stop! Look at me!”

He cupped her face, forcing her to look at him. “Listen to me, Roy is fine. You need to calm down. Take a deep breath, relax.”

He breathed with her, slowly in, then out again. Her eyes were glued to his, and it took everything in him not to demand to know what had caused the terror he could see there. Eventually her breathing started to slow, but as the adrenalin wore off, her face paled.

“Come on, sit down.” He guided her into her chair and kneeled in front of her. “Keep taking slow breaths, try to relax.”

She leaned forward, elbows on her knees, as she stared at her hands. “I’m sorry.”

He gently tucked a loose tendril of hair that had escaped her ponytail, behind her ear. “You have nothing to apologise for.”

He stood and turned to face Diggle, who looked as concerned as he felt. The look in his eyes told him that he’d come to the same conclusion. That whatever had happened to Felicity on that island…it involved another person. What the hell did Slade do to her?

“I’m taking you home.” Oliver announced, grabbing her purse and his cell phone off the desk. She didn’t even put up a fight; she just let him guide her out of her chair, one hand on the small of her back as they walked towards the stairs.

She stopped next to Roy. “How you doing?”

He smiled up at her. “Bleeding’s already stopped. Don’t worry, I’ve had worse, and nothing’s broken. Go home and get some rest, Felicity.”

She nodded and then leaned down to give him a quick peck on the cheek.

By the time they reached her apartment, Oliver was relieved to see her looking a little calmer. The colour had returned to her cheeks, and even though she still kept staring at the crimson colour of her hands, she didn’t look like she was about to break down at any moment.

He unlocked her door and helped her inside, but she shrugged off his hand, and headed towards the kitchen. A second later, he heard the water running.

After closing and locking the door behind him, he followed her. She was furiously scrubbing at her hands.

“It won’t come off.”

Standing behind her, he reached around and turned off the water. “They’re clean, Felicity.”

She stood within the circle of his arms, frozen. “I overreacted tonight, didn’t I?”

He moved a little closer, pressing his lips to her hair. “No, something is still scaring you. I just wish I knew what it was.”

For a moment, she leaned back into his chest. “You can’t.”

“Why not? What are you so afraid of?”

He braced his hands on the edge of the sink as she turned around. Her big, blue eyes focused on his chest. “I’m scared that I’m not the same person anymore.”

“That’s ridiculous. Why would you even think that?”

Distractedly, her fingers played with the collar of his shirt. “I was alone for so long.”

He gently clasped her hand, pressing it against his chest. “You’re not alone anymore. I’m here.”

She closed her eyes and a pained expression crossed her features. “I know.”

Then the spell broke. Felicity blinked, eyes zeroing in on what they were doing, and she pulled her hand away. He could feel her pulling away from him again, closing herself off. He couldn’t let that happen, not when he was so close to getting her to let him in.

“Talk to me, Felicity.”

“I’m really tired, Oliver. I just want to go to bed.”

Disappointed, he nodded and let her go, following her into the living room. As she removed her hair tie, freeing her blonde tresses, she glanced over to him. “Oliver?”

“Yeah?”

“I know that the city needs you, but…”

Hope flared in his chest as he took a step towards her. “But what?”

“Would you…would you stay with me tonight? I just…I really don’t want to be alone.”

His heart squeezed painfully, like someone had their fist wrapped around it. “Of course I will. I can sleep on the couch.”

Tentatively, almost shyly, Felicity reached out and took his hand. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I’ve been so awful to you these past few days. I keep pushing you away.”

Drawing her closer, he wrapped his arms around her, leaning his chin on the top of her head.

“I was so angry. You hurt me, and then…Slade happened. I was alone all that time, and I tried so hard not to think of the way things ended between us. But sometimes, I couldn’t help it.”

“When I came back, you were so attentive and worried. And I just, I didn’t know how to deal with it. I didn’t know how to deal with you being so close, and knowing that things had changed so much between us.”

Oliver squeezed his eyes shut as her words sunk in. She did blame him. It was entirely justified, but it hurt to hear it.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered into her hair.

She moved back just enough to glance up at him. A small smile tugged at her lips as she brushed her fingertips down his jawline. “This wasn’t your fault, Oliver. You need to start believing that. I don’t, and have never, blamed you. But what I’m going through right now, I have to sort through it on my own.”

Unable to accept that answer, he shook his head. “No, you don’t. You can tell me anything, Felicity. _Anything.”_

Tears welled in her eyes. “I know. I know that you’re probably the only one who could understand. But I’m not ready to talk about it. I don’t know if I ever will be.”

Slowly, she extracted herself from his arms and crossed over to a closet to pull out a blanket and spare pillow. “Here.”

As he took them from her, she wrapped her arms around herself. “Thank you for staying. I appreciate it.”

So many questions fired through his mind, but he knew he wasn’t going to get any answers. He felt as if he was fighting an invisible force, an opponent that he couldn’t see but was all too real.

“You’re welcome. Goodnight, Felicity.”

She paused at the doorway to her bedroom. “Goodnight, Oliver.”

 

_**To Be Continued...** _


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A familiar face reappears, leading Felicity to finally confide in Oliver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowza, I am seriously bad at updating this fic. So sorry for the super long wait guys, I wanted this chapter to be as good as it possibly could be and my muse had decided she wanted to work on something else. If you're still with me, I thank you and I really appreciate it. Please leave a comment and let me know what you think, and enjoy :D

**__ **

“So we’re not using the training dummy today?” Felicity asked, stretching one arm across her chest, then the other.

Oliver finished dragging the training mats into the middle of the floor and turned to look at her. “No. Your hands are still too sore for that today.”

Looking down at her knuckles, Felicity nodded. They were still red, and the skin looked dry and flaky. Seeing it reminded her of what she’d done to Roy, and a new wave of guilt swamped her. “How is Roy?”

“He’s fine. Nothing broken.”

It had been two days since she’d punched him in the nose, but she still felt bad about it. Logically, she was aware that he’d had worse injuries in the past that he’d just laughed off. But this was worse, because she’d been the one to inflict it, and she hated that her hands had been capable of that. Especially on someone she loved.

Shaking herself out of her thoughts, she smiled at Oliver, who looked dangerously hot wearing his workout clothes. Though thankfully, he was wearing a shirt. She didn’t think she’d be able to deal with a half-naked Oliver this morning. He’d been so attentive in the past two days. He’d stayed each night at her apartment, sleeping on her tiny sofa. He obviously hadn’t been comfortable, but he didn’t complain once.

She felt bad for asking, but somehow, knowing that he was in the apartment with her, her nightmares hadn’t been so bad. At least she’d managed to avoid waking him when she’d woken up with a start, a cold sheen of sweat covering her body. 

“Okay, what’s the plan?”

He smiled and pointed to the mats. “Nothing too physical today. We’re going to work on strengthening your core.”

She frowned at him. “What’s wrong with my core?”

His eyes tracked down to where she was looking at her stomach, and she glanced back up in time to see the heated look in his eyes.

He tore his gaze away and looked her in the eye. “Believe me, there’s nothing wrong with it. But a strong core is essential for anyone who uses their arms and legs as weapons.”

She could see that he still wasn’t on board with all this, but he was willing to teach her, so that was something. “Okay, how do we do that?”

Ignoring the strange rasp in her voice, she raised her eyebrows at him.

“Let’s start with something easy.” He lowered himself down to the mat, and nodded for her to join him. “Okay, I want you to lie on your front and place your elbows on the floor so that your forearms are touching the mat.”

“Isn’t this just… lying down?”

He threw her a smirk as he lay down next to her. Putting his elbows on the mat, he looked across at her. “Now stretch your body out and raise yourself up onto the tips of your toes. Keep your torso straight for as long as you can manage.”

She huffed. “Doesn’t seem so hard.”

Oliver chuckled. “Well we’ll see.”

Less than two minutes later, it became obvious why he was smirking. She could feel the burning in her thighs, and her ribs were starting to complain. She couldn’t tell him that, however, so she tried to hold her position for as long as possible.

She glanced across to find him watching her intently. He didn’t seem to be having any trouble at all, which both intrigued and irritated her at the same time. On impulse, her eyes swept down the length of his toned torso, barely hidden beneath the black t-shirt he was wearing.

“When your hips start to drop, lower yourself down to the mat.” His soft voice snapped her out of her thoughts, and it wasn’t until his words registered in her mind that she realised her hips were indeed starting to drop. 

She fell to the mat and rolled onto her back towards him, surprisingly out of breath. “That was harder than I thought it would be.”

Oliver, who was _still_ holding his position, glanced down at her, his face inches away from hers. “It takes practice.”

He licked his lips, his blue eyes intense, and she became breathless for an entirely different reason. Oh, this was dangerous. They were too close. Her brain knew this, yet her body refused to move.

Agonisingly slowly, he lowered his body to the mat, keeping his eyes trained on hers. Just as the goose bumps began to break out on her skin, an alarm started blaring from her computer station. The effect was as instantaneous as a bucket of ice-cold water being poured over her, and she quickly got to her feet.

“What’s that?” he asked, coming to stand behind her as she sat at her desk.

“I set up facial recognition for Slade. Looks like we got a hit.”

Immediately Oliver was all business. He pulled up a chair and sat down next to her. “Where is he?”

Ignoring the urgency in his tone, she let her fingers fly over the keyboard, bringing up her programs. “He was spotted on Parker Avenue. Then an hour later…”

“Come on, Felicity.”

She typed faster, her fingers a blur. Oliver tapped his on the desk, and she could feel the tension rolling off him in waves.

“Felicity…”

“Rushing me won’t make this go any faster, Oliver.”

“I know but-“

“Just back off and let me work for a minute, okay?” she snapped. Instantly she regretted her tone, but right now, there was no time to apologise.

“Got it! An hour later he was seen on Blue Bay Road.”

“That’s near the docks.” Oliver said, leaning forward to take a closer look at the map. “Slade’s in Starling City.”

Nerves made her gut clench at the thought of that man being in the same city as her. Deep down she knew this wasn’t over for Slade; he had a much bigger endgame in mind. She just wished she knew what it was. Why was he hiding? Why didn’t he just try to finish what he’d started? All good questions to which she had no answers.

“There are several other sightings.” She said, changing to a few other programs. Mapping out his course, she sat back and stared at the screen. “Are you seeing what I’m seeing?”

One by one, the images popped up on the screen, each one circling a one square block radius. Somewhere on the outskirts of Starling, Slade Wilson was lurking.

“He’s somewhere in that block.”

“Looks like it.” She rubbed her bare arms trying to get some warmth into them.

Without another word, Oliver jumped out of his seat and headed over to his Arrow suit.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to find him.”

Felicity raced over to him, grabbing his arm before he could reach for his jacket. “You can’t.”

“Felicity…”

“No! We don’t know exactly where he is, Oliver. It’s too dangerous to go out there by yourself.”

The anger blazing in his eyes unnerved her. He wasn’t thinking clearly, and that was dangerous.

“I don’t care, I need to find him.”

“To do what? What are you going to do? Kill him?”

Her question stalled him for a moment, but when he looked down at her, she saw the answer in his eyes. “Oliver… please don’t do this.”

He cupped her cheek. “Felicity, I have to. I can’t sit and wait for him to come after you again. I won’t.”

“And you think going after him now is going to stop that? What if he’s working with somebody? What if he has someone working _for_ him? You’ll be in danger and I won’t sit by and watch something happen to you too.”

Oliver frowned at her, and she knew that she’d said too much. “What aren’t you telling me?”

Her eyes burned with unshed tears as she avoided his penetrating gaze. Panic was starting to set in, turning her blood to ice. She _couldn’t_ let him go out there alone. “I don’t want anything to happen to you, Oliver. Just… please, for me, don’t do this.”

Something in her expression must’ve gotten to him, because he stepped away from the glass case housing his suit, and dragged her into his embrace. Her breath came out in a rush as she buried her head in his chest.

“You’re right. I’ll stay. I won’t go after him without back up, I promise.”

She pulled back enough to look up at him. “Thank you.”

With both hands, he framed her face, his lips so close to hers. “But one day soon, I’m going to need you to tell me exactly what happened to you out there.”

Her body froze but she managed a weak nod, knowing that wasn’t an option. There were things that she could never share with him, for his own protection.

* * *

 

“I’m kind of surprised that you guys didn’t want to stay at the Foundry for lunch.” Felicity said, throwing her napkin onto her empty plate. Not that she was complaining, of course. After so many weeks of eating coconuts and anything else edible she could find, she was pretty sure she wouldn’t tire of a cheeseburger anytime soon.  

Sitting in a private booth at the back of the restaurant, Felicity felt safe enough to just sit back and try to enjoy the company of her two favourite guys. Diggle, who’d arrived at the Foundry moments after she’d convinced Oliver not to go out, was sitting opposite her, while Oliver sat to her left, which left her in the seat next to the window.

Oliver waited until he’d finished chewing before he spoke. “I thought we could use some fresh air and a change of scenery.”

She chuckled. “And you thought Big Belly Burger would be a nice change?”

She saw Oliver and Diggle exchange a look. “You know, you guys don’t have to babysit me. I am capable of functioning like an adult.”

“It’s not that, Felicity.” Diggle said, his warm brown eyes zeroing in on her. “We just think it’s better if you’re not alone right now. Slade is here, and that’s enough cause for concern.”

She knew that he was worried. The man who was almost like a brother to her, felt just as much guilt as Oliver did over her abduction. “I know, and I love you for it. But honestly, I’m fine. Am I worried that Slade is in the same city as me? Yes, of course. But am I going to let that rule my life? Nope.”

Diggle gave her a sceptical look. “And you shouldn’t. But it doesn’t hurt to have some back up does it? Oliver tells me your training’s going well.”

Felicity chuckled. “It would be if we could train long enough without getting distracted. I swear, every time we…”

Her voice trailed off as she caught sight of something outside the window. She blinked a few times; sure that she was seeing things that weren’t there. But when she opened her eyes again, she felt the blood slowly drain out of her face.

No, it couldn’t be him. It wasn’t possible. But there he stood, on the opposite side of the street, and he was staring right at her. She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. She peeked out of one eye, and then blew out a breath of relief when she saw nothing. He wasn’t there.

“Felicity!” Oliver’s voice finally got through to her, and she glanced over to see both Oliver and Diggle staring at her with concerned expressions.

“Where’d you go?” Diggle asked.

“Nowhere, I just thought I saw… someone.”

“Are you okay?” Oliver asked, his voice gentle, but worried.

“Mm-hmm. I’m fine, really. I do, however, need to go to the little girl’s room.”

Neither of them was convinced, she could tell. But she couldn’t give them an explanation. Nudging Oliver’s side, he eventually stood up to let her slide out of the booth.

Once inside the bathroom, she raced over to the sinks and splashed some cold water onto her face. Her hands were trembling so badly she could barely turn the tap on. Closing her eyes, she leaned against the counter, pressing her cool hands to her heated cheeks.

The door slammed open, banging loudly against the wall, making her jump so bad that she whimpered a little. A young girl with pigtails smiled shyly at her, and then walked into one of the stalls.

Trying hard to get her rapid breathing under control, Felicity forced herself to remember that she was okay. _I’m home now. I’m safe._ It didn’t work. She didn’t feel safe at all.

She stared at her reflection in the mirror, at the dark circles under her eyes that no amount of make-up seemed to be able to hide. _Okay, relax. You’re over reacting. Everything’s fine._ _He’s not here_.

Finally, the shakes started to subside, but deep down, she couldn’t stop the panic from lurking. Drawing in a deep breath, she released it slowly, and then repeated it two more times. Not wanting the girl who’d barged in to see her like this, Felicity fluffed out her hair, straightened her dress, and walked back out to the restaurant.

Oliver was deep in conversation with Diggle, his face pinched in concern. As soon as he saw her approach, he stood up. She saw his hand reach out for her, then he seemed to think better of it and dropped it down by his side.

“You okay?”

She nodded and gave him her best smile, because she didn’t trust her voice not to betray her emotions. She knew he didn’t believe her, that he probably had a million questions he wanted to ask. But she wasn’t ready to tell him. Once she did, things would undoubtedly change between them, and she simply wasn’t ready for that.

* * *

 

For the rest of the afternoon, Felicity struggled to concentrate. Sitting in front of her computers at the Foundry, her mind drifted. Memories of her time on the island resurfaced, reawakening that cold sense of dread deep within her.

“Felicity?”

She whirled around at the soft voice, and frowned when she saw Thea standing a good distance away from her, her hands raised slightly as if in defence. It saddened her that Thea thought she would lash out, but considering her reaction to Roy interrupting her, she couldn’t exactly blame the young woman.

“Hey Thea, what’s up?”

“I was just wondering if you needed any help.”

Felicity glanced back at her computers, at the lines of code running up the screen. She’d been trying to pinpoint a location on Slade all afternoon, and nothing was working.

“Uh… there’s not really a lot to do right now. I have every search program in the world running. Even some… not so legal ones. So far, nothing.”

Thea nodded and pulled a chair up to the desk. “Well then I guess I’ll just keep you company. If you don’t mind, that is.”

“Not at all.” She wasn’t sure what they’d talk about, or even if they had anything in common, but she appreciated the sentiment.

She turned back to her desk, typing a few things here and there, but mostly she just listened to the distant sounds of Oliver and Diggle sparring behind her. It was a little more aggressive than their usual sessions, but she knew that it was only because they had a lot of steam to blow off.

“So…” Thea said, swinging her chair back and forth, as she played with a lock of her hair. “I know from experience with Ollie not to ask about your time… away. But how are you doing now? I mean, it can’t be easy knowing that Slade’s back in town.”

Felicity sat back in her chair and sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose under her glasses. “It’s not.”

Glancing back towards the two men, she lowered her voice. “To tell you the truth, I’m scared. But I won’t let him win, Thea. I just wish I knew how to find him.”

Thea leaned a little closer and covered Felicity’s hand with hers. “You’ll find him. And when you do, Ollie is going to kick his ass all the way back to Lian Yu. Until then, do you think it might be a good idea for you to come and stay with us at the mansion?”

Felicity’s brows rose, she hadn’t been expecting that. “What?”

Thea rushed to explain. “I mean, I really don’t want to scare you anymore than you already are but… Slade already got into your apartment once. He’s _here_ , Felicity. I just think that you’d be better off with us than on your own.”

Felicity felt a surge of warmth from the genuine concern that was shining through Thea’s eyes. “Did Oliver put you up to this?”

Thea shook her head and chuckled. “No, he has no idea I’m even saying this. Although I doubt he’d be too bothered, he’s probably already thought of it himself several times.”

“Probably.” Felicity replied, smiling. “Look, Thea I appreciate the offer, I really do. But I can’t let Slade win. He already took something from me when he stranded me on that island. I can’t let him chase me out of my own home.”

Thea nodded, her short brown hair bobbing up and down. “I get that, I do. But honestly, Slade is probably the scariest person I’ve ever met. This isn’t about how strong you are, Felicity. It’s about your safety. That’s all that matters right now.”

Felicity pressed her lips together, feeling conflicted. Thea did have a good point. Oliver wouldn’t be able to stay with her forever, eventually he would have to get back to his own life. She couldn’t rely on him to protect her all the time. Yet, she knew that as soon as she was alone in that apartment, she wouldn’t be able to sleep. Every little noise would send her running for the hills. Maybe it would be better for her to go to the mansion.  

“I’ll think about it,” she promised. Thea gave her a sceptical look but nodded, before turning her attention to the computer monitors.

Felicity’s phone buzzed on the desk next to her, the screen lighting up to indicate a voicemail message. She frowned, wondering how she hadn’t heard the call. It wasn’t on silent, and there was no record of anyone calling her.

She pressed the speaker button and listened as the message began.

_“Hey, pretty girl. Did you miss me?”_

Felicity bolted up out of her chair, sending it spinning across the floor so hard that it crashed into Oliver’s legs. He turned fast, his eyes zeroing in on her immediately.

_“I’ll be seeing you very soon, sweetness.”_

Her entire body froze as the message ended, she couldn’t move even if she’d wanted to. That voice… she knew that voice. Nausea hit her hard as the fear took hold, making her shiver violently.

“Felicity?” She was vaguely aware of Thea’s voice somewhere to the side of her, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from her phone. Her knees buckled, and she felt herself falling, right before two strong arms banded around her waist.

Oliver turned her around to face him, one hand grasping her chin lightly, tilting her head up. “Felicity, breathe. You need to breathe.”

His voice was soft, but it did nothing to stop the shudders wracking her whole body. His other arm held her tight to him, his eyes remaining focused on hers. “Take a breath, that’s it… breathe with me. Relax, I’ve got you. You’re safe.”

The grip she had on his arms was so tight that her knuckles turned white, but he didn’t even flinch. She tried to do what he said, take one deep breath after another, but the fear was clawing at her heart, making it difficult. “I can’t… Oliver, I…”

Oliver pried one of her hands off his arm and placed it on his chest. “Focus on me, Felicity. I promise you are safe here; you’re not on that island anymore. Feel my heartbeat, and breathe.”

She closed her eyes, forcing the memories and images away, and felt the steady beat of his heart underneath her fingertips. Matching her breathing to his, she sagged against him, letting him support her weight. Little by little, the shudders dissipated, and eventually her breathing evened out.

“That’s good, keep going.” He murmured against her hair. “Try to relax. You’re in the Foundry, you’re safe.”

Her hammering pulse started to slow as she continued to take deep breaths. Oliver stayed right there with her, watching her closely, before gently lowering her into the chair that Diggle had placed behind her. He braced his hands on the chair arms, as he crouched down in front of her.

Tears filled her eyes when they landed on his arms. Just below his biceps, there were small half-moon marks from where her fingers had dug into his skin, some of which were bleeding. She reached out to touch them. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

He shook his head, once again grasping her chin to keep her focus on him. “Hey, it’s nothing.”

The fierce, protective glint in his eyes calmed her, and she glanced up to see Diggle and Thea standing behind Oliver. She couldn’t imagine what was going through their minds right now, but she could clearly see how worried they were.

“Felicity,” Oliver said softly, bringing her gaze back to him. “Who was that on the phone?”

Her pulse spiked as she replayed the message in her head, that eerie voice taunting her. She didn’t want to say the words, knowing that once she did, it would all become too real. But looking at the man in front of her, at the expectant expression on his face, she knew she had no choice.

She drew in another shuddering breath before beginning. “I… I wasn’t alone on that island. Someone came after me.”

In her peripheral vision, she registered the shock on Thea’s face. Diggle flinched though he didn’t look surprised. But Oliver… he just nodded as if he’d been expecting it.

“Slade’s working with this guy?” Diggle asked, crossing his large arms over his chest.

She nodded distractedly, concerned with the fact that Oliver’s eyes were firmly glued to her, almost as if he knew what she was about to say. That was probably true, if anyone could understand, it would be him. She huffed out a bitter laugh. “I’ve spent all afternoon thinking that I’m going insane. That I’m seeing things that couldn’t possibly be there.”

Understanding dawned in Oliver’s eyes. “You saw him, didn’t you? When we were having lunch?”

“But it’s not possible, Oliver.” she whispered, feeling the trembling in her hands start again. “Just like it’s not possible for him to be leaving me messages.”

Oliver placed his large hands over hers. “How do you know that?”

His voice was so soft, so tender, that it threatened to release everything she’d pushed deep down since her return. She felt a tear run down her cheek, and shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut. “It _can’t_ be real.”

“Felicity, please tell me.”

The desperate urging in his tone made her raise her head, her eyes locking onto his. “He can’t be here, Oliver. Because I… because I killed him on that island.”

_**To Be Continued...** _


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver finally discovers a little of what happened to Felicity on the island.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, I am back with a new chapter. I know it has been forever since I updated last and I am truly sorry about that. Life and another fic kinda got in the way. But hopefully this chapter will make up for it. Please, as always, let me know what you think. Reviews are always very much appreciated. Enjoy :D

 

_“Because I killed him on that island.”_

The words reverberated in her head, the silence following them almost deafening. Oliver crouched before her, his expression so carefully guarded that she couldn’t tell what he was thinking.  

Her watery eyes flicked up to Diggle and Thea, who stood side by side wearing concerned expressions. It was overwhelming.

Bunching her hands into fists, Felicity stood up and crossed over to her desk. Oliver stayed where he was, waiting patiently for her to begin.

After taking a deep breath, she looked up at the pipes that lined the edge of the ceiling. Having a focal point helped somewhat because she really didn’t think she could take seeing their expressions after she told them.

“It happened about a week after I was taken to the island. I think it was a week anyway, I can’t really be sure. I was trying to find something that was edible, something that wouldn’t you know, kill me.”

She paused, taking another breath. “I was trying to crack a coconut when I heard something behind me. It’s funny how being alone for a week can hone your hearing skills. I turned just as he lunged at me. I used every defensive technique that Digg had taught me, but he… he was so strong.”

She felt rather than heard Oliver move to stand behind her, his heat permeated her clothes and surrounded her like a warm blanket. She didn’t turn around, if she was going to get through this intact, she couldn’t look at him. At the sorrow and anger she’d most likely see in his eyes.

“Somehow, I don’t really remember how, I managed to get away. But no matter how fast I ran, he kept gaining on me. He chased me for a long time, taunting me, explaining exactly what he was going to do to me once he caught me. In great detail.”

That voice filled her head again, his words making her shiver all over. “And then… he caught me.”

Oliver inhaled sharply, but stayed silent as she continued.

“He uh… he tackled me to the ground. He pinned me so that I couldn’t move and…”

“Felicity.” The pain in that one whisper was almost enough to make her turn around.

Flexing her fingers, Felicity tried to ignore it. “He was so strong. He put his hands around my neck, and I tried to stop him as he started squeezing. I found a rock, about the size of my fist, just lying on the ground next to me.”

As one of her hands gently touched the skin of her throat, she scoffed. “It was almost as if someone put it there. So I did the only thing I could think of. I grabbed it and I hit him. I hit him as hard as I could manage.”

“I’m confused,” Thea said. “How is that not a good thing?”

Felicity slowly turned to face her. “Because as I tried to escaped, he lunged at me again, and I hit him… again. He fell to the ground, unconscious. He was out cold, no longer a real threat, not right then anyway. But I… I-“

“You kept hitting him,” Oliver said, his voice giving nothing away.

One tear made a track down her cheek as she tried to hold them at bay. “I couldn’t stop. I… he was _so_ strong.”

Diggle stepped into her line of sight, approaching cautiously as if he was afraid she’d break. “Felicity, you know that you did the right thing. No one can blame you for that. He was trying to kill you.”

Her gaze remained on the ground, her mind still reliving the terrifying experiences. “I killed him. I hit him so many times and then I-“

She sucked in a sharp breath. “Then I pushed him over the edge of a small cliff. I stared at him for the longest time.”

Diggle lowered his head to try to capture her eyes. “Felicity, it was you or him. You had no choice.”

Her fingers still rubbed at her throat, she could still feel his hands squeezing. “I took a life, Digg. And I knew, I knew that it was the right thing because I would’ve died otherwise. But leaving him at the bottom of that cliff, watching for any sign of movement, I felt… bad. I didn’t know I was capable of that.”

“You’d be surprised what people are capable of when they have no other choice,” Oliver said quietly.

Slowly, she raised her head and looked at Oliver; he was leaning against her desk as if it were the only thing holding him up. His face was pinched in pain, pain for her, and that alone was the reason she’d never wanted to tell him.

“Digg’s right, Felicity,” Thea said, walking towards her. “It was you or him. I, for one, am glad that it wasn’t you.”

She tried to smile, but her face felt frozen. “Thanks, Thea.”

Thea tilted her head and gave her a sad smile. “I hate to state the obvious here but, you didn’t actually kill him. I mean, technically he’s still alive, right?”

“Thea, stop,” Oliver growled.

Felicity closed her eyes for a second, pushing the renewed fear down deep. “I know, Thea. But up until today, I really thought I had. I’ve been living with it for a long time. And if the rock didn’t kill him, knowing that I just left him down there to die… no one deserves that.”

“Even if he would’ve done the same to you? Or worse?”

Felicity didn’t answer; she could feel her hands start to shake again. As hard as she tried, she just couldn’t get that man’s sneering voice out of her mind. It was on a constant loop, and the fact that he was now in the same city as her, terrified her.

Her breathing picked up pace again but this time, Oliver stepped up next to her, taking her hands in his before she could reach full-blown panic. “Relax, you’re safe here. Just keep breathing okay?”

She nodded, drawing in slow breaths as she clutched his hand tightly. “I’m okay.”

He didn’t look convinced but nodded anyway. “Listen, Felicity. I think you should come and stay at my place. Just for a few days.”

“Okay.”

“Slade being here is bad enough but with this guy… wait, what?”

She almost chuckled when he looked so confused. “I said okay. I really don’t want to let Slade win, Oliver. But truthfully, I don’t really want to be in my apartment right now either. It’s not exactly safe there anymore and it’s not fair to keep asking you to stay with me.”

“You know I don’t mind.”

She rubbed a hand down his forearm, her nerves starting to settle a little. “I know, and I appreciate it. I just… I don’t want to stay there anymore.”

“I’ll go get the car,” Digg said, dropping a kiss on the top of her head before heading up the stairs with Thea.

She turned back to find Oliver watching her. “I will find him, Felicity. I promise you that.”

Felicity huffed out a sigh. “Which one? I’m a popular girl right now; I’m on everyone’s hit list.”

Oliver’s eyes burned bright with determination. “I’ll find them both.”

“And then what?”

“I’ll do whatever it takes to stop them.” He cupped her cheek gently. “ _Whatever_ it takes to keep you safe.”

* * *

 

As Diggle pulled up in front of the Queen mansion, Oliver could feel the tension radiating off Felicity. She’d been quiet for the entire ride, and he hadn’t known what to say to make any of this better for her.

Watching her tell her story, he’d felt sick to his stomach at the thought of that man’s hands on her, hurting her, trying to kill her. He couldn’t bear the thought of her out there, alone and frightened. Now that he knew someone else had been there, he felt even worse.

Right now, all he wanted to do was wrap her up in his arms and keep her with him at all times. This man, whoever he was, was a new threat, one that he couldn’t predict. At least with Slade he had a reasonable idea of how his mind worked.  

Glancing across at her, he watched her expression as she looked out of the window. Something niggled at the back of his mind, something that told him that there was still more to her story. He wasn’t naïve enough to believe that she’d told them everything that had happened.

But why was she so reluctant to tell _him_ , of all people, that she’d killed someone? In self-defence no less. He understood that more than anyone else did. She knew that, so why was she punishing herself for something she had little control over?

“I’m so happy you got this place back, Oliver,” she said quietly beside him.

Oliver smiled at Thea, who was watching him with an expression he couldn’t quite read. “Thanks, me too. I couldn’t imagine it going to anyone else. It’s been in my family for generations.”

She patted his hand. “It’s your home.”

“Well, for the next few days, it’s yours too,” Thea said, moving to exit the car.

Felicity drew in a shuddering breath as Oliver opened his door. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m fine.”

He frowned at that, she was far from fine, but he wasn’t going to push it. She would tell him whenever she was ready. He realised that this must’ve been how his family felt when he’d returned from Lian Yu. Always wanting him to open up, feeling frustrated when he wouldn’t. Or couldn’t.

But as much as he was desperate to know everything that had happened out there, he respected that she had to tell him in her own time. He remembered that feeling of being crowded and pressed for information; he wouldn’t do that to Felicity too. So, for now, he had to be patient.

They made their way up the steps and into the main foyer. The dim lighting only highlighted the dark circles under her eyes as she stood there looking unsure.

“Are you hungry?” he asked. She shook her head and folded her arms in front of her. “Okay. Come on, I’ll show you to your room.”

Gently, he cupped her elbow and led her up the large staircase. _She’s so quiet_ , he thought. Nothing at all like her usual self and he missed the babbling that he’d come to love so much. The past four months had been too quiet without her.

“Here,” he said, opening a door to a large room. “Bathroom’s through there, and Digg said he’d bring your bags up in a few minutes.”

She stood just inside the doorway studying the layout of the room. “Wow, this place is bigger than my entire apartment.”

He chuckled. “Not quite. Uh, my room is right next to yours so if you need anything, just let me know, okay?”

“Oliver…”

“Yeah?” he asked when it was clear she wasn’t going to say anything else. She almost looked… nervous? But why? “Felicity, you know you can talk to me, right?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“About anything.”

She nodded, once again crossing her arms over her chest. “I know.”

His mind went back to the first night she’d asked him to stay with her at her apartment. He’d told her then that she could always tell him anything, but she’d pulled away from him and he couldn’t understand why. She’d told him that whatever she was dealing with, she had to do it alone. It made a lot more sense now that he knew some of what had happened to her.

“Felicity,” he whispered. “Why didn’t you tell me you were attacked out there? I could’ve helped you.”

“What, you mean like when you told me everything that happened to you on your island? Oh wait, that didn’t happen.”

Oliver blinked at her response. “Okay, that’s…”

“I’m sorry, Oliver. I didn’t mean-“

He shoved his hands into his pockets to keep from reaching out to her. He didn’t want to crowd her. “Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to apologise to me, ever.”

Regret washed over her face. “No, I do. That was uncalled for. I had four months on an island, you had five years. You went through so much more than I did.”

“Five years, four months… it doesn’t matter. You went through a lot out there too. Look, I know I’m not the best example when it comes to opening up, but I do know one thing. Keeping all this bottled up will only hurt you. It takes a toll, becomes a weight in your chest that you can never get rid of.”

“I thought I was a killer, Oliver,” she whispered. “I just… I’m not that person. I didn’t know how to live with that.”

She scoffed and shook her head. “I guess it doesn’t matter anymore, since he’s still alive and back on his mission to take me out.”

Tilting his head, Oliver let out a small sigh. “You were never a killer. You were just defending yourself. So please, don’t punish yourself for it. You’re a good person, Felicity. You’re sweet and caring, and incredibly loving.”

He moved a little closer to her. “You have the biggest heart I’ve ever known. And it’s because of that that you blame yourself for almost killing the person that was sent to kill you.”

He looked down at his feet. “I’ve killed. I know what that feels like, the way it strips little pieces off you. But you, you are the one person that knows how to put me back together, Felicity. I just hope that I can do the same for you.”

He was surprised when she surged forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down for a hug. He responded immediately, his hands pressing against her back to bring her closer.

They stayed that way for a little while, neither one of them moving nor speaking. Oliver swayed her gently, hoping that just by holding her, he could ease a little of her suffering. He felt a small tremble go through her, and tightened his hold even more. When he heard her sniffle, his heart seized in his chest.

He pulled back to look down at her, but she’d masked whatever she’d been feeling in that moment. Her eyes shined in the low light of the room as she reached up and cupped his face with both hands. Raising herself up onto her toes, she pressed her lips to his in a quick, chaste kiss.

It wasn’t enough, it would never be enough, but as she lowered herself back down, he had no choice to but to accept it. He knew that he’d made the biggest mistake of his life when he’d let her go. He also knew that he could never tell her that, not while she was dealing with all this.

“Thank you, Oliver. For being here.”

With a hand on the back of her head, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “There’s no place I’d rather be.”

* * *

 

“How is she?” Diggle asked, as Oliver walked into the kitchen.

“I thought you were going home to your family.”

Diggle shrugged as he finished his coffee. “She’s my family too, man. So, how’s she doing?”

Bracing his hands against the other side of the table where Diggle sat, Oliver sighed. “I honestly don’t know. I think today really took it out of her.”

Diggle’s eyes darkened. “What’s this guy’s agenda? Why is Slade working with someone else?”

Frustrated, Oliver slammed his fist down on the table. “I don’t know, Digg!”

Diggle nodded, unaffected by his outburst. “We have to find him. He’s not touching Felicity again.”

Oliver squeezed his eyes shut, Felicity’s voice filling his head as she described that man choking her. “Oh we’ll find him, and I will make him suffer for what he did to her. They are both in this city, Digg. I just wish I had a clue of what Slade’s next move is.”

“We need Felicity for that. She’s the only one that can track them.”

Oliver levelled him with a hard look. “I don’t want her involved in this; she’s been through enough already.”

“I know and I agree. But that’s up to her.” He watched Oliver carefully. “Listen man, I know that you want to protect her, we all do. But if she’s going to stand a chance of moving past this, she needs to help us catch them. She needs that closure.”

Focusing his gaze on the ceiling, Oliver shook his head and sighed. “I know. I just… I don’t know how to help her. She’s right there and I feel like she’s still on that damn island.”

“I think,” Diggle said as he stood up to leave, “you’re the only one who can possibly know what she’s going through right now. Out of all of us, you’re the only one qualified to guide her through this.”

He clapped Oliver on the shoulder and turned towards the door. “She opened up a lot today, but she’s got a long way to go. Right now, she needs _you_. So just… be there for her, man.”

* * *

 

Oliver woke up hours later, shooting upright in his bed, his breathing heavy and erratic. A flash of lightening lit up his entire bedroom, bringing with it a loud crash of thunder. He winced a little at the sound. His reactions were better than they used to be, he no longer woke up thinking he was under attack. But the loud boom still had enough power to wake him up to search for danger.

A piercing scream shattered the silence that followed the thunder. “No!”

He jumped out of bed and ran out of his room, coming to a halt at her door. “Felicity?”

“No! Please, don’t!” she cried, her voice filled with so much fear that it physically hurt him to hear it.

Throwing open the door, he found the large bed empty, sheets crumpled and tossed around. “Felicity!”

“Go away!” With a small sigh of relief, he found her sitting in the corner of the room, huddled between the wall and a set of drawers. She had her knees drawn up to her chest, her arms wrapped tightly around them as she buried her head.

Slowly, he approached, keeping his distance until he could fully wake her. He’d been where she was right now, in the throes of a terrifying nightmare, and it pained him to see her like this.

“Felicity,” he said, reaching out one hand to touch her. “Hey, it’s okay.”

Her head shot up and for a second, he thought she was awake because she was looking right at him. Then, before he could react, she kicked out, catching him in the jaw with her foot. He heard a loud pop, like a bone cracking, and he wasn’t sure if it was his jaw or her toes.

“Leave me alone. Just stop!”

Slightly dazed for a moment, Oliver moved back, waiting for her thrashing to subside. Touching her right now would only make it worse, no matter how much he hated watching her go through it. All he could do was talk to her.

“Felicity, listen to me! You’re home and you’re safe. I’m here.”

She was breathing so fast, it actually scared him. “Hey, you’re safe here. No one is going to hurt you.”

Another crash of thunder hit, and she yelped, pressing herself back into the corner as tightly as she could. As she curled in on herself again, Oliver inched himself forward. “Felicity, please wake up. You have to wake up now!”

She raised her head, but her eyes were shut tight, and the next words out of her mouth made his heart squeeze painfully.

“Please, help me.”

It came out as a whisper, one that he could barely hear over the rain pounding against the windows. But he caught it, and it hurt.

He moved closer, getting right into her space as he tried hard to keep his voice calm. “Felicity, honey, you’re safe. I’m here.”

He reached out a hand hesitantly, and paused when her eyes blinked open. “I’m here.”

“Oliver?” She frowned as if he were the last person she expected to see. Then, as she took in her surroundings, her face crumpled. “Oh God…”

He couldn’t bear it any longer; he reached out and hauled her into his arms, cradling her against his bare chest. Her entire body shivered as she tucked her face into the crook of his neck so he tightened his arms around her. “Ssh, I’ve got you. You’re safe now.”

“I’m so cold,” she whispered.

Gently, he dragged himself backwards, careful not to jostle her too much. When his back hit the bed, he reached up and pulled the duvet off, wrapping it tightly around her. She grabbed onto it and tucked it under her chin as he slowly rocked her from side to side.

He didn’t know how long they stayed like that, and he didn’t care. He’d sit there all night if it meant she felt even the slightest bit safer. But about half an hour later, when he felt her body start to lose some of its tension and her shivers subsided, he let himself relax a little.

“Oliver?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m so-“

“Ssh, don’t you dare apologise for this, Felicity.”

She leaned her head back, her beautiful blue eyes staring up at him. “I used to love storms before. I guess that’s changed now.”

He stroked his thumb over her cheek as he studied her. She seemed more alert now, but that fear still lingered in her eyes. “I know how you feel.”

Her fingers scratched lightly through his stubble, and he only just managed to hide the wince when she stroked over the spot where she’d kicked him. “I know you do. I’m sorry if this is bringing back painful memories for you.”

“It’s nothing I can’t handle,” he said softly, kissing her temple. “Come on; let’s get you back into bed, you’re freezing.”

“No!”

“No?”

“I just… I don’t think I can sleep anymore tonight.”

Oliver settled back against the bed, readjusting a little so that he could tuck the duvet around himself too. Wearing only his boxer shorts, he was starting to feel a chill in the base of his back. “Can you tell me what you were dreaming about?”

The fingers that had been touching his face dropped to his chest, tracing light patterns that tickled his skin. Judging from the faraway look in her eyes, she wasn’t aware that she was doing it.

“It was the man from the island. The one I thought I’d killed. He was attacking me again. He pinned me to the ground…”

“Hey, it’s okay, you don’t have to-“

“I can’t get him out of my head, Oliver. I keep hearing his voice, his taunts.”

“He can’t hurt you here.”

Her fingers stopped moving, and he felt the loss instantly as she pulled away a little. “I just want my life back. I don’t want to be this scared all the time. I don’t want to be weak anymore.”

He couldn’t stop the scoff escaping as he stared down at her. “Felicity Smoak, you’re the strongest person I know.”

A small smile appeared, and Oliver took that as a victory. “That’s debatable.”

“It’s really not. Look at everything you’ve been through, and you still get up each day wanting to do more to help the people of this city. That makes you pretty remarkable in my opinion.”

Laying her head back against his shoulder, she released a sigh. “You’re always here for me.”

Guilt flooded him. “Except when you need me the most.”

“Stop it. You’re not to blame for any of this, Oliver. I mean it.”

He wanted to believe that. But the truth was, if he hadn’t gotten so close to her, if he hadn’t allowed his feelings to reveal themselves, Slade would never have found out how he felt about her. She would never have been abandoned, fighting for her life on some island he’d never even heard of.

“You know, I can practically hear you thinking right now.” She cupped his cheek, forcing him to look down at her. “Don’t do that, none of this is your fault.”

He nodded but instead of replying, he leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers.

A shiver ran through her whole body and she huddled closer to him beneath the duvet. “Actually, I think I’m ready to go back to bed now.”

“Okay.”

Slowly, she stood up, as if testing the strength of her legs. When she was sure they wouldn’t give out, she held out a hand to him. He chuckled as she helped him up, and then climbed into the bed. As she did, he surreptitiously checked her foot, relieved to find no damage from when it connected with his face. Though he would probably have a bruise in the morning.  

He didn’t want to tell her what she’d done; it would only make her feel bad. Suddenly, the reaction she’d had after she’d hit Roy made a lot more sense. She’d stared at her hands as if she couldn’t believe they were capable of inflicting any kind of pain. Now that he knew about her attacker, and what she’d had to do to escape him, he understood her overreaction to Roy’s injury.

Taking a life, even in self-defence, did something to a person deep down. It changed them somehow, no matter how justified it was. He just hoped that now she knew she hadn’t actually killed her attacker, she would be able to heal.

Draping the duvet over her, he waited for her to settle into her pillows before moving away towards the door.

“Oliver?”

“Yeah?”

Her teeth worried her bottom lip, as if she was nervous. “The storm’s still going pretty strong. Would you um… would you stay with me? Just for a little while.”

It was a bad idea, he realised that. Being that close to her could only mean trouble for him. But that wasn’t enough to stop him. “Of course.”

He was about to climb on to the bed on top of the covers, but she held out a hand to stop him, and then pulled the duvet back. “Let me just go put on a shirt.”

She shrugged, running a hand through her messy blonde locks. “You don’t have to on my account.”

He suppressed a chuckle as he climbed in next to her. Oh yeah, she was definitely feeling better. Though he wondered if it was just her usual type of innuendo, or if she just didn’t want to be left alone, even for the amount of time it would take him to pop next door and retrieve his t-shirt from his bed. He had an inkling that it was the latter though.

Lying on his side, facing her, he watched as her eyes slowly started to droop. She was so tired, but he could tell she was scared to go back to sleep. He found himself wondering where she’d slept on the island. Had she found somewhere safe? Had she lain on the cold ground, shivering? He guessed he was lucky enough to have the fuselage of the plane to provide him with cover on his island. Or the cave that Yao Fei had taken him to. But what did Felicity have?

She tucked one hand between her face and the pillow, and focused on his chest, the other reaching out to smooth over the scar above his right pec.

He shuddered slightly as she ran her fingertips over the puckered flesh, but stayed silent, letting her explore.

“You have so many scars,” she said, distractedly, her brow furrowing. “So much pain.”

He put his hand over hers. “They don’t hurt anymore.”

Her eyes locked onto his. “But they did.”

“Yeah, they did.”

Something flashed across her face, an expression he couldn’t read. “What is it?”

She opened her mouth to say something, but then seemed to think better of it and closed it again. “Oh, it’s nothing.”

 _No, there’s something_ , he thought.

Her eyes lingered on his scars, and she looked so incredibly sad in that moment. She’d seen them hundreds of times before, whenever he trained shirtless in the Foundry, and he _knew_ she’d been looking. So why were they suddenly bothering her now? Why did the sight of them make her so sad?

He wanted to ask, but she’d been through more than enough tonight. “Felicity…”

“Hmm?”

“Try to get some sleep.”

Her tongue poked out to lick her lips, an action that quickly drew his attention. “I don’t know if I can. I was doing so well. This is the first really bad nightmare I’ve had since I’ve been back.”

That wasn’t entirely true, he thought. He’d heard her wake plenty of times during his stay at her apartment. He tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, his thumb lingering to caress her cheek. “You don’t have to hide anything from me, Felicity. I know you haven’t been sleeping well.”

She shot him a sheepish look. “You heard that huh? I was trying not to wake you, I wasn’t hiding anything.”

“You can always wake me; I don’t really sleep a lot either.” Tightening his fingers around hers, he pressed her hand against his chest. “I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere. You can sleep now, you’re safe.”

 

_**To Be Continued....** _


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity shares more about her time on the island.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So turns out Camp Nano is a great thing. Got this written out and edited in just under six days. I really hope you enjoy it, this is an important turning point in the story, and since there was a lot going on, it's an extra long chapter. Please enjoy and let me know what you think, I love hearing from you guys. Thanks :D

Oliver awoke early the next morning, his heart beating a furious rhythm as he tried to catch his breath. Pressing his lips tightly together, he tried to banish the horrifying images of his nightmare from his mind. It had been a while since he’d had one so vivid, and it all centred around one person.

 _Felicity_.

In his nightmare, she was being tortured repeatedly. Crying out for him, her voice shaking, as he tried to reach for her. Each time he got within arm’s reach, the scene shifted and a different scenario took its place. But throughout the whole dream, one thing remained the same. Slade stood in the background, that awful sneer on his face as he enjoyed the things he had done to her. 

He glanced to his left, a soft sigh escaping him as he took in her sleeping form. Thankfully, he hadn’t woken her. Sometime during the night, she’d curled herself into him, her face burrowing into the edge of his pillow. It took him a moment to realise that he’d also done the same, his legs entwined with hers beneath the covers. He had a sneaking suspicion that it was the most relaxed sleep she’d had in months.

The fear that had been clogging his throat upon waking slowly diminished as he studied her. This was the closest he’d been to her since her return from the island, and it felt… glorious. All those months of worrying, wondering where she was, and if she was okay had taken more of a toll on him than he’d realised. He missed being able to hold her, to kiss her and show her exactly how he felt.

But he could no longer do that, and that was his fault. He needed to accept that. Right now, she needed him to be there for her as a friend, and that’s exactly what he would do.

With her skin warm against his, her soft breath tickling his neck, he could easily get lost and drift back to sleep. He wanted nothing more, but he had enough presence of mind to know that she would probably feel a little awkward if she woke up in that position.

He’d seen her at her most vulnerable last night, and he had no idea how she was going to feel about it. The last thing he wanted was to crowd her, and their close proximity made him all too aware that he was still shirtless.

“I can hear you thinking again,” she murmured, eyes still closed. “What time is it?”

“Still early, go back to sleep.”

She cracked one eye open and then the other, glancing over at him with a sheepish expression. “Hi.”

“Hey,” he breathed.

“You’re still here.”

He frowned at that. “Did you really think I wouldn’t be?”

She shrugged. “I wasn’t sure. Thank you though, for staying with me. I promise it will not be a nightly thing. I guess with the storm and staying in a new place… it all just got on top of me.”

“Felicity,” he interrupted. “You never have to thank me. Ever.”

She nodded and closed her eyes long enough for Oliver to wonder if she’d fallen back to sleep. But when she opened them, her gaze fell to his bare chest.

“There were a few storms on the island…” she started, trailing off as her eyes took on that glassy, distracted look. “The thunder boomed through the cave that I was sleeping in, it was _so_ loud.”

He stayed silent, sensing that she was about to open up about her time there, and he didn’t want to distract her from that.

“Was it cold on your island?” she asked, not giving him a chance to reply before she continued. “The days were hot, but the nights… it was freezing there.”

Oliver swallowed thickly, torn between needing to hear more about what had happened to her out there, yet at the same time, not wanting to know at all. It made him angry that she’d ever had to endure any of it.

“Slade left me a blanket at least. Which I guess was nice of him. That was all I had really, and your hoodie.”

Her face crumpled for a second. “I miss that thing. I can’t believe the nurse threw it out.”

“It’s just a hoodie, Felicity. We can get you a new one.”

A panicked look flashed across her face for a second. “It wasn’t _just_ a hoodie to me, Oliver. It was...”

She shook her head, making a wave of blonde hair fall across her face. Gently, he reached out and smoothed it back behind her ear, letting his hand linger there for longer than necessary. Finally, she was opening up to him, but he was scared of ruining the moment.

Her eyes reached his as she removed his hand. Half expecting her to push him away, he was surprised when she laced her fingers through his instead.

“I can’t explain it, but that hoodie... sometimes it was the only thing keeping me going. At night when it was cold and dark and all I had was a blanket, that hoodie... _your_ hoodie, kept me warm. It uh, it smelled like you.”

He drew in a deep breath, letting it out slowly through his nose. It took everything he had right then not to haul her into his arms and hold her tight. Every part of him screamed out to protect her, even from having to talk about what she’d been through.

Frowning, she smoothed her thumb over his knuckles. “I was still angry with you. I was for a long time. I didn’t know how to feel about you anymore. Things between us went so wrong so fast.”

His heart squeezed painfully in his chest. “I know. That was all my fault. I should never-“

She placed her hand over his mouth, cutting him off. “I don’t want you to be sorry, Oliver. That’s not why I’m telling you this. I just needed you to know that you were a huge part of the reason that I survived out there. That stupid hoodie gave me something to hold on to. I tried to forget about you, I _tried_ so hard to move past what had happened because it couldn’t help me there.”

She scoffed. “But every time I caught a whiff of you, I... I let myself remember. I thought of you, of what you were doing back home. No matter how things ended between us, I knew that you would be doing everything you could to find me. Because… that’s who you are.”

Her words hit him like a punch to the gut. Why did she continue to have so much faith in him when he’d done nothing but let her down? “I tried, Felicity. I failed. But I never thought he would do something like that.”

This time, she reached up to cup his cheek. “None of us could’ve predicted that. I don’t blame you for it. Eventually your smell faded but I didn’t feel so alone when I was wearing it.”

“We can get you a new one, Felicity. _I_ will get you a new one,” he promised, determined to give her anything she might want or need.

A brief, sad smile appeared. “It won’t be the same.”

Her eyes locked onto his and he caught the hidden meaning in her words. It wouldn’t smell like him. An idea popped into his head as he smiled.

“Well, we’ll make it the same,” he replied, moving towards the edge of the bed. “Come on, let’s go get some breakfast.”

Felicity’s nose wrinkled up in a way that was so adorable, he had to move away before he did something stupid… like kiss her. “I’m really not that hungry.”

“Felicity, you haven’t eaten anything since lunch yesterday. You need to eat something.”

She stretched out fully, her back arching off the bed, drawing his attention to places it shouldn’t be going.

“You honestly expect me to get out of this gorgeously, luxurious bed? At this hour?”

He pulled the covers off her, biting his lip against the urge to smile as she growled at him. Her glare only slightly undermined by her tousled bed hair sticking out at all angles.

“Fine, but there had better be pancakes involved _with_ syrup. And lots of coffee too.”

It wasn’t exactly the healthiest of breakfasts, but Oliver was willing to give her anything she wanted. Not only to cheer her up, but also to help her gain a little of the weight she’d lost on the island.

He walked towards the door, turning back to look at her as he opened it. “I would never deprive you of your caffeine; I value my life too much.”

Her resulting chuckle was a sound he’d missed far too much lately. “I always knew you were a smart man.”

 

* * *

 

“So how about we do another core exercise today?” Oliver asked, later that evening. He stood facing Felicity in the middle of the training mats looking unfairly gorgeous in a black t-shirt and sweatpants. They were currently alone since Diggle was at home with Lyla and the baby, and Roy was visiting Thea at the mansion.  

Rolling the sleeves of her sweatshirt up to her elbows, Felicity planted her hands on her hips. “Oliver, this is ridiculous. I need to learn how to fight, not burn belly fat.”

She understood what he was doing, trying to find calming ways of training in the hopes that maybe she would relax a little, but she couldn’t. She’d been tense all day and the nightmare she’d endured last night had been clinging on for dear life. No matter what she did, whenever she closed her eyes, she felt the terror sweep through her. It felt just like being back on the island. Sometimes she wondered if she would ever be free of that place.

She was having trouble with the fact that her attacker was currently in the same city as her, and none of them could do a thing about it until he made a move to reveal himself. She didn’t know his name, which only served to frustrate her more because she couldn’t find anything on him. It was almost as if Slade had hired a ghost to come after her.

Oliver sighed as he mirrored her pose, both hands fisted on his hips. “I told you, you need to build up your strength first. It won’t do you any good to be able to fight if you don’t have the strength to put behind your moves.”

“And if something happens to me before then?”

His expression darkened almost instantly. “That’s not going to happen, Felicity. But if we’re going to do this, we’re going to do it right. There’s too much room for error and the slightest hesitation could get you killed.”

She threw her hands up in the air, her annoyance reaching a new level. “We don’t have time! Slade is here, that guy is _here_!”

Frowning, Oliver moved so that he was standing directly in front of her, his eyes burning into hers as he raised her chin with one finger. In that moment, she could see the war raging in his head, the desperate need to protect her, to be there for her, but also… the killer seeking revenge hidden beneath. “Felicity…”

She closed her eyes; still amazed at the way he was able to convey an entire sentence in one word. She’d always loved the way he said her name. She grabbed his hand, interlacing their fingers.

“I know that he hurt you, Felicity. But I am promising… no I am _swearing_ to you that he will never get the chance to do it again.”

“I can’t rely on you to be around all the time to protect me, Oliver. I’m just…” she dropped her voice to a whisper. “I’m scared. All the time. I can’t stop it, I can’t get rid of it, and I feel like I’m still on that freaking island. I can’t… I can’t _breathe_.”

He pursed his lips as she drew in a shaky breath, annoyed at herself for revealing so much. But she needed him to understand why it was so urgent that she learned to defend herself.

To her surprise, Oliver stepped back, and then he turned and walked away. Covering her face with both hands, she groaned in embarrassment. She felt him approach again when his warm fingers gently coaxed hers away from her face, and she looked up to see him wearing a sad yet encouraging expression.

“I want you to have something,” he said, bringing something out from behind his back. “You told me this morning that it helped you while you were on the island.”

“Oliver…” she stuttered, licking her lips as he pushed a green hoodie into her hands. It was exactly the same as the grey one she’d worn previously. “Did you buy this today?”

“No, I’ve had it for a while now. Ever since my old one was stolen,” he said with a wink and she couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped. “It’s probably miles too big for you but I thought it might help.”

Clutching the fabric tightly in her hand, Felicity stepped closer to him, bringing the other one up to cup his cheek. His eyes widened slightly as she leaned in, pressing her lips to his. Giving herself no time to think, she pushed up onto her toes, her hand moving to the back of his neck as she deepened the kiss.

As his arms wrapped around her back, pressing her closer to his body, Felicity forgot all the reasons that this was a bad idea. All the pain and regret, it all flew away in his embrace, and for the first time since she’d returned, she allowed herself to just _feel._

His lips were so soft, yet firm against hers, and when his tongue peeked out to lick her bottom lip, she gasped. Slowly, Oliver moved his hand up her back, cupping the back of her head below her ponytail. Tilting his head, he sucked her bottom lip between his and Felicity felt her whole body melt into his.

This was wrong, she knew it deep down, so why couldn’t she bring herself to care? Images began to flash across her mind, of what might happen if this went too far too soon. It was enough to make her pull back abruptly, leaving him searching for her mouth for a second before he realised what had happened.

He opened his eyes and Felicity felt the full force of the heat she saw there. It hit her hard, forcing her to increase the distance between them. But he didn’t let go, he kept his arm around her waist as he struggled to get his breathing under control.

It shouldn’t have happened, she knew that, but she couldn’t regret it. She did, however, regret the frown that it caused, and she reached up to smooth out the little crease between his eyebrows. “I’m sorry, Oliver. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Why?”

 _Oh God_ , she thought. If the look in his eyes wasn’t enough to melt her into a puddle of goo, the husky tone of his voice sure was.

Shaking her head, she closed her eyes. “Because it’s not fair to you.”

“What are you talking about?”

He was so confused, and it just made her feel worse. She pressed her fingertips to her swollen lips, still tingling from his touch. “I’m a mess, Oliver. I… I can’t be with you. Not now…”

“Maybe not ever,” he finished for her, understanding dawning in his gaze.

How was it possible that after everything that had happened, they were right back here, back to the moment where he’d said almost the exact same thing to her over four months ago?

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“It’s okay, Felicity. I get it.”

She doubted that, but as he slowly let her go, she hated every second of it. “Do you?”

“You’re not a mess.” He smiled, trying to hide the hurt, but she saw through it. “You’ve only been back a week and a half. Things are still… a lot to deal with right now. But it _will_ get better. We can get through this. And when we do, I will still be here. I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

“Promise me?”

He cupped her face in both hands. “You are not going to lose me, Felicity.”

Placing her hands over his, she nodded. “Good.”

Releasing her, Oliver made his way back over to the mats. “So, you still want to do this?”

With his back facing her, Felicity quickly slipped off her sweatshirt and replaced it with his hoodie, inhaling deeply as she zipped it up. The heady mix of sandalwood and something uniquely _Oliver_ , calmed her instantly, leaving a warmth spreading throughout her entire body.

“Are you actually going to teach me some moves?”

Turning back to her, he tilted his head and gave her an impatient look.

“Fine, but can we move through the core training a little faster at least?”

Folding his arms across his chest, he nodded with a wide grin, and Felicity felt her heart beat a little faster. He had been so sweet from the moment she’d woken this morning to find herself wrapped up in his embrace. She’d expected it to be awkward, but the warmth of his body had lulled her into a sense of peace and comfort that neither wanted to give up.

Something had changed in him since she’d come back, she could see it in how he looked at her. Like he was terrified that she might disappear right in front of his eyes. It was a stark contrast to the man who’d broken her heart all those months ago. He no longer pulled away from her, instead, he offered himself freely.

It comforted her, made her feel safe, and it allowed her to admit to herself that her mother had been right. She had been holding their break-up against him. Subconsciously and more than a little unfair to him, but it was there. _Well no more_ , she thought. _I forgive him._ It felt good to finally let that hurt and anger go.

“So what position do you want me in?” she asked, pausing as his eyebrows rose. Then her words hit her and she grimaced. “Should I even bother trying to correct that?”

“Probably not,” a voice said from the back of the room.

Felicity couldn’t see who was standing there because of the way the lights cast that part in shadow but she’d know that voice anywhere.

“Sara!”

 

* * *

 

“So what’s the plan with Queen?”

Slade watched the young man as he sat on his sofa, fidgeting. He was clearly on edge, eager to _do_ something. Ethan Williams was an intriguing person. A little crazy even by Slade’s standards but right now, he was an important part of his plan.

“Leave him to me; he’s not your concern. Tell me Ethan,” he said, sitting down in the chair opposite. “How did Felicity react to seeing you alive and well?”

Ethan’s face lit up as he pushed his baseball cap up further onto his head. “Oh man, you should’ve seen her face. She was so confused, but I could practically smell the fear. When do I get to go after her again? She was so much fun to play with.”

“Not yet, you’re still healing after you allowed her to get the better of you.”

“She did _not_ get the better of me! She just got lucky,” he snapped.

Slade smirked at him, enjoying his reaction. “Well you’re lucky I didn’t leave you lying there to rot.”

Ethan’s face darkened and for a split second, Slade saw a flash of what made him so dangerous. He’d seen it before, a long time ago. He’d even nurtured it. One day, he would turn on him, Slade knew that, but he didn’t care. Ethan posed no threat to him now. The only thing that mattered was Oliver Queen and his precious Felicity.

“You may have brought me into this, but you don’t control me, man.”

Slade smiled menacingly as he leaned forward in his chair. “Don’t forget that I am the only reason you escaped Lian Yu all those years ago. I own you now.”

Ethan’s anger grew, forcing the young man to his feet. He loomed over Slade, his fists clenched tightly at his sides. “Nobody owns me. Especially you.”

Slade leaned back, making a show of studying his hand, which only irritated Ethan further. “Regardless, you owe me and now it’s time for me to collect.”

Ethan sat back down, the anger in his eyes amusing Slade. “I’ve already done enough for you.”

“And yet, you’re still not done.”

“Why are we waiting? You want to take Oliver out, so why not just do it already?”

Slade sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Because, I want him to suffer. I want _her_ to suffer. They can’t suffer if they’re both dead. Understand?”

Ethan bristled at his tone, but nodded. “I just don’t get it. Why me? Why not just go after her yourself?”

Slade reached for his sword, placing it across his lap. “I want to see his face when he realises that another person from his past is responsible for her pain. I want him to realise that no matter how hard he tries, he cannot beat me.”

He released the sword from its sheath, the blade glinting in the light. “Only then will I kill him and end this once and for all.”

“And what about the girl?” Ethan asked, a hint of excitement colouring his tone.

“You’ll get your chance,” Slade replied, basking in the glory of knowing what that would do to Oliver. “But her death will come by _my_ hands.”

 

* * *

 

Sara Lance walked forward into the light, her hands tucked into her jeans pockets. She stopped in front of Felicity, her eyes taking in a quiet assessment. “You look good, Felicity.”

Slowly, as if she was facing a caged animal, Sara reached out to pull her into a hug. Felicity wrapped her arms around her tightly to let her know that it was okay. She wasn’t going to break from the simplest human contact.

“I guess four months in the sun will do that to you. I don’t think I’ve ever been this tanned before.”

She didn’t miss the look Oliver and Sara shared as she stepped back, and she fought the urge to roll her eyes at their overprotectiveness. Maybe it was a vigilante thing.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t come sooner, I had some business with the League that I couldn’t get out of. But I got Ollie’s messages, I was so happy when he told me you’d been found.”

“It’s okay; I had this guy to keep me company. He’ll do in a pinch.”

Her statement had the desired affect at least, both Oliver and Sara smiled, and the tension drained out of the room. “I hear you were keeping the streets of Starling safe while I was gone.”

Sara’s eyes flicked over to Oliver, then back to her. “Yeah, I helped out whenever I could.”

“You did more than that, Sara,” Oliver said, sending her a grateful look.

Sara shrugged, taking a seat in a nearby chair. “It was nothing. So tell me, what’s the situation?”

Right, of course, it was down to business. Sara was a lot like Oliver in that way; she wanted to know the facts first so that she could make a plan of action. “Well, Slade’s in town and he brought a friend.”

If she was shocked, her face didn’t show it. “Who’s the friend?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t been able to find anything on him, but Slade has been popping up on a lot of my facial recognition searches.”

“He wants us to know that he’s here,” Oliver said darkly. “He’s waiting for something, biding his time.”

Sara nodded. “Sounds like Slade. He planned his revenge on you for five years so I’m really not surprised. Where does the other guy fit into all this?”

Felicity clasped her hands together in front of her, if only to stop them from shaking. “He was uh… he was-“

“He was on the island with Felicity,” Oliver said, squeezing her arm gently. “He attacked her.”

Now that did get a reaction. Sara’s mouth dropped open as she focused on Felicity. “But you’re okay? He didn’t hurt you?”

Felicity grimaced. “It’s a long story.”

As if sensing her discomfort, Sara nodded and changed the subject. “So I hear Ollie’s training you now. How did you manage to get him to do that?”

Felicity chuckled. “I told him that if he didn’t, I’d just ask you.”

“That’s not a bad plan, I like it.” She stood up and walked over to where they were standing on the mats. “I think I can teach you a thing or two.”

“Sara…” Oliver warned.

“No, Oliver she’s right. I am about the same size as Sara, she can teach me certain things that you can’t. No offence.”

Oliver switched his glare between the two women, letting them know that he was not happy about this. But she could see that he knew it made sense. With a roll of his eyes, he held his hands up in defeat. “Fine, I’m outnumbered here anyway. How about I go grab us all some dinner while you two get started?”

“Ooh, Big Belly Deluxe?” Felicity asked, practically bouncing on her toes. It was a little sad that the prospect of a cheeseburger cheered her up so much. Then again, after four months of nothing remotely appetising, a cheeseburger seemed like heaven to her right now.

Oliver chuckled as he grabbed his jacket. “I’ll be back soon. Go easy, Sara.”

Sara waved off his warning as she stared at Felicity. “How are you, Felicity? I mean really.”

With Oliver out of earshot, Felicity’s bravado took a nosedive. “It’s been hard, I won’t lie. But I have a great support system; Diggle and Roy have been wonderful.”

“And Oliver?”

Felicity blew out a breath, thinking back to last night and how he’d held her so tight. “He’s been amazing, Sara. I know that he’s blaming himself for this, it’s par for the course with Oliver Queen. He somehow manages to make everything his fault.”

Sara took a step closer to her, taking one of Felicity’s hands in both of hers. “He blames himself because Slade is a big part of his past. He never wanted that part to touch you. I came back to help the city because I knew that his head wasn’t in the game, and that’s dangerous. He needed to focus on searching for you.”

“I don’t blame him,” she whispered.

“No, he’s doing that enough for both of you. He’s not going to rest until he catches Slade. He loves you, Felicity.”

Felicity didn’t know how to respond to that. She knew it was true, deep down, but she couldn’t focus on that right now.

Sara seemed to read her thoughts because she let the subject drop and stepped back. “Okay, let’s get started shall we?”

“What exactly are we doing?”

Removing her leather jacket, Sara then rolled up the sleeves of her white shirt. “You’ll see in a minute. You might wanna lose the hoodie though, you’re about to work up a real sweat.”

Immediately, Felicity’s hands clung onto the fabric. “No that’s okay, I’ll be fine.”

Sara narrowed her eyes, but shrugged it away. “Is there anything in particular you want to learn?”

Licking her lips, Felicity stared down at the mat. “Can you teach me how to get out of a choke hold?”

Understanding dawned on Sara’s face, but no pity, for which Felicity was grateful. “Sure. Okay, uh… you be the attacker and I’ll fight you off okay?”

Felicity nodded, and then Sara grabbed her hands and raised them to her neck. “Hmm, should’ve kept Ollie around for this. We need a taller example. Anyway, since you and I are a lot smaller than the people who mean us harm, we have to use our bodies as our weapon, not just our fists.”

Widening her stance, Sara placed her hands down at her sides. “Okay, there are three ways to break a choke hold. Well more than three, it’s as much about the situation you’re in as the moves themselves. The first one is pretty simple, if your attacker is standing close to you, raise your leg and kick. Hard.”

She demonstrated by raising her knee and pretending to jab it into Felicity’s stomach. “The thing about someone choking you is that their hands are around your neck, but yours are free. Use them. Do whatever it takes to break that hold. You can also grab their thumbs and bend them as far back as you can manage.”

“Third option is if he’s standing away from you far enough that eye gouging or punching wouldn’t work. Grab onto his forearms, and in one quick, fluid motion, yank them down towards you.”

Felicity frowned. “What? Towards me?”

“Yes, as soon as he bends, and he will as long as you are fast enough, you will then be able to knee him in the stomach. Or the family jewels, whichever is your preference.”

She demonstrated again and Felicity felt that she could actually get a handle on this.

“Okay, now you try.”

Sara raised her hands and as soon as she put them around Felicity’s neck, she flinched. Something that didn’t go unnoticed, but Sara didn’t comment. “Okay, Felicity. Fight.”

She didn’t apply any real pressure, but the panic started clawing at her insides, making her want to get away and fast. Immediately, she started pulling backwards, but Sara moved with her, keeping her hands around her throat.

“Fight me, Felicity, come on.”

“Sara…” She grabbed at her hands, trying to pull them away but Sara held on. Everything she’d just taught her had gone out the window, replaced with the image of her attacker instead. She could see his face so clearly, feel his breath against her neck.

Felicity yanked herself backwards so fast, her shoe caught the edge of the training mat, and before she could correct herself, she was falling. The momentum caused Sara to fall with her, and she landed on top of her, only just able to put most of her weight onto her elbows so that she didn’t crush Felicity.

“You okay?” Sara asked, getting to her feet.

“I think so. Sorry, I was-“

“What the hell is that?”

“What?” Frowning, she looked up, and felt a cold dread fill her chest when she saw what Sara was looking at. Somewhere during their fall, Felicity’s shirt had ridden up, exposing a decent amount of her abdomen.

Before she could even breathe, Sara was on her knees, slapping her hands away as she tried to cover herself up. “What is this?”

“It’s nothing,” she replied, trying to pull her shirt down but Sara was too strong. The look she gave her told her that she wasn’t going to let this go until she had an explanation.

“It doesn’t look like nothing. This is one hell of a flesh wound, Felicity. Did he do this to you?”

Felicity covered Sara’s hand with her own, holding it still as she stared down at the red, curved line across her left ribs. It was almost fully healed, but it still looked angry and sore. “Yes.”

Sara’s eyes narrowed but Felicity didn’t miss the anger swirling in them. “He used a knife, didn’t he? This is a deep cut.”

“He brought a knife with him, slashed me with it before I managed to hit him with a rock.”

“Felicity, you’re not trained enough to sew your own wounds and even if you were, what materials did you even have out there?”

Sitting up, Felicity pulled Oliver’s… _her_ hoodie even tighter around her torso. “It bled for a long time, but I kept putting pressure on it and eventually it slowed. I was rescued not long after that. The doctor stitched it up at the hospital. She said that it was a surface wound but it would leave a scar.”

Sara stayed quiet for a few minutes, long enough for Felicity to wonder where her mind was. “Sara?”

She flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder as she stared down at Felicity, and the look in her eyes made her shudder. Sometimes, Sara was downright scary when the assassin deep within reared its head.

“Felicity, you and I have both seen Oliver shirtless. We both know what scars he has, and where he has them. Now, correct me if I’m wrong but this wound is in the exact same place as the one he has on his abdomen.”

Felicity scoffed and tried to push herself up, but Sara placed her hands on her shoulders, stopping her. “It’s not… it’s just a coincidence.”

“Please don’t lie to me,” she said, her expression softening. “Slade knows where Oliver’s scars are, too. He put some of them there himself. He did this to you, to mirror Oliver’s, didn’t he?”

Throwing her head back, Felicity glanced at the ceiling. What was the point in denying it anymore? She’d held it in for so long now. Maybe it would be good to get it out. “Yes. The man who attacked me, he was very… methodical with his weapon. I knew what he was doing when he didn’t go for the easiest place to attack. Instead, he pinned me to the ground and searched for a place to… to slice.”

“Oh, Felicity,” Sara surged forward, wrapping her arms around her. “I’m so sorry. I suspected something when you refused to take that hoodie off, but I never thought…”

“It’s okay, Sara. I’m still alive, and I’m okay.”

Sara pulled back and studied her face. “Are you though?”

Trying not to squirm under her penetrating gaze, Felicity smiled. “Yes, I’m fine. Or I will be when we catch Slade and his buddy.”

Sara nodded, and stood up, reaching a hand out to help her up. “Then we need to step up your training. I think it’s safe to lose the hoodie now that I know.”

“Uh, you know, I’m a little chilly, I think I’ll keep it on for now.”

Felicity knew the minute she stopped talking that Sara had figured it out. She also knew that there was no point in stopping what was about to happen.

Sara reached for the zipper, pulling it down and pushing the garment off her shoulders. The cold air swirled around her body as it fell to the ground. The resulting gasp she heard told her that Sara had seen what she’d been hiding for so long.

“Felicity…” Sara’s voice had a rough edge to it as she gently moved the strap of her vest aside, revealing another scar just above her right breast. “He burned you.”

Felicity pressed her lips together tightly, blinking fast to dispel the tears in her eyes. She refused to let her mind go back to that particular attack. “Mh-hmm.”

“That’s two,” Sara whispered, pain lacing her tone. “How many more? And please, be honest with me. I need to know.”

“Two more. Four in total. Two on the front, two on the back. It was uh… it was a different attack each time.”

Her eyes widened so much that Felicity was sure they’d pop right out. “He came after you again and again? How long did this go on?”

As she shut her mind off, Felicity heard her own voice, almost robotic as she replied. “The first attack was a week after I was taken there. The second… I don’t know exactly, maybe two or three weeks later. Same for the third. The fourth one, the one on my ribs, happened about three or four days before I was rescued. But I can’t be sure on that one.”

She let out a bitter laugh. “I think he wanted to give me time to heal before going for the next one. So hey, at least he didn’t want me dead.”

When Sara moved to go behind her, Felicity placed her hands on her shoulders. “Please, Sara. Don’t.”

Sara swallowed hard, and Felicity could see that she was struggling to accept what she was hearing. The anger radiated off her in waves that were almost visible.

“He tortured you, Felicity. I’m so sorry; you should never have had to go through that.”

Felicity shrugged. “You’ve been through it. You have your own scars, and you’ve come out the other side of it.”

“That’s different,” Sara argued, her eyes once again falling to the burn mark on her chest. “This shouldn’t happen to someone like you. Not _you_.”

“Well it did. All we can do now is move past it.”

“What did Oliver say?”

Felicity’s head shot up so fast she went a little dizzy. “He doesn’t know and I’m not going to tell him.”

“What? Don’t you think he should know about this?”

She shook her head. “No, I don’t. Slade did this to hurt him. If he knew… it would kill him Sara. You said it yourself, he already blames himself for Slade taking me. _This_ would break him.”

“But-“

“No! I don’t want him to know about this, I want to protect him from it. I won’t give Slade that kind of power. He did this because he knew that Oliver would never be able to forgive himself. To see his scars on my body, it would be too much.”

Sara folded her arms, her body language screaming defiance. “I don’t like this.”

Felicity tipped her chin up, feeling a little stronger. “You don’t have to like it. Just please… don’t tell him. I don’t want to hurt him, but I also…”

Sara frowned. “What?”

Felicity breathed in deeply, and then let it out slowly. “I can’t bear the thought of him looking at me differently. I don’t want to see that in his eyes. Right now, I’m still Felicity to him, and I want it to stay that way.”

“Okay, I understand. But you’ll always be Felicity to him, you know that right? A few scars won’t change that.”

She grimaced. “We both know that’s not true. If he knew, every time he looked at me, these scars would be all he could see. And it would tear him up each time.”

Letting out a low growl, Sara scrubbed her hands down her face. “Fine, I won’t tell him. But as of right now, I am taking over your training. He will not lay another finger on you, and you will _not_ get another scar. You hear me?”

Felicity let out a breath of relief as she put her hoodie back on and zipped it up. “That is fine by me. Lead the way.”

“Okay, choke hold. Let’s go again.”

Just as Felicity raised her hands to Sara’s throat, the door upstairs banged shut. Sara whirled around, placing herself directly in front of Felicity as footsteps pounded down the metal stairs.

Felicity smiled, laying a hand on Sara’s shoulder in an effort to call her off. She’d know those footsteps anywhere. Two seconds later, Oliver appeared with a large brown bag in his arms.

“Everything okay?” he asked, noting Sara’s stance with a frown.

Felicity stepped forward, going immediately for the bag of goodies. “Yep, great. I’m starving. Oh, did you get extra pickles?”

Oliver grinned, reaching around her and into the bag to produce a box. “I ordered an extra portion, as well as the ones in your burger.”

“My hero,” she laughed, snatching the box out of his hand. As she busied herself fishing the contents out of the bag, she watched Oliver from the corner of her eye. The smile on his face as he waited for his food only reinforced her conviction that she was doing the right thing.

He’d been through too much already; and he’d lost so much. He’d seen things that still haunted him to this day. How could she add to that? How could she be another one of his unhappy stories?

It was simple; she couldn’t. Oliver could never know about the attacks, and he could _never_ find out about her scars.

 

_**To Be Continued...** _


End file.
